My (27f) boyfriend (33m) of a year has never cheated and I truly believe he never would. But the entire last year of our relationship was full of lies about the other women in his life and I don’t think I really trust him in general anymore. He’s doing everything he can now, he explained that he had no idea how to date and was scared of losing me so he said things that weren’t true. He’s ended those relationships too but we’ve been discussing living together at the end of the year and instead of feeling happy and excited I’m just anxious and upset. Do I just wait until I can start trusting him again?
Tldr my boyfriend lied to me consistently during the first year of our relationship and I don’t know how to work towards regaining trust
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I wouldn’t trust a liar. If he was comfortable enough lying to you then what makes you think he wont be just as comfortable lying again or worse. Nope. I don’t forgive or forget lies, deceit, betrayal those are my non negotiables.
Don’t commit to a home you don’t feel good in. Push the move in date out, or just give yourself a break from him.
You don’t. You break up.
If you refuse to break up, fixing the relationship is on HIM. He is the one who cheated (lying and having other women in his life, if it’s big enough to cause this much shit, I think counts as emotional cheating at the very least). It’s his responsibility to prove to you that he is trustworthy and a good partner. It’s not your job to gaslight yourself into being ok with stuff.
You’re only one year in, and year one was all lies? Why would you stay?
His character is dishonest. That’s who he is. Do you want to be with someone whose values don’t align with yours?
What would it take for you to trust him again? What exactly is he doing–not saying, I mean actions–to stop being a dishonest person?
i don’t know. what were the lies?? this is a complicated situation.