This happened in the last few weeks with some friends I was hanging out with. One of the guys noticed something weird going on near by but we couldn’t figure out what was going on. Noticing that the guys were on alert made me by default move to stand behind one of them so they were between me what they were paying attention to. The guy I stood behind specifically noticed that I did that and said something approving.
In my mind, even though I feel safer having someone stronger between me and an unknown threat, I also feel bad in the sense that I’m basically indicating I would prefer for them to get the worst of whatever might be over there. I’m just curious what goes through your mind in these situation.
Edit: We are all good longtime friends and we were in bear country if you find that relevant.
Edit 2: I’m grateful that I’ve had many good men in my life that’s enabled me to grow as a person that trust and finds safety with the men in my life. I know a lot of women hate men, but that’s just not who I am as a person.
Plus as someone that’s actually been alone in the woods with men and has had bear encounters. I have always known I feel safer with men once that question started going around the internet.
Comments
If it’s my girl than that’s fine. Or my sister? Cool
But like random women? I’m not your man lol.
Just don’t grab my arms.
Good. Fewer distractions from the thing I need to pay attention to.
I’ve had women do this over the years. Always women I know, so I’m fine with it. I’m protective anyway. She just needs to stay back a couple feet to give me room to suddenly move. Or keep a hand between my shoulder blades so I know where she is.
I step to the side so that she can enjoy the view.
Good: I like to protect my friends (male or female) and I rather take a hit than them.
Bad: I feel bad because it feels like it is less bad if me, as a man, takes a hit rather than a woman. A version of “women and children first”. Along with being the equivalent of me saying “You are a woman and I am hungry, you have to cook”.
But I’m used to it.
[deleted]
I’d tell her I’m not a bear then distance myself
No guy with thinks you’re sacrificing him. Everyone has instincts. You moved behind him like someone would flinch or grab a hand automatic, not selfish.
Plus you guys are friends not strangers
It’s fine, so long as they don’t grab my arm. I’m gonna need that if shit gets serious.
Like… a man. And agree even from a safety sense, sometimes it’s better to not be in the way and let us handle it.
Yep. Do it
I definitely want to protect my friends and it makes me feel good that they trust me and feel safe around me.
If she’s not my wife or daughter I start walking hella fast.
My hubby instinctively steps between me and whatever is escalating. I’m a career soldier, barrel racer, and foot race runner, so I’m good. I have never ever said anything like that to him though. He is just protective in all the ways that matter.
I can’t remember the last time I was in a situation like that, tbh.
We both used to work for the local Sheriff’s office & still carry on with our old habits & carry concealed. We stand @ a 45 degree angle off from each other so we have a better field of view & if either of us had to touch off a round we are out of each others path of fire.
As a 5’9″ dude made of flab, I’m flattered, but you gotta know you have better options.
If my girlfriend or kids are with me and I’m seeing something I don’t like, they’ll have a hard time getting behind me before I get in front of them.
If it’s a woman I don’t know, I doubt I’m paying any attention to where she is.
If I can help, I’m helping. Had a younger girl at a bar come and grab me and another guy, ducking in-between us because some guy wouldn’t leave her alone. I knew her from being there, knew her boyfriend at the time too, and was happy to help out.
It’s fine. If it’s someone I know especially.
If you want me to tank you better have a good ranged attack or healing spells.
I don’t care if you’re a guy or a girl as long as you are a friend and if we/you are in a potentially dangerous situation and feel safer standing behind me by all means make your self safe.
Strangers is really a by situation thing.
It’d depend on the nature of the threat. If it’s some ruckus she caused by being a bitch to someone and wants me to fight for her then hell no, but otherwise I have no problems with it.
Fine especially if it’s family, a gf, friend, etc., but also a stranger especially if they have children with them or they look concerned.
If it’s a crazy man, I cannot expect a woman get in front of me to protect me unless it’s Cris Cyborg. Luckily, I am not a feminist and do not believe we are equal across the board, physicality included.
Therefore, the deal we make is—I am going to stand between you and the threat. But should the potential threat become an actual threat, you will not impede my ability to defend us; do not scream in my ear, do not get in between me and the threat, do keep back, do call 911, do help once I’ve brought the threat down and he can no longer hit you.
