Hey,
I’m not looking for advice or analysis — I just want to hear your story.
If you’ve ever been truly in love, or had your heart broken, what did it actually feel like? What was going on in your head? How did it affect you day to day?
I’m asking this because I want to understand the real emotions people go through — not textbook definitions or poetic quotes. Just you, telling it as you felt it.
Whether it’s messy, beautiful, painful, boring, overwhelming — I want to hear it. 500 words or more if you’re down to really share, but shorter is fine too.
No judgment, no need to sugarcoat anything. Just be real.
Thanks for reading — I’m here, listening
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Backup of the post’s body: Hey,
I’m not looking for advice or analysis — I just want to hear your story.
If you’ve ever been truly in love, or had your heart broken, what did it actually feel like? What was going on in your head? How did it affect you day to day?
I’m asking this because I want to understand the real emotions people go through — not textbook definitions or poetic quotes. Just you, telling it as you felt it.
Whether it’s messy, beautiful, painful, boring, overwhelming — I want to hear it. 500 words or more if you’re down to really share, but shorter is fine too.
No judgment, no need to sugarcoat anything. Just be real.
Thanks for reading — I’m here, listening
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I got broken up with out of nowhere. I thought we were going to get married. Of course looking back I see the red flags but I was young, early 20s so I thought it was all “normal”
He broke up with me over the phone. I just remember going numb. So angry and hurt. I didn’t talk to him after that.
TRIGGER ⚠️WARNING
I remember feeling very depressed. I remember not wanting to wake up. I remember thinking it’d be easier if I wasn’t alive. I remember even simple tasks like Brushing my teeth and feeding myself felt difficult. I felt like a weight was holding me down constantly.
I was grieving the loss of my boyfriend but also the loss of what I thought my life would be like.
I got some help and things are better now. Time also helps heal the broken heart.
Falling in love felt like colors got brighter and small things felt exciting. Breakup felt like a constant heavy pit in my stomach, like everything slowed down. Songs, places, even random smells would trigger waves of hurt. It was like living in a different world for a while until it slowly faded.
Falling in love was the greatest experience of my life. Getting divorced was the worst. It’s been five years and I still constantly think about her and what I should have done differently. It really fucks you up emotionally. Like it saps your will to do anything or have any ambition in life. For awhile my place got insanely dirty, even by my low ass standards. Just beer cans everywhere and roaches crawling in and out of them. I’m a bit better now and stopped drinking a year ago, but I still wouldn’t say I’m over it. I’m honestly afraid to get in another relationship because I don’t think I could go through this again. I did date for awhile on Tinder but it depresses me more than anything because I never connected with my dates like I used to connect with her. And frankly at 41 most of the people you meet on Tinder are single for a reason. Typically very overweight, mental health issues or something else in their life that leaves little room for dating.
I’m just coming out of the end of a 20 year marriage. I used to boast about how he wasn’t the average man because he would cook and clean as much as me, he was a very involved Dad and husband. We both worked full time and had children from previous relationship. It was love at first sight, he was loving and caring, he would buy me flowers just because. 2 years ago I became ill and something shifted. He started collecting random stuff and filling the house when I asked him to clear out and stop hoarding, he just bought more, parcels would arrive daily. He stopped helping around the house and just expected me to do it. He stopped being affectionate towards me. I begged and pleaded with him, but still no change. It got to the point where I just didn’t love him anymore, I resented him for the mess and the fact he could still go out to work and meet friends. He moved out a few weeks ago and hasn’t really spoken to me since. He messaged to say he was surprised to get divorce papers thinking we were having a 12 month trial separation. I asked what he was going to do with all of his stuff? If he thought we could patch things up? If he would listen to my concerns and pain? He didn’t reply. I’m angry because I will never know the truth, I tried so hard to be the wife and mother that was expected of me. I’m sad because it turns out he is the average man, 20 years of raising a family and because I’m no longer able to give 100% he pulled away
The first time I fell in love, I was 20 and it was the first time I felt like I was really being seen. All the cliches: you’re the only one in the room, they look at you like THAT, your heart flutters… it’s so real! And I think what makes it love is how tolerant you are of the hurt. I was really young, so when that particular love cheated on me, I felt like dying honestly?
He’d stayed in a relationship with his exgirlfriend; I came over early after work, her car was there, walked in on them, the whole cliche and yeah, it’s like death because your brain is grieving a really fucking bad loss. You want to curl in a corner and bawl your eyes out after scream at them, all the while begging them to hold you through it.
I was a bargainer; he picked me so I didn’t have to bargain with him per say, but I did have to bargain with myself every day for the next four years that I was worth it: worthy of love, worthy of attention, worthy of honesty, trusting someone – it was the absolute worst headspace I’ve ever been in. Heartbreak spaced out over four years, replaying that for yourself over and over again is so deeply traumatizing and cruel to self.
