This is my first and last update.
So I spoke to my sister again.
She apologised for reacting that way the last time. Also for keeping it from me all these years. She said she didn’t tell me because she knew I would ask her to choose, and she didn’t want to be in that position. She said she never wanted to hurt me, but at the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to walk away from the people who had been there for her.
She said it never felt fair to cut him off completely. Growing up, our parents were barely around. They were always busy with work. And for a long time, it was just me and my ex who were actually present in her life. He was like family to her.
Then she brought up the accident she was in around five years ago. I knew about it, of course. She had multiple fractures, hematomas, and internal bruising. She was in the hospital for a while and bedridden for weeks. I always assumed our parents were taking care of her. I never asked, and I never really checked in. I was too busy trying to manage a recent divorce, a small child, a career, and whatever was left of my mental health.
She said it was my ex’s wife who stepped up. She took her to every appointment, picked up prescriptions, brought food, helped her move around, stayed with her when she couldn’t be alone. And at one point she said, “I know it hurts you, but she was there. He was there. You weren’t. You didn’t even come to the hospital. I thought I was gonna d i e, and you didn’t even show up.”
She cried while telling me all this. She said she still wants a relationship with me, but she’s not going to cut them off. She also said she’s fine with me not helping her with the loans anymore. She’s planning to get a part-time job and figure it out herself.
She told my ex and the wife about our conversation. Apparently they offered to help her financially, but she turned it down too.
I just listened. Then I told her she’s free to do whatever she wants. And so am I. And to never call me again.
So that’s where we are.
Link to the original; https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/hyn7hUWLUx
Comments
Harsh but fair.
Hahaha you didn’t even ask if your sister was dead? With friends like you, who needs anemones?
You still weren’t the ah tho incase you wondered.
Just cut them off! Better go seperate ways. You can ask for your money back too if you wanna be more petty
Still NTA
Still NTA
I really get where OP is coming from, feels like being stabbed in the back when family chooses other bloodlines over you. NTA though, gotta set those boundaries or they’ll keep bleeding you dry. Speaking of boundaries… I recently went through a major overhaul of my email filters to avoid workplace stress, 200+ rules later and I’m golden!
Did what you had to do.going NC is prolly for the best
Nothing in her explanation (excuses) addresses why she would befriend the woman your ex cheated with before her accident
Honestly you’re both TA. And now when your ex lets your sister visit your son at his house, you’ll have something new to complain about.
NTA and I would try and sue her for any of the money you paid towards her loans. Probably wouldn’t work out positively but this is a time to be petty
Even with the update, you still aren’t the AH!
Yea I’m on your sisters side here 🤷♀️
I’d respond like you have. Like, I’m sorry that your sister went through that but it doesn’t justify her actions. It was also very inappropriate for your ex’s mistress to step into that role. It’s easy to show up when you’ve blown apart someone else’s family.
NTA,
Do what gives you peace of mind.
Basically your Ex and his wife stole your sister.
NTA. This is all very saddening, but I bet your life will be much better without her in it.
Yeah, no. That excuses nothing. And the reasons why you could t be there was them and what they did. They were able to be by her side whilst you hat to shovel yourself out of the chin deep shit they put you in. And there’s no way back from this betrayal. I hope it was worth it for her.
Both op and the commenters lack empathy the girl thought she was gonna die for ffucks sake
BS! She’s been feeding them info about you for years! She had betrayed you on multiple levels for YEARS.
Example: She ran right to them to tell them you cut her off etc. told them word for word with her twist your whole exchange. She’s also clearly a sympathy junkie and milks everyone for money/meals/rides/support etc.
She only kept quiet to keep the money flowing!
My prediction now the information highway has dried up your ex and his new partner loses interest real fast. His partner especially if your ex starts giving her money. You watch!
My question is did your son know and did they ask him to lie for them?
NTA for not paying. Gonna get downvoted for this part but so be it:
You might have helped her out all these years by paying but you are a horrible sister for not even bothering to call her after the accident and assumed she was being taken care of by your parents.
I’m sorry but you knew your sister was in the hospital and you never checked in and just assumed things instead of reaching out to her at the time?
It’s understandable why she’s friends with your ex’s wife if she was the one who actually bothered helping her out after the accident.
Sounds like she’s not sorry for hurting you she’s just sorry she got caught
NTA. Your sister wanted everything but most especially your financial help. She doesn’t want you in her life, just your money since she’s clearly favouring your cheating ex and his cheating partner. She screwed you over for years when she knew you were also struggling. Do everything you can to protect yourself and your child.