You’d think this would be common sense but the amount of videos on YouTube where a gf holds her man back/restricts his arms just so her bf gets clocked is frightening. And almost always the women are just screaming.
Anyway thankfully I’ve only been in this position a handful of times and the threats did not proceed to want to fight.
Uncomfortable
Flattered but I’m hopeful she’ll throw down if shit goes south. If I tag them in they better at least call the cops.
It’s what should happen. Strong people should protect people who need it.
However if that woman caused the trouble she’s on her own.
Kind of like when a woman moves to sit next to you on the bus so that the weirdo leaves her alone.
“I am the hero today. The chosen one”
Ma’am that’s what we are here for. We fantasize about the day we get to face down a bear in order to save others, Valhalla awaits.
I push her to front to me. Equal rights mean equal fights.
S/
I would prefer she did something more useful like cover my six.
Doesn’t really matter. If I’m in real danger, I’ll probably still outrun her and let her deal with it.
Usually like it but don’t do it with the intention of causing trouble or of exaggerating how dangerous someone is to get them ostracized as a method of social politics.
Many/most men are wired to be the hero/protector. This is likely fulfilling a need of his on some emotional level.
It’s fine just please don’t try to hold me especially when shit gets physical with another man lol you’ll help him fuck me up
For a stranger? Probably not. Maybe if I am feeling particularly chivalrous and want to be a hero that day. But I will not become a meat wall if she 1) Touches me. 2) Screams. 3) Freezes and doesn’t get some distance.
I’m a giant of a man so it comes with the territory 🤷🏿♂️
For me I wouldn’t mind, but it really depends on the situation, if it’s beef between 2 women and one tries using me as a shield then I’m moving because I don’t want to go to jail for defending myself self, also if the women started the fight by being a bitch then I have no problem letting her lear consequences, in not getting into a fight because someone didn’t want to keep there mouths closed.
It’s really going to depend on circumstances. There’s kind of a priority list. My wife is at the top of the list. Then my female friends and family members. Then my wife’s friends. Then strangers. It’s about proximity to me since I’m the one fending off the danger.
I’m less inclined to be a barrier for a stranger, but I don’t really mind if someone does it in a scenario where the danger levels are reasonable. My concern these days is more about risk management. The priority is to keep my wife secure. Dying, going to jail, or even just fighting on behalf of a stranger runs opposite of that goal. Respectfully, most women could not fill in the gaps that would be left for the women in my life if something happened to me. And they would feel no obligation to even try despite me potentially saving their life. So nowadays, I’m more selective about when I am willing to be the barrier for danger for women I don’t know
I think it is natural. Men evolved a sense of being the protector, and women, the protected. And that’s how our societies worked for many many thousands of years. It’s deeply innate.
But modern society tries to demonise a lot of those basic human instincts, and I think that is sad.
I am NOT advocating that we go back to our tribal roots, but I just don’t think there is anything wrong with acknowledging what made us us, and that it is still part of us. Traditional gender roles, while often needlessly restrictive in modern society, didn’t come from nowhere.
The problem I would have with it is if the woman was a hypocrite, saying things like “men are useless,” and “women can do anything men can do,” while standing behind a man when the shit goes down, or when there’s a big spider in the bath or a strange noise downstairs.
You did exactly right. I was in a bar a long time ago and these two guys are arguing and getting intense. I move to stand between them and some woman who was oblivious to what was going on until they started throwing punches about 10 feet away. Meanwhile the bouncer shoves both of them right out the door. It was smooth and I still am like wow, cool. That woman looks at me and says Did you just move in-between me and them? Sigh, yes my wife, I did. She says we’ll you are getting so lucky tonight when we get home. lol
Only for my family. If you aren’t a blood relative and try to make me your meat shield, I very well may reverse uno and move you in front of me. Call the bears sweety.
Yeah i am fine with it. You need to be able to run or call 911 if I get incapacitated. Its generations of evolutionary behavior that wr can’t overirde.
I’m fine with whoever doing that. just, for the love of god, don’t grab or lean on me. I need to be able to move.
If she gets behind me, there’s a reason. Whatever that reason is, now has to go through me to get to her. I’m nowhere near the biggest or the baddest, but I don’t need to be.