When I met my now-husband, falling in love felt nothing like what it did at 20. It was absolutely terrifying. It took all the trauma and bullshit from all the bad men in my 20s, and forced me to confront it. If I wanted to make it, if I wanted a life with this person, I needed to acknowledge I had growing up to do, too. And I finally opened my eyes to the parts of myself I was scared to reveal, he loved them anyways, and I learned that these things I held onto were so irrelevant to the good parts of self, now.
Love is so complicated; it should only hurt when lost or when it forces you to face yourself IMO 🙂
With every post I’m less and less skeptical of the dead internet theory
For me falling in love was almost a feeling of selflessness for another person that I didn’t know I was capable of. It was a sense of closeness and security, almost like we were metaphysically connected.
The heartbreak afterward sucked but it was not an immediate thing. It was more like a slow-burn that eventually came to a head. Tearing that band-aid off was painful and at a certain point I was seriously considering offing myself as there seemed to point to anything anymore. Well past that though and in a much better place for it.
I’ll bite because mine is unconventional.
I was always ‘happy single’, and it was the surprise of my life when i met a 30 yo virgin at work, and damn or if he wasn’t the smartest, funniest, and kindest man i had ever met in my life.
Falling in love for us was like a big blast of limitless support for each other. One by one we helped we helped each others’ dreams come true. I truly experienced the action of love that permeates all aspects of life and its compromises and taking turns that perpetuates that love.
but alcoholism is so evil it can sneak between the cracks and through the shadows and at the ten year mark, in late stage-alcoholic psychosis-i broke both our hearts by walking away-because i couldn’t get away with my bullshit anymore.
i left ten years ago and the heartbreak is kind of like space, and where that big bang of interest ignited our love, it had been a supernova for my mid 20s and my 30s, and where that sun burned is now a black hole, and what i let go of is like the empty vacuum of space.
i live in a constellation with my cats, and our corner of space is honestly delightful.
but i notice everyday what’s missing, that burning energy of support when someone is actively loving you as easy as breathing.
I broke up with my first love and boyfriend of 5 years quite spontaneously over a minor conflict that acted like a lightbulb moment for me. What came as a surprise to both of us was only a matter of time according to most people in my social support system (my dad’s reaction was literally ‘finally!’ as he didn’t want to interfere but saw the writing on the wall for more than a year).
Initially, I was just in shock. When I got home, a roommate saw my blank face, asked what’s wrong and I completely broke down. The spontaneous crying spells whenever someone looked at me with kindness in their eyes kept happening for a week or so. I felt like my chest was being cracked cracked open. I couldn’t eat and felt nauseous. There’s no way to accurately describe just how lost, lonely, and bereft I felt at first. My friends/ roommates were my life raft as I was suddenly confronted with the realities of being single for the first time in my adult life and having to extract this person I still loved deeply from just about every aspect of my life. Mourning our shared time but also the future we had imagined for ourselves was hard. Being proactive, journaling and talking endlessly with friends helped a lot.
On day two I even wrote him a letter that explained why exactly I ended it as the conversation while breaking up wasn’t very coherent or productive. That ended up giving both of us quite a bit of closure. I packed his things up. Crying spells. We texted and video called sporadically. Crying spells. I went about my daily life and the most minute things would remind me of him. Crying spells. Will I ever find someone as good and kind as him again? Crying spells. Wow, was I wallowing.
During the first week, there were a lot of impromptu therapy sessions with friends. At some point, I realised I couldn’t heal if we kept in contact. The initial hurt turned into anger. Why did it have to come to this? Why did I wait so long to end it? How could someone love me so deeply yet not act upon it despite my endless efforts to communicate what I was missing? Not being able to turn to your go-to person was dizzying. Telling my parents scared me as my mom adored him as the perfect potential son in law. I read about three self help books, did all of their journal prompts to work and properly sort through my emotions.
On week two, I was slowly putting myself back together. Boy, was I mad at how much he took me for granted yet had the audacity to be hurt by me finally enforcing the boundaries and choosing myself. He broke no contact a few times which threw me for a loop and tore open barely closed wounds. Again, my friends were there to pick up the pieces.
Week three, my mom calls me out of the blue to share how his mom still wanted to make plans with her as he apparently hadn’t told anyone. I had to break no contact to tell him how it’s not okay to put that burden on my mom. At this time. I also started reflecting on the whole relationship and saw things without rose coloured glasses for the first time. What started off as a storybook romance and truly healthy relationship had changed over the years. From the ages 18-23 we didn’t just grow up, we also grew apart and should have let go way earlier. I realise just how often I had to reiterate the same wants and needs over the last two years if the relationship just for them to never be consistently met. Our conflicts turned from productive to petty.
