I personally don’t feel feminine a lot of the time unless I’m actively focusing on it and doing things to make myself feel like it and it made me wonder what types of things, if any men do to feel masculine if they struggle feeling that way at times.
What is something that makes you feel masculine/manly?
r/AskMen
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Fixing something with my hands.
Whether it’s tightening a screw, working on a car, or putting together IKEA furniture, doing something physical and useful hits deep.
Jerk off
Jiu Jitsu but it also makes you feel very very gay.
Controlling my anger, my impulse, able to show kindness, able to keep calm when someone is being stupid in front of me !
Lifting things? I don’t know, it’s not a feeling I feel very often nor one I chase at all.
Heavy ass deadlifts
Leading and looking after other people, volunteering, and sacrificing my needs for others will make me (48M) feel masculine. Participating in competitive sports also inspires those feelings in me. Improving myself. Being a good father, especially as a single dad, makes me feel quite masculine. And how my girlfriend treats me plays a role for sure.
Taking 5 shots in 10 minutes
Carrying all the groceries in one trip
Managing people. Idk, being in control feels more manly rather than working alone with my computer
When my kid tells other people that I can fix anything. While this isn’t necessarily true, it damn sure makes me feel like a man.
Opening food containers / jars that my mom or stepfather can’t.
Fixing other people cars.
Doing landscaping work with no shirt on a hot day🔥💪
No event required – a man is innately masculine.
Opening beer cans with my teeth!!!!
Leading other men
Huh…maybe I am the odd man out. Nothing comes to mind.
But then I think it is important to do what needs to be done. I can’t worry about what may or may not be considered manly. It is simply not important.
Basically anything that provokes an adrenal response. Could be the gym, or camaraderie with other guys on a team when you’re getting each other psyched up. Flirting. It’s kind of like anxiety, but more stimulating than antagonizing.
I don’t “do” anything to feel masculine, it’s just a perpetual state of mind for the most part. I suppose I may feel more masculine when building something, but I don’t actively seek to build things to elicit a feeling. Going back to the state of mind though, here’s an example: If I go get a mani/pedi, arguably a feminine thing to do, I don’t feel feminine at all because the whole experience is from a masculine perspective. Sitting in a massage chair that is effectively a throne while 1 or 2 cute women pamper my hands and feet while making small talk and jokes is very emotionally refreshing. When I compare how long and they massage my hands and feet to that of women customers, it’s generally twice as long. Add all these things together and it doesn’t exactly feel like a feminine experience even though 99.5% or more of their customers will always be women.
Eating a glass of Nutella by dipping using one pancake as an alibi “spoon” 😅
Eating ribs.
Not only do I feel like a got damn top of the food chain carnivore, but it triggers my unga bunga man brain to make a fire and draw on the walls.
Saving someone’s life.
Saving someone’s life.
I’m tall so I can reach anything.
My hairy pits and big biceps!
standing up for yourself and others
Being more emotionally regulated than the people around me. Like some other guy is starting to lose his shit because something is going wrong while I’m able to stay a bit more calm, collected and focused. I guess that feels masculine.
Chasing men😳 I still do it and I wish I didn’t. It’s very masculine energy.
Lifting heavy weights. Doing pushups and pull ups.
Knowing that I can put together anything with assembling instructions
Handing my wife the credit card and telling her to go out on a shopping day and watching her get all excited with that “admiration” eye. Makes me feel masculine to provide in that way.
Holding my toddler son’s hand as we walk and I teach him things.
Sparring / fighting in muay thai. Lifting heavy things.
Taking care of business. Meaning like literally solving problems, building something, and getting important things done that ultimately improve the lives of those around me.
Helping people in need.
DIY
Making a fire without lighter fluid.
Driving my standard car and getting the welder generator running at work today felt good.
Hooping shirtless with beer
Hmm. I can name things that fall into this category but I struggle to say I ever feel like I need to feel that way.
Heavy yard work, anything covered in grease, fixing things that need a little brute force. Giving my wife the D.
Ok, that last one I do crave quite often now that I think about it.
Fixing stuff, backing a trailer, making her forget her name in the bedroom, lifting heavy stuff. It’s not something I spend a lot of time consciously thinking about, and I don’t actively search out activities to make me “feel manly”. It just so happens I tend to feel manly when I do those things.
Taking a dump that results in our home being declared a biohazard.
Standing to pee, stroking my beard, splooging ballz deep inside the wifey, selecting “Male” on a form.
Idk, some people get their feathers ruffled saying I only do my own oil changes and drive a stick shift to feel manly. Like, bruh I’m a 5’8 145lb vegan, I don’t give a shit about feeling “manly”
Lifting shit
Playing drums, lifting stuff, holding doors open, staying cool under pressure.
Being handy. The most satisfying thing is fixing something or making it better.
Doing the thing that needs to be done. Pulling the car around in the pouring rain. Opening the stuck jar. Basically, just being a good dude for others.
Anything to do with cars or emergencies.
Watching the life drain from another man’s eyes
The right woman. I’ve felt it. Somehow, this chick got me feeling (only way to describe) taller, stronger, and the most fearless I’ve ever felt. Sober! Like I could meet any challenge/ conflict with a calm smile. I remember getting home that one night, looking in the mirror and thinking, who/what the fuck was that!? It was ME. But it ME with Stayin’ Alive playing in my soul. Unironicly. Love is a hell of a drug. Took me years to realize that’s what it was. But that’s me.
Taking out the trash.
Working out, banging my gf, teaching my son, being resilient, chasing my goals
Working out
Lifting heavy things.
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Picking the exact correct socket just by looking at the bolt
-A long hard shirtless run on a hot summer day.
-The way I feel and look after working out.
-Taking my time shaving/trimming my face after a shower
-Getting a haircut at the barber… and looking sharp afterwards.
-Cooking… shirtless.
-Wearing a pair comfy gray or black sweatpants
-Jerking off lol
Working out, I’ve never been a physically active person but there’s something that just feels right when I do
Strolling through a dewy meadow & raspberry scones.
Drilling steel with my mag base drill in my garage, and when I add the cutting oil it makes a huge cloud of smoke as I’m operating it.
Not giving a crap what is or isn’t supposed to make me feel masculine…. makes me feel masculine. 😉
Badly wanting to do something but choosing not to do it
so many things, so casually. like using the leaf blower, carrying all the pