I (F25) have posted here before about my crazy mom. Now I’m back because my boyfriend decided to cheat and life feels pointless.
Does everyone cheat? What happened was on Friday I saw a message pop up on my bf (28M) phone from his friend (28F, previous ex) saying she’d see him tomorrow. We live together and he was showering when I saw it pop up on his phone charging next to me. I was supposed to work the whole weekend and thought it was weird to choose to see her when I definitely won’t be home. He got out and I asked what he’d be up to while I was working, he said shopping. Didn’t say anything about meeting her, but I didn’t press. Saturday I asked how shopping went, he said good but still didn’t mention her. Sunday morning I looked through more messages because I was super suspicious why he didn’t say he met with her.
They did in fact meet up and the messages at first weren’t super sexual. Just saying he liked seeing her cleavage in the low cut top she wore that day. Her saying she wore it for him. When I scrolled further back, I could see she has an incredibly low self esteem and he liked to listen and hype her appearance up. But then I saw he was also asking her to send him porn videos, and talking about how she used to be very sexual when they went out. I still feel sick to my stomach.
See my previous post, but he knew my mom cheated on my dad for 19 years and me and my siblings found out by going through her phone when she went missing one night. I thought he loved me, that we’d get married and have cats and kids. We aligned so well, and now it’s all ruined and I feel empty. I’m going back to therapy, but what else can I do to just feel less hopeless?
As much as I love and want to be together, I’ve already messaged him saying he fucked around and found out, now he has to organise moving out ASAP. I know it’s petty, but I want to send her a message like: Hi this is the girl who’s boyfriend you were sexting! Dw he’s single now for you, good job in helping him cheat on me, he’s a piece of shit and you’re a homewrecker forever now yayy good job🎉
Any advice or hopeful experiences would be really really appreciated and needed rn. Thank you <3
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Backup of the post’s body: I (F25) have posted here before about my crazy mom. Now I’m back because my boyfriend decided to cheat and life feels pointless.
Does everyone cheat? What happened was on Friday I saw a message pop up on my bf (28M) phone from his friend (28F, previous ex) saying she’d see him tomorrow. We live together and he was showering when I saw it pop up on his phone charging next to me. I was supposed to work the whole weekend and thought it was weird to choose to see her when I definitely won’t be home. He got out and I asked what he’d be up to while I was working, he said shopping. Didn’t say anything about meeting her, but I didn’t press. Saturday I asked how shopping went, he said good but still didn’t mention her. Sunday morning I looked through more messages because I was super suspicious why he didn’t say he met with her.
They did in fact meet up and the messages at first weren’t super sexual. Just saying he liked seeing her cleavage in the low cut top she wore that day. Her saying she wore it for him. When I scrolled further back, I could see she has an incredibly low self esteem and he liked to listen and hype her appearance up. But then I saw he was also asking her to send him porn videos, and talking about how she used to be very sexual when they went out. I still feel sick to my stomach.
See my previous post, but he knew my mom cheated on my dad for 19 years and me and my siblings found out by going through her phone when she went missing one night. I thought he loved me, that we’d get married and have cats and kids. We aligned so well, and now it’s all ruined and I feel empty. I’m going back to therapy, but what else can I do to just feel less hopeless?
As much as I love and want to be together, I’ve already messaged him saying he fucked around and found out, now he has to organise moving out ASAP. I know it’s petty, but I want to send her a message like: Hi this is the girl who’s boyfriend you were sexting! Dw he’s single now for you, good job in helping him cheat on me, he’s a piece of shit and you’re a homewrecker forever now yayy good job🎉
Any advice or hopeful experiences would be really really appreciated and needed rn. Thank you <3
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not necessarily advice, but would you feel better sending the girl that text? she sucks and he absolutely sucks, but what would you hope for in response? i wouldn’t send the text, i would get him out and block everything immediately. as for does everyone cheat? no, of course, but it’s scary and i guess we can never truly know. also not great advice but someone who has been cheated on feels less likely to cheat, and obviously avoid anyone who has previously cheated, even if “they learned better”.
you found out before being married and having kids and cats, which makes it slightly better bc you can really make him disappear much more easily.
i’m so sorry this happened to you, sending virtual hugs. i hope you have a support system
this is soo heart breaking but im glad that u have the courage to face them. be strong, sending hugsss
– Do NOT go back to him. He’ll might attempt to love bomb you, so cut contact as soon as he is moved out.
– Don’t reach out to the girl. Be the bigger person. She already knows how he is since she was with him before, so she’s making her own bed. Also, him saying he liked her cleavage is such an ick and you absolutely shouldn’t just brush that part off- that is a big deal in itself.
– Let yourself feel your feelings but don’t let them control you. Take the time that you need to mourn this, but remember you are the only one who can pull you out of a bad place. You’re stronger than you realize.
– Not everyone cheats. I’ve been with my partner for close to a decade, neither of us have ever cheated or even considered it. We have pretty constant communication about what is and isn’t going well in our relationship. Keep an open dialogue moving forward and check in any time you feel like it’s time to do so.
-Life is not pointless. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket that is a boy. Find a passion and a purpose that brings you joy. You’re going to be okay.
sis you know what , there’s a thing that you should not feel that much depressed about that … how can you even be sad on someone like that , i mean you have your life ; obviously bro you’ll surely get someone who really deserves you . atleast think for him atleast for him don’t feel depressed or sad about this thing … what will you tell your partner in future huh ? that you were so depressed for some shit guy … everything happens for a reason , just wait for the right time you’ll understand why this happened to you … and you’ll one day tell like thank God that thing happened to me and now i’m here …. just bro try to deal it with good and mature mindset … just take my opinion and i can guarantee that you’ll not regret that … best wishes to you
You life isn’t ending you just hit the play button after your movie was on pause! So you can start living now after learning a lesson or two. For whatever reason this was necessary to be part of your journey! Be your own best friend and start major self care!! Don’t treat yourself as a victim. Instead you were the hero that saved yourself from making a terrible mistake! Good for you! Be proud and keep marching!
I am so sorry for all the awful things going on in your life. I can say it does get better. This is just a crappy season with shitty people. Once you rid yourself of those shitty people, life will get exceptionally better. 25! Your life is just beginning. Treat yourself! Get your nails done extra. Do you hair a different color. Do what makes YOU happy. No, not everyone cheats! Only those who can’t control themselves or are unhappy cheat. 25 is the age to explore your options. See who else is out there. I am confident you’ll find an amazing guy who treats you like a QUEEN. This heartache will pass. You’re worth more than this and life will get better the more you realize it. Hope you continue therapy and put yourself first. 💜 also, don’t bother with her. It’ll like talking to a wall. Write her a letter and burn it. Do the same for him if you want. Do what makes you happy!
It depends on how petty you are. I probably wouldn’t communicate with the girl. If she’s as insecure as you claim, any petty text directed at her would probably cause her to do self harm.
Good job. It’s not ending. You saved yourself and got out and now you can find someone that’s worth it.