I teach my girlfriends to retreat if able. I will be between the threat and her. I will try to deescalate and backup until I can’t. If she was the cause of the fight such as a drunk political conversation at a bar or spitting on an ex we will have a long conversation. Its quote possible that would be the end of the relationship.
Ladies never put your man in danger. We know what its like to fight. Most of us jnow someone with serious injuries or that has been jumped by a bunch of cowards. There really are few fare fights anymore.
Unless she’s dragging me into an altercation that she started, I probably wouldn’t mind. My boyfriend might though 🫤
Seriously though, I’d always prefer to back away from a fight. Sure, man, I bumped you and spilled your beer, I’ll buy the next round, I’m sorry. Whatever, call me a f•ggot, I don’t give a shit about insults.
Because when there’s a gun in your waistband, the onus to be the bigger man and walk away is always on you. If – god forbid – I ever face a jury having shot somebody, I want to be able to say I made every effort to end things otherwise.
You can carry an ego or a handgun, but you have to choose.
Depends on the situation. I went to a concert years ago and this guy was grinding on this girl and she looked uncomfortable. I asked if she was okay and she didn’t answer. I got between them. He hit the back of my head and I decked him.
Say a girl is gets mad and punches a dude, don’t get behind me. I’ll break up the fight is the best you get
Thats what I tell my wife to do. And don’t grab me. Not by the arm. Don’t hang on my shirt. Just pay attention to what I say and do. But I’m old fashioned.
If a more modern woman wants to step up I’ll stand behind her and wait for instructions.
My wife, mother, daughters… all have a place behind me in times of concern. I don’t mind anyone else doing it as long as mine are first. A lot of modern feminists will rationalize this behavior, but it’s natural for a reason. Nothing to be ashamed of and most men would prefer it this way. Anyone who wouldn’t, I’d have difficulty putting in that category.
I’m a big target. I could hide a few people behind me. I’m going to protect myself, and if in doing so I happen to protect others, that’s great.
Why doesn’t she just get the bear to do it instead?
If the advantages and privileges of chivalry are to be deemed sexist or bigoted, and must therefore be done away with, then so too must the responsibilities.
If I choose to act, and put myself in harm’s way, that’s one thing. If you’re going to foist that responsibility on me, and put me in harm’s way for your benefit and to my detriment e.g. getting stabbed, shot, murdered, or imprisoned, solely because I’m a man, and you’re a woman, no thanks.
What annoys me is the question is never one of, “would you place your body in front of a weaker man and reap the whirlwind?”. It isn’t about protecting the weak. It’s purely about protecting women solely and only because they’re women. What are their social responsibilities and obligations to random men again? Nothing at all? Right.
Can’t eat your cake, and have it, too. Either we’re equal, or we aren’t.
That is exactly what it signals. Be my meat shield. This small behavior is a female privilege and men are often socialized to be that meat shield, finding some masculine validation in your expression of needing them.
It’s an archaic gender role, a burden and a source of moral outrage when men don’t accept the role you just put them in. One that can invite ridicule, criticism and ostracization to reinforce.
I will not risk grievous bodily harm for anyone who wouldn’t do so for me. It’s 2025, men are not sacrifices for women’s safety but women definitely won’t be the ones to change that.
Is she going to stab me in the back or what?
I’m at peace with this. I don’t ever go out looking for trouble, but if it finds me I’ll ring the bell if I have to.
Depends on the situation, if it’s family, friends, or girlfriend/wife I’d always stand in front of her. A stranger? Maybe, but first I need to know the situation before I possibly die for someone that doesn’t know my name
It’s natural
I feel like I’d prefer her to stand in front of me instead
Single me without children? Sure, I’ll stand up for anybody. I always have. But married me with children? That’s different. Unless it’s my own family, I can’t use myself, or let someone else use me as a human shield. That wouldn’t be honoring the commitment I made to my wife and children. I was raised to protect those who are weaker, and I’ve lived that way my whole life. But once marriage and kids are involved, my responsibility is to protect my family, whether they’re physically with me or not and protecting them means doing what it takes to make it home to them in one piece. So unless it’s a child or a pregnant woman, no haps and my instinct in any sketchy situation is simple—we need to leave immediately. I’m not sticking around to see if things are safe or not. If you’re an adult, you can come with me or stay and deal with it. If it’s a child, they’re not getting a choice—I’m taking them to safety, no debate. Once they’re safe, I’ll contact the authorities and let them handle the rest.