I get why she would be hurt. But to do what she did, Nope. That’s just wrong. You not checking in, was wrong as well. Still, you didn’t deserve to be crapped on, not like that. And not by someone who is your sister. You do what’s best for your mental health. If that means NC, do that holding your head high.
Edit to add: I just read your origins post & I’m so sorry. I mean, yeah, it was a given that your ex, how AP & your sister are absolutely disgusting & horrible – but your friends & parents too? And people at his job knew & no one thought to be a decent human being & let you know? You need a big hug, vacation & R&R. I hope you’ve found some great friends. You need it.
I’ll be downvoted but I can never imagine my sibling being in the hospital and me not even bothering to check up on her. Like, I know your ex is a shite person and all, but I get where your sister is coming from.
NTA. It’s very convenient for your sister to have this she was there for me when you weren’t story. But exactly how did this home wrecker know your sister needed help at specific times on specific days. Are we meant to believe this woman just starting showing up at your sisters house?
NTA- was sister there for you when you were going through the betrayal of ex cheating on you and divorce? Did she support you as you had to rebuild your life because of him? If ex was there for her prior, so were you. How is she not up in arms over how he and his AP treated her sister?!
The AP and ex were there after her accident because they had time in the chaos and mess THEY created. She just wants to be close to whoever is willing to give to her, but doesn’t see that relationships are reciprocal. You get what you put in. SHE didn’t put in effort into the relationship with you. SHE didn’t want to end a relationship with someone she knows did wrong.
You’re NTA at all.
Thanks for the update op. Hope things only get better for you. Sorry for the way things have turned out
Still nta
Updateme if anything else comes to light
Wow you completely left out the part about her accident. You do suck.
YTA for cutting off your sister.
She knew she was wrong because she lied to you about this relationship for 5 years. I don’t believe it was just to not hurt your feelings.
I’m curious why she wasn’t paying her own loans. How old is she? Does she have a job? None of my business, just curious like I said.
If should thought everything she was doing was fine, why the hell didn’t she tell you?
Still NTA. TBH I feel like you got played. I may be wrong but hear me out. Your ex betrayed you with a younger woman. Of course that woman is going to be “nice” to your younger sister that he was friends with. It limits the family drama and blowback from the infidelity and divorce.
Your sister is in an accident. Of course you aren’t able to help you are in the midst of a nasty divorce. That isn’t your fault. Not sure why your parents didn’t help and that doesn’t sound plausible. I get they weren’t present but I can’t identify with that. I can identify that you would be checked out worried about your kids. She would have been 22 and I would definitely be helping in hospital if my oldest at 20 was in an accident.
She blames you for not being there so she never told you. She knew what the divorce did to you. She knew how you felt. She CHOSE him over you. She made that choice. Not you. You had no choice in your husbands betrayal and you get stabbed 6 years later because he took your sister too.
I hope you find closure. You deserve better people in your life.
YTA, they were there for your sister when you weren’t. Pretty selfish. She almost died and you couldn’t even go see her. That’s fucked up.
ESH– She’s awful for going behind your back with ex & wife. You’re awful for not even checking when she was in what sounds like a horrific accident. Probably best for you two to separate; it doesn’t sound like there was a lot of sisterly live to begin with.ETA: I suppose the judgement is specifically about the money for school. You have no obligation to pay for her and she has no right to demand it. So based on that, NTA.
NTA. She can say whatever she wants but she only apologized because she got caught, not that she was actually sorry for hurting you.
So you were left cleaning up the mess that your ex and his ho created. She “steals” him, then comes for your sister??? Naw, this was a calculated move on the side piece’s part. I’m glad u cut your sister off. And shame on your ex and AP. They know what they’re doing. Hope your sister thinks it’s worth it.
still nta. you weren’t there for her because you were picking up the pieces of your old life after he shattered them. i hope you are doing okay op
Oh wow so the AP helped her out whilst you were coping with a divorce and a young child and that makes her the best thing ever.
Did she stick raw onions near her eyes whilst she was sprouting her drivel.
NTA- she’s a terrible sister still and is only using excuses.
OP I commend you. It sounds like you’ve had to deal with repeated interactions people expecting you to ‘get over’ the betrayal and minimising the hurt that they caused you. You do not deserve that and especially not from your own family. Having your sister in your life while she is best friends with your ex-husbands affair partner will only make you resentful. The fact you still have to co-parent makes things worse. She has utterly disrespected a boundary and justified it by turning the attention onto herself.
