I slept with someone I’d hooked up with a couple times in September of 2024. We were friends, he was beautiful and I had always had a thing for him despite him being pretty broken, mostly emotionally and with a bunch of addictions.
He moved away in October and I haven’t seen him since. Occasionally we will text, often flirty but never serious.
Today I found out he got married yesterday. His new wife posted a timeline of their relationship, which I saw and they started dating in July of 2024. Which makes the last time we hooked up cheating.
I feel pretty sick to my stomach about it and I don’t know if there is anything I should do.
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I would like to know if I was her. Reach her out, with proofs if possible.
Might be a chance that they started dating in July, but didn’t become exclusive until later, but to make it sound more legit she decided to make July their anniversary
I feel like this is a bit of a stretch. People “date” for several months before being official or exclusive. If he hasn’t sent any sexual texts or asking for a hook up since he left then I’m assuming in October is when he made it official seems legit to me.
Yeah… You’re only half the victim in this situation. Let her know and provide proof… Hopefully before they buy a house together and connect all the accounts.
It’s a tough situation, but you found out the truth and now you can move forward with clarity.
Let it go.
Just move on like an adult.
That sounds like a tough situation. Since you asked, I think focusing on your own feelings is a good start. Have you considered talking to a friend about it?
Im sorry but he seem to have prefered her. No he wasnt cheating with you. Get down from that cloud
Mind your business he’s not coming back to you.
He cheated on his wife is insanely misleading
Be glad you dodged that bullet. Not your fault.
Move along, you had fun and there is no reason to go back and cause drama.
Nothing for you to do. Move on.
Move on, cut contact
You did nothing wrong. You dont even know if they were exclusive. Move on and dont have more contact with him.
Time to move on girl. Who cares what he does. He wasn’t married. If he was into you he would have married you.
No, there’s nothing you should do about it. That notion is insane actually.
How do you know you were cheating with him? You already said he wasn’t married, so there was no affair. Were they in an open relationship? Are then ENM or lifestyle? Too much assumption to say for certainty.
tell her wtf
Let’s be realistic here. He cheated on her, and the same people telling you not to tell her would want to know if their partner cheated on them. They got married to each other in a year. Don’t let her waste her time with a cheater.
How do you date someone and not be exclusive, buddy definitely cheated. not really your fault. But list does things to people
That is not your burden to keep. There could be many circumstances that you don’t know about. Maybe they got in a fight and broke up that week. But, let’s just say they were going strong during your moments with him, that still isn’t a guilt you need to carry. It’s his. You have no responsibility towards this.
Also, a year of dating to getting married sounds awfully suspicious like he’s compensating for something, like he was cheating on her with others and was trying to distract her with a wedding. So just because it’s all smiles on social media, doesn’t mean it’s a honeymoon behind-the-scenes.
Move on and leave it be.
Don’t worry
Some guys just need extra fun
Geez i wonder how could a hookup with an emotionally broken addict could go wrong
Do nothing. Move on. Nothing good will come from getting involved.
Usually I have negative feelings towards people who sleep with married/soon to be married people, however that judgement is SPECIFICALLY reserved for women who KNOW the man they’re hooking up with is taken! I don’t think you should feel any type of responsibility for his stepping out, YOU DIDNT KNOW!!
I’m honestly not too sure if I would recommend telling the wife or not. If you knew upon first booking up I’d say 100% tell on his ass, but I think it’s fair of you to feel as though this might cause unnecessary drama that he’s hopefully put behind himself?? I feel like the responsibility in your hands is so little compared to what could’ve been on your hands had you known sooner and kept seeing him.
Just move on with your life. If he texts you, ask him to stop.
Same thing happened to me years ago! I was dating a guy for 8 months and things were starting to get serious. I was with him on a Thursday evening, made plans for breakfast on Friday only to not hear from him again after parting ways Thursday. I was asking his friends, calling hospitals, checking arrest records, nothing. Saturday evening a friend of his reached out to me feeling guilty about lying to me. The guy I was dating left early hours Friday morning to fly out of state to get married to his fiancé of 5 years. His fiancé that joined the military only 2 weeks prior to us meeting and getting together. She got to her duty station after basic training and her job training, got her housing and settled in. He then met her there and got married. I was just a filler until it was time for him to leave. Your best bet, move on. There’s nothing you can do now.
Move on like a adult. Doesn’t sound like he cheated he found someone he wanted to be with and not just sex or drugs or whatever else.
Just mind your own business. Now you know he’s married and let it go.
What makes you think they were exclusive in September? In any case, no reason to feel bad or do anything.
Block his number and cut all contact. Maybe he’s dishonest but even if he is, now he is taken.
Maybe get yourself tested for STIs because if he was lying to her, he could have been lying to you too.
You were used, manipulated, and thrown aside so he could go play house like he’s some perfect husband. And now he gets to keep living that lie unless someone calls him out.
You owe him nothing. But she deserves the truth. If it were you, wouldn’t you want to know?
Sounds like op is jealous and looking to cause fights
no he didn’t.
move on – and stop bothering him.
Ask yourself if you would want to know if your husband cheated on you.
If yes, tell her.
YOU didn’t cheat on anyone. It’s his business and for all you know, they had an open relationship. I’d leave it alone.
He may not have been exclusive with her and therefore didn’t cheat.
Sorry to hear my brother