Also during week three, I dove into being exceedingly social. I went to the gym, started eating properly again and didn’t cry anymore. While I still missed him, I kept thinking of him less and less until I felt like myself again.
Over the next months, I adored getting to know the version of me that wasn’t held back by a partner. There’s a phenomenon called post traumatic growth that can be applied to mayor life changes. I changed and grew into a person I was even more proud of after my break up. I became more self assured, self reliant and happier. Finally, I felt at peace again.
Looking back, the turn of healthy relationship into someone that caused more heartache than happiness was slow and insidious enough to not realise just how much it weighted me down. The absence of that conflict and hurt felt like taking off your ski boots after a long day. You don’t notice just how tight they felt while occupied with the excitement of going downhill, but boy do you notice the absence of their weight once you rest and open that Pandora’s box.
3 years post break up, I don’t harbour any ill wishes towards my ex. He’s a great guy that I simply outgrew. We were both young and stumbled our way through our first serious relationship without a clear roadmap of how to behave or when to exit. I’m glad for the good times we shared and thankful for the lessons learned.
Falling in love with my ex felt natural. We were high school sweethearts and it kind of felt like things just fell into place. We were very different but I just thought we complimented each other or that opposites attract. In some ways, we balanced each other out.
The breakup (divorce) felt out of the blue (found out he had been cheating). I couldn’t believe that this was my life. It felt like waking up from a bad dream only to realize that this was my reality day after day. It felt like my whole life came crumbling down. I could barely eat, could barely sleep and was only functioning because I had to (we have a young child together and I could only take a week off work). I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for several weeks and just felt so humiliated and angry at myself and at him.
Six months later, I feel a lot better. I was able to reflect on that relationship and see things more clearly (without romanticizing the relationship). Also, being able to take some perspective and see my ex for who he really is (without being blinded by love or commitment) helped me see that he was never going to be able to be the partner that I’ve always wanted/needed (loyal, honest, responsible, caring, etc.) which really helped me move on.
Being in love felt so easy at first. He was truly my best friend and favorite person. It felt like I was breezing through life like even if other things in my life were hard I hardly cared because at least I had him. My self esteem was pretty good because he loved me. We moved in together and started a cute little home and routine. He had his cat living with us and it felt like we were a little family. I knew that I would never have to be lonely all night once he came home from work (we both worked late).
One day he admitted that he wasn’t in love with me anymore and I had a panic attack. It felt like the someone punched me in the stomach and damaged some critical organs. I moved out and we are no contact and it hurts bad. I’ve grown to dislike myself quite a lot because if my favorite person doesn’t love me who can? It feels very lonely and I think about what he might be doing everyday. I have imaginary conversations with him everyday telling him how bad he’s hurt me. I’ve been moved out for about 2 months and I still spend most of my free time passively thinking about him. I’ve been going through all the stages of grief sometimes simultaneously sometimes I fluctuate between really missing him and being really mad at him.
(Not looking for breakup advice please don’t suggest things to me-I’m already doing all the things)
Falling in love is literally a drug. Youre in a flow state with that person. You think about them for like 80% of your waking hours. Everything about them is perfect and everything they do makes you happy. Life is perfect.
Break ups are the exact opposite, like withdrawing from a drug. Whatever happiness you felt in the falling in love stage is met with depression and emotional pain.
I’m coming out of a trauma bond, it feels really different from any other break up I ever went through. Honestly, I am just grateful to be alive and out of it. I feel anxious, scared, nervous, and really lost a lot of the time lately. I’m not sure what I’m suppose to be doing. The person had become my whole world, it was incredibly unhealthy and important parts of my life were really harmed. I was really harmed. I have to continue on even when I’m not sure where to go.
I’m afraid of trucks that look like hers, I hold my breath when motorcycles drive by my apartment. I’m all nerves and anxiety on and off. I made myself work short shifts every day of last month trying to feel normal again, but I still don’t. There are better days with hope and fun, they exist, they’re just quieter now. I don’t look at people the same way. I don’t feel like I trust the same way. I feel scared of people sometimes now. I try to remain hopeful and not sad thinking that maybe I’ll never go into anything wholeheartedly again.
Once I got into an accident on black ice where I smashed into an electrical box on the side of the road and after, driving my beat up car, I felt so embarrassed of the front bumper barely being on and the crunched up hood. I’m not usually a very “aesthetics” person, I don’t usually care how I look too much or whatever, but I felt vulnerable driving my car looking like that. As if people would judge me for the state of my car. That’s how I feel about myself lately – I don’t want anyone to see me because I feel broken and vulnerable.