That’s fine by me as long as you’re okay with potentially getting trampled when I shit myself and flee right though you in abject terror…
Makes me feel like she trusts me and thinks me strong or strong enough.
But at the same time, I’m not your meat shield.
I don’t think I have any personal obligation to move in front, and I can’t begrudge someone for feeling scared and trying to hide.
That being said, I would likely resent someone trying to use me as a shield (or demanding I act as one) that puts me in danger I wouldn’t otherwise be in.
In most situations, men will do this instinctually.
For 99% of the unknown threats it doesnt matter if you have a few percent more muscle on average.
Had it like a decade ago, woman at work on a night out always starting shizz. Then when it kicked off she hides behind me in the hope I would sort it out. No thanks. I moved to the side. You start something, you finish it.
That woman has always been a cow to me. she got her arse kicked by a bigger woman that night.
If you were a “destroy the patriarchy” or we’re all equal kinda woman then you proved yourself to be a hypocrite.
If you believe men and women have roles in a functional society then you were being consistent.
The question is:
What was your opinion, attitude and actions before that day?
I have always said to my wife: if there’s danger, get the kids away and leave me to deal with it.
You could get the attention of the bartender and let them make the call of what the establishment’s next step is Then it doesn’t involve you
I’d ask her if she’s independent/feminist, if yes then I’d push her in front of the angry bear because I believe in equality.
Happy she removes herself as a variable. I don’t find myself with women that start these types of situations so I rather they exit quietly and go call someone.
It sounds like you don’t view men and women as 100% equal in all respects. That’s unfortunate and sexist.
I’ve only ever encountered this after a woman’s done something egregious and absolutely instigated the issue.
Women are not subjected to dangers as every bloke knows they’re getting jumped if they assault a woman in public.
In my personal experience the bloke usually tries to difuse the situation by calling down the woman.
Blokes will just punch on and people move out of the way.
You did what millions of years of evolution has taught us to do. Just like the men alerted and moved to defend, you moved to be defended—which fit with your friend’s frame of reference. Whether a conscious decision or not, still the right thing to do for both of you. And both probably felt good about it. Funny how that works.
Ok bro, sure you’re a woman
She’s strong and independent. Gotta pull her back up front. Confront those demons 🤣. I’m gonna go make myself a sandwich.
When I was around 11 years old, my little sister and I were walking home from the bus stop. A 1 minute walk from a bus stop that was visible from my home. It was a rare day in that my mother couldn’t be home to watch us walk back, and in that minute a man and a woman pulled up alongside us in a green chevy. They began offering us candy, stranger-danger lessons took over and as they got more persistent I noticed that my little sister had moved to hide behind me. They eventually drove off, before returning to stalk which house we were walking to.
I was just a kid, but looking back I feel relief that I was still able to protect my sister so that she didn’t have to confront the monsters. As much as I wish that situation never happened, it means a lot to me that my sister felt safe hiding behind me.
I feel very protective over the women in my family and my friends, but I wouldn’t do the same for somebody that I don’t know. I’m not going to risk my life, or even a scratch, for someone that 99% doesn’t view me as a human being.
Walking away better
As long as she didn’t cause the danger & is not trying to force me into a dangerous situation, not an issue
Uncomfortable, I respond by moving to a flanking position, with cover if possible.
This whole post is weird..
I dont know if it’s the way i was raised. But im a big guy, 20st ex rugby player.
Any woman or girl that stands behind me when they are scared or in danger is absolutely fine with me.
I have a 6 year old daughter, if someone could protect her if im not there, id shake that man/person’s hand and buy them a drink to show gratitude
I dont know if it’s the genes in my family, but we have traced our bloodline back to the crusades, we come from a family of knights. So maybe it’s in the blood
In this situation? I don’t mind being a shield but unless we’re really close and I feel personally responsible for you then you should know that if a fight breaks out I will prioritize getting myself out of danger before getting you out of danger.