Okay so long story short, i met my girlfriend at a very rough point in her life shortly after her last boyfriend dumped her out of nowhere. (I want to clarify she does not still like him, in fact she hates his guts with a PASSION) I helped her out and was there for her because I understood what she was going through and we started dating and things moved a bit fast but it was fine.
Two and a half months in, she says that she basically wants some time to be out of a relationship since she has never really taken time to be there for herself specifically. Great! I support her 100%! However, she tells me she doesn’t know how long it’ll take.
It’s not like I don’t trust her. I know she’s not looking for other guys. I just want to know what to do here. I’ve never been with someone I like as much as her and I don’t want us to drift apart. I want to do everything I can to support her, but I don’t want her to lose interest in me on her self-love journey if that makes sense.
TL;DR; : Girlfriend doesn’t know how long break will last. What do I do?
Comments
I think she’s thinking that she made a decision to be in a relationship too early and now that she is stable enough, she might rethink the decision. I’ve been in her shoe so I can assure that it’s just a break and you’ll be fine just keep checking on her time to time.
You treat your relationship like it’s over. Have fun and talk to other people. She initiated the break, so you should not pursue her. If she reaches out, consider how you feel and how she’s treated you before making any decision.
Never start a relationship with someone immediately after a breakup (theirs or yours). It’s a recipe for failure.
She is doing now what she should have done before starting a relationship with you: healing from the hurt of the breakup and figuring out who she is and what she wants. When you break up with someone a part of your identity is gone and you really can’t tell who you are anymore. If you can’t do that, you can’t tell who is right for you either.
Where does that leave you with your life on pause for an unknown amount of time? Knowing that when she decides it may not be to stay with you? It’s not fair by you.
I think you both should accept that things happened too soon and end this now on good terms. Leave it open ended. When she’s ready and she’s still interested she can call you. If you are single meet her for coffee and talk and if there’s any chemistry still there ask her on a real date. But don’t expect that call.
Then after you made the breakup with her official you need to do the healthy things to get over it. Don’t make the mistake she made