I have never been in love but my ex boyfriend loved me with everything in him. I know he did. Nobody really talks about this aspect as ig it may be selfish but it hurt me to see him love me. Even when I pushed away he pulled harder. When I told him I was done he said he’d wait. When I told him I hate him he said he’d never stop loving me. When I lied and told him I cheated on him he wanted to fix things. I hated myself because of what I did to him. At the end of our relationship I could see the painful love in his eyes and it had drained him. He had his issues and we def weren’t compatible but I hurt him in ways I have never understood as I’ve never loved like that.
It depends on the breakup for me. My first breakup was in an abusive situation at 19. That felt easy because after the initial meltdown from him, I felt safe. My second was my first true betrayal and it hurt bad, definitely the worst for me. I couldn’t eat or function beyond work for months. I even dropped out of college at the time because this man had me convinced I had nothing going for me and was a bad person. I rebounded after a few months and came back so much stronger. My last breakup was tough, but nowhere near as bad. While he wasn’t my first betrayal, he had been cheating on me for (to my knowledge) 2 years, so it sort of hurt my trust in men.
I never felt falling in love quite the same way as I had with my current partner. It’s been nearly two years and we are still stronger than ever. About three weeks into knowing him it hit me that I REALLY liked him, and a couple weeks later I felt falling in love TRULY for the first time. I don’t want to say that I never felt it with anyone else, but I never had this strong before. The best way to describe the feeling is safe, content, and excited for the future.
I came out of a 24 yr abusive marriage. Was told by a highschool friend to come to him. I was upset and scared of my ex so I went across states to be with him and safe. Falling in love was beautiful. But I didn’t understand they were an alcoholic. He ended up using everything he could,even my love for him to abuse me mentally, physically and emotionally. I guess one could say I am ignorant. Or perhaps didn’t learn my lesson. That’s not it. I was so deprived of real love for so long I clung to an addicts words and promises. He could never do what he promised. As an alcoholic it’s just not possible. It’s been five years of living an addicts life and I’m sober. I’ve struggled to remain grounded. I bike, hike, kayak, run. Spend time with my loved ones and my dog. And although he tried desperately to damage all those things I used to heal, he failed. I came to realize love is beautiful. But when it’s used as a weapon to gain for one’s self it can cause damage and hurt that no one should endure. I’ll pick up the pieces once again. Hold strong to my faith and continue forward.
First and only love so far..falling in love was like going on a roller-coaster, I remember not being able to eat or sleep for the first month. Those butterflies were real, I felt invincible and on cloud nine. I remember feeling like I had the world in my hands.
However, the relationship got pretty nasty quite soon, I lost my sense of self and it broke me into pieces. I remember being a shadow of myself…
As for the breakup (I was the dumpee), I felt like choking at times. I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much as I did back then. It was also my first heartbreak and I wasn’t preparared.
It felt suffocating. It made me sick to the stomach and felt like a burning sensation in my chest. That was the toughest period. However, when I look back at that time, I’m glad that I didn’t avoid pain but actually faced it and walked through it. Time healed, it’s been a year and a half and it doesn’t hurt anymore. I hated him for a while but now I just wish him the best, wherever he is.
A few years ago I was engaged and planning a wedding. Down payments on a venue and everything. Out of nowhere, she left me for seemingly no reason. Honestly for a while I blamed myself and searched my memories for what I did wrong. I found no answers. I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety my entire life and this did not help at all. She ended things with me when I was graduating from college. I found a job and we found a place together in her hometown, nearly a 4 hour drive from where I am from. When she ended things I could not afford my own place so I had to turn down the job and move back home. I am not going to lie, for a long time I just felt empty. I was unemployed for almost 4 months. During this period I did virtually nothing except sleep and apply to jobs. Eventually I started getting back into hiking which helped a lot. I got a part time job while still looking for a job in my field. It really helped to just get out of the house whenever I could. So I worked, hiked, and did job interviews as much as I possibly could. I eventually pieced my life back together. But it was a long and hard road that required a lot of therapy.
Now I am happier than ever. In that life I would have ended up miserable. The world has a funny way of steering you to the right path.
I was 17 and met my first love on school campus. We went to the same college together. We were young and naive and fought most days. But he perused me like nothing I’ve ever experienced and I was smitten instantly. We stayed together for 4 years. The last fight we had I did the childish “fine it’s over then!” He came back to me every time over the years and I figured this was just another one of those stupid nights we will get over and move on from.
He didn’t come back to me that last time. It was gut wrenching, soul crushing, absolute death in my life. Clean cut, no communication.
I missed what I had with him and nobody was ever like him/good enough. We broke up when I was 22, im 32 married and feel guilty that I still think about him.