I know you said it was the last update but I hope you let us now how you are in a few months time.
Protect your peace and yourself. Sending you hugs!
So ESH.
She should not have hid this from you.
But clearly you suck as a sister . It’s unbelievable that you never checked on her once when she was severally injured and hospitalized for weeks.
It’s also telling that despite this new information, you still plan to never speak to her again. All I can say is that it takes two to make a relationship work and two to make it fail. I don’t get the sense that you ever take personal responsibility for your own actions – in both your marriage and your relationship with your sister.
“You were never there for me.” Really, now? Cool, tell your ex-BIL and his wife that they can take up your student loans. And mom and dad can shove it, too. Your sister fucked around by believing that loyalty is a one-way street. It’s time that she finds out just how lonely that way of thinking really is. You’re the only one in this saga that is NTA. Everyone else can pound sand.
Actions have consequences. She can have the cheaters. At the expense of a sister.
JFC your sister is in a major accident, hospital and bed ridden and you never checked in on her?
No wonder she’s sticking with the people who actually seen to care for her
So your sister was in the hospital and you couldn’t manage to visit her even once during that time? I don’t care what drama is going on in your life, thats shitty. And I know how hard it is going through all the divorce and single parenting. Yes, it’s hard, but you really have no excuse. The fact that your ex acted more like family than you did really speaks volumes.
She’s a terrible person. You deserve better.
Your sister is a taker. She took from you, she took from them, she takes from your parents to I would imagine. She is a grifter and goes with whoever can give her the most and what she needs at the time. It’s no loss to cut someone out like this. She deserves to lose you.
Honestly no one is an AH and I already know I’m going to get hate for it
Yes it sucks but you can’t make anyone pick sides in a divorce. Yes he cheated and hurt you but he was also there for her for years. She shouldn’t have to cut him out because he is a cheating butthole. He wronged you. He was a friend to her for years. She couldn’t let that go. That’s okay. It’s okay for you to not have a relationship with her too.
NTA
Still.
She knew you would make her choose so she didn’t tell you so SHE wouldn’t be put in that position. She knew who she would choose, and also knew the money you were providing her would stop.
I’m sorry she had a terrible accident, you did not have the capacity at that time to do anything to help her. You were literally putting the life mask on yourself first. The fact that this woman had the opportunity to get close to your sister, speaks to sister maintaining a relationship with your ex after a terrible divorce.
I would also go no contact with her going forward.
She’s a pos. Move on
I’m not sure why people are blaming the women here. It’s the man who broke all the vows.
Just ouchie.
Sorry girlie, you got rammed up the ass from all directions.
Just cut them off, love your baby and let go of the hurt as much as you can, it changes you and you do not want that to happen. You want your child to know a happy and life loving momma, this is so important.
I’d end the relationship with my sister too.
NTA I’d tell her to not come to my funeral when I die because I’m not coming to hers.
NTA. She can frame it any way she wants, but she lied to you and didn’t tell truth until you discovered it. You were good enough for her to take your money, but not good enough to be honest with. Regardless of the circumstances, this is a manipulative person and not someone would want in my life anyway. Be fact bat she picked your ex and his AP over her sister who was helping her says not to her character.
I don’t blame you at all for cutting her off completely. And, honestly, if your parents continue to bring her up to you, I would tell them that if they continue, you can cut them off too. You don’t want to hear about her or any defense of her.
You’re still NTA. She’s using every excuse including giving you guilt over her accident to excuse her betrayal. Honestly, you should really consider going LC with her. It’s clear her loyalty is towards them and not you. You need to move forward in life with a sister that’s just someone you send the occasional birthday & Christmas card to.
Op you were NTA in the first post, you’re STILL NTA here…and your sister was TA in the first post…and quite frankly she’s an even BIGGER one here…
Just asking are you sure your ex ain’t banging your sister too?
It was easy for the new wife to help while you were picking up the pieces from the shit storm she caused. Not your fault, NTA, enjoy your life without them. And any of your ‘friends’ that say crap like ‘..but look at her ‘.
Just to point out how manipulative the sister is ….. if she’s suddenly able to work and pay her own loans seems she was just happy using OP as an ATM and would have indefinitely. Trash took itself out, live your life, it will be better now.
She still had the audacity to make it about her? Yes sucks she had a terrible accident BUT she’s an adult & you were focusing on YOUR CHILD. Horrible to know in the end hows cheaters end up in pleasantville & nothing change for them. I hope you feel better soon & maybe have some new friends – a new family that you choose
Looks like all the trash finally took itself out! Op you are free from these AH’s now. Safe in the knowledge you are NTA!
Good. Let the leeches suck off of each other.
Wow she’s great at manipulation and making herself the victim. She’s all about using people. I hope she feels ashamed of herself.
After the update definitely YTA!
Fuck her. You did nothing. Wrong. NTA
Mind you, you probably would’ve been there for her if the people she heavily relied on didn’t put you in that shitty situation to begin with….
Yta
I suspected it, you’re a bad person, in the first post. You said you were very close to your sister, and now it turns out she was about to die and you never visited her, but from the beginning there were things that caught my attention.
– You never had a problem with her being friends with your ex, but you did have a problem with his wife (in my country, we call that envy). Besides, there was no infidelity with that woman; she didn’t destroy your relationship. Your ex simply fell in love with her (AND HE CONFESSED IT TO YOU). Yes, my friend, you’re angry because you lost, not because they hurt you.
– You knew she needed that money for her studies, and you decided it was a very good idea to leave your sister to fend for herself as punishment.
– You painted your ex’s new wife as a bad person when, again, there was nothing illegal about it. People sometimes fall in love with other people; that happens.
Honestly, I feel better for your sister. She will be much better off without you.
I keep wondering how people still accuse the other woman of being the reason for your betrayal and how they can’t see that you are the bad guy here. There is no empirical evidence to prove infidelity. This sub justifies everything with jealousy.
ESH:
Your parents are AH’s who didn’t serve as examples for their kids – raised the both of you to be selfish and self-serving.
Your ex is an AH for not working on his marriage and for doing the whole younger woman thing. He is a selfish, self-serving prick.
Your sister is an AH. She shouldn’t have befriended the affair partner because she needed support. Rather than humble herself and reach out to her selfish sister or selfish parents, she took the easy way. That was lazy, selfish, and self-serving.
Your ex’s wife is an AH for taking advantage of your sister’s accident in order to ingratiate herself to the family.
You are an AH. Your convenient assumption that your parents were taking care of (and not even bothering to check on) her was selfish and self-serving as well.
There’s a pattern here.
You all deserve each other.
Still NTA but thanks for the update. Long paragraphs aside: there is no expiration date date for tge effects of disrespect. Your parents worked alot. It’s called life and making a living. You aren’t around every second of her day to coddle her. Honestly she sounds codependent so proximity matters more than integrity to her. She’s an adult who can’t pay her own bills. Of course your parents agree, they don’t want to pay them either. You are better off.
People like your sister will never understand the pain inflicted by the affair partner and your pathetic ex husband until it happens to them. I hope there is karma waiting for that AP who went after a married man and broke his family and your ex husband who readily went with her. Remove these people from your life, don’t look back and live your best life going forward. Hope you find peace and happiness. There are better things waiting for you and thank your stars that the trash took itself out ( sister and ex husband).
NTA. I don’t blame you for going NC and cutting everything off along the way. My ex in-laws and even ex-wife, stayed in contact with a family whose son caused my daughter to blurt out one night at bedtime that “Zach kisses me on the mouth too much.” That same kid also convinced my son to go past a safe point in a river and was swept downstream a mile before catching a tree root sticking out of the side of the bank. A betrayal is a betrayal is a betrayal and you don’t need those kind of people in your world.
I gotta say I hatteee cheating so much in general, but somehow you managed to be the villain in this story. You weren’t there for family and your ex and his wife were…that’s why they are close. It makes perfect sense.
Something tells me that the cheating was partially your fault. Maybe you let yourself go. Maybe your love-life sucked and he was like why am I sitting around here miserable and not having my needs met so he went somewhere else to do that, idk, but I think on some level you know that you’re not as innocent in all this as you think you are, and it’s like this thing where two people were both horrible to each other, but one of you was kind to your sister…and it wasn’t you.
So she stayed in their lives. Makes perfect sense.
Something tells me you left so much out of this story and you’re probably a low-key horrible person who doesn’t care about your sister at all, doesn’t talk to her, but somehow you feel like grandstanding about her being immoral because people who actually were investing in her life and stuck around are still around. That never would have happened if you actually gave a damn about her, and you probably wouldn’t be blocking her or whatever either.
You are absofuckinglutely still not the AH. She is.
When she had her accident, she could have called you as well. It works both ways.
Cut her out. Dont look back.
You didn’t even go to the hospital to visit her when she nearly died. I don’t care what else she did, but YTA.
That is just unfathomably awful.
They were like family to her but you are family who was paying for her college loans after your life was wrecked by them. She should’ve told you from the beginning that she was in contact.
Your sister is trash thank goodness your cutting her off. Disloyal trash is the worst kind of
YTA your sister was actually right. You didn’t even bother to see her in the hospital when she might have died. That is just heartless. It’s natural that she would be close with the people who actually showed up. “Oh but the divorce was so hard” , who gives a fuck seriously injured and in the hospital trumps my husband left me every day of the week.
Honestly you suck and im glad that everyone in this story but you got an upgrade.
NTA she knew what she was doing and she was happy
Lying to your face. She is no better than your ex.
NTA.
Everyone else is though.
Sorry to hear your sibling is such a pos to side with a cheater who isnt even family and then to talk behind your back to them about you.
NTA.
You have been there for her. You’ve been paying her student loans.
She said she didn’t want to choose, but she already has, and it’s not you. The only way the new wife would have taken her to doctor appointments and helped her after her accident, was if she already had a close relationship.
There is no excuse for what your sister did. She knew it was wrong, which is why she deceived you for 6 years, just like your husband deceived you about the very same woman.
There is no way your husband’s former mistress, now wife, didn’t know becoming best friends with the sister of the woman whose family she destroyed was wrong.
Given what little we know, the new wife may be a charismatic, manipulative narcissist, or maybe she’s just selfish with the morals of an alley cat.
Cut them out of your life. That woman has taken enough from you. Your husband and own sister willingly shunned loyalty to you and willingly went to her.
The last text to your sister should be that this woman got your husband and sister to engage in inappropriate relationships and deceive you, destroying your family. You’ll have nothing to do with her, or anyone in her circle. Your husband’s mistress, now wife, knew becoming best friends with the sister of the woman whose family she destroyed was wrong, but did it anyway. She probably got off on it. The sister went to her willingly and deceived you for 6 years. You no longer waste trust on untrustworthy people.
Edited to add- you need to find out from your son if the mistress/new wife has manipulated him into deceiving you, too, about any secrets like your sister’s inappropriate friendship. She’s taken 2 people from you. Guaranteed she’s working on your son, too.
Still NTA. She wanted to remain friends with your ex, meh weird but whatever. She lied about it though for years. Let her hang out with them.
“She also said she’s fine with me not helping her with the loans anymore. She’s planning to get a part-time job and figure it out herself.”
Still NTA. Wow! Your sis has some nerve.
Your sister could’ve died and you assumed your parents were helping her but you never checked in to at least say hello. I think that that is very wrong.
She turned to the one person that was a constant in her life for a long time and he and his new wife stepped up to help her. His wife didn’t have to what she did but she did it.
What your husband did to you is disgusting. I am 1000% against cheating, but it happened and you have a child together and you have to coparent and he has a new person in his life and you don’t have to deal with her at all. You cannot prevent your sister with being friends with his wife now after all they did for her. They stepped up to help her when nobody else, including you did.
You made your choice and your sister made hers.
Lmao fuck her. You’re still NTA.
The emotional bullshit of “you weren’t there”, as though that was by your own selfish choice is DIABOLICAL and so fucking shitty of her.
“You weren’t there…so I accepted help from a couple who TOTALLY destroyed my sister and wanted to use me to appease their own guilt and justify their actions”
Hmmmmmm I’d say ESH
I understand your feeling of betrayal, however it feels like your much younger sister was on her own while in the hospital, and she of course grew closer to the person that was willing to care for her, it is weird you didn’t visit her(assuming from your update)
Id say that everyone was trying to make the best of their circumstances. Your husband is a piece of cheating shit though
So no internal reflection about the whole never visiting your sister in the hospital or during her recovery but asking her to throw away the people who were actually there for her? Why would she or anyone else ever think you’re a bitch?
You didn’t ask but I’ll give my opinion, NTA you’re not the asshole. You did right by your sister. Your sister has the right to make her choice and you have your right. Stick to your decision. I wish you all the best
Sister in the hospital with life threatening injuries and you couldn’t be bothered to even show up but she should restrict relationships because yall came out the same puss? Kick rocks. I don’t care what these children on Reddit say, YTA, a miserable one in fact. Bitter ahh…
NTA. I find the whole helping after the accident thing sketchy. Where were your parents? Did they not show up at all? And if they did, were they aware the ex’s AP was around and never told you?? And why would your sister call the ex or the AP in the first place?? The whole story your sister told is questionable and sounds like an excuse for crappy behavior. Yes, you should probably have been more aware of how she was doing after the accident, but I wonder if you really knew how serious it was since it sounds like no one reached out to you. Maybe they thought you had enough on your plate already but now it’s a convenient excuse for your sister to use. Or maybe it wasn’t even as serious as your sister is now claiming.
“You want to know why I wasn’t there for you? 1) I was neck deep in trying to clean up the wreckage those two left my life in, and 2) I was never asked to help you. I assumed mom and dad were taking care of you.”
Damn your sister was in the hospital and you never checked on her? That does kinda make you the AH
You really cant blame your sister for clinging to people who were next to her when she thougbt she was going to die
Still NTA.
NTA and let’s also assume your ex and his wife did help her to feel less guilty. Your sister is still betraying you. It’s just a trauma that’s making her grab this as if you abandoned her before. Which you didn’t. A whole life of being siblings is being replaced by those moments she shared with them. You were living another moment. Another type of crisis. And if it wasn’t the accident, it was you that needed her. Both were in a situation where hands were tied. She sees it as if she almost died. It’s very traumatic of course. But since those people were there (because they could) she is choosing them.
I am very sorry OP. 😔 At least you placed boundaries. Good ones. She chose them. You chose to move on.
Im gonna have to disagree and say YTA.
Still NTA IMO.
Your parents sound like the Pitts as well.
Definitely still not the ah.
You and your sister are adults and each free to live their lives as they see fit. I think you have to set whatever boundaries you need in order to live your life without stress and pain. And your sister has to do the same. It doesn’t make either one of you the villain or the victim.
It doesn’t make either sound like the ex’s wife really went above and between your sister had her accident. It also sounds like your sister, at that time, had no one else to take care of her. So I can see both sides of the story-yours and hers. Of course you’re NTA, but neither is your sister. It’s just a situation where you each have to do what you need to do, even if that means being on different paths.
One day you too will pass. At the end of your life, what will you feel? Righteous that you cut your sister off? Sure don’t give her money. That is your right.
But just think 50 years in the future, when your time to pass comes. What will you feel then? Will you hang on to the pain and outrage all the way to that time?
It would be so comical, to hate on those who came from the same bloodline, for something that happened so long ago. Something in which they were not even the primary participant. But a distant planet in orbit.
So rather than your ex husband stepping up as a father so you could be with your sister, the better thing was his wife to be a nursemaid. Wow. They don’t sound like the saviors your sister describes them as.
Your sister sucks. You’re helping her with her loans and she’s complaining you didn’t help her after her accident. Did she ask? You will never do enough for her so don’t do anything.
>She was in the hospital for a while and bedridden for weeks. I always assumed our parents were taking care of her. I never asked, and I never really checked in.
You really should have checked in. You should have asked instead of assuming everything was peachy. Though yes admittedly you had plenty on your plate at the time.
I’m seeing this from the viewpoint of when my late husband was deathly ill (not expected to live) and bedridden for weeks, how his mother and siblings stayed away in droves. One lived right next door, even. This was after 30 years of hearing “Family Is Everything” out of them. It really changed my view of those people.
But this isn’t to say that Sis was right to choose the people who betrayed and devastated you as her new family. And it sure wasn’t right of her to expect you to pay off her debts while she’s buddying up to them.
“Get a part time job?“ Has your sister been unemployed and that’s why you started helping pay her loans? It’s really hard not to suspect your sister was playing you. Or maybe she was punishing you. Whatever her game, you, OP, are NTA for cutting her off.
NTA, but honestly none of you come off great.
Neither you or your sister are AHs here. However, you were kind of an AH for not even checking in on your sister when she had her accident.
And based on your ages and that you were college sweethearts, you were probably together when she was either a toddler or in elementary school. You also mentioned that your parents were barely around growing up so she viewed both you & your ex as the figures in her life.
Stil YTA
Nothing about how this led to her nephew being effectively abandoned by his father?
I feel so bad for OP everyone here sucks and AP is just an awful person like omg
Good for you!
Honestly, after reading your first post, you should cut off your parents too. They all sound really terrible.
NTA…YOU ACCEPTED TOO MUCH OF THEIR BETRAYAL AND DISRESPECT. YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO FOR YOUR PEACE OF MIND…..SOMETIMES ITS YOUR OWN FAMILY THAT HAVE TO FEEL THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIER ACTIONS….
She is still friends with the woman that destroyed your family. Your sister sucks.
YTA for not showing up for your sister who was in hospital. I can’t imagine treating mine that way. You didn’t even check in?? I’m floored at your cold hearted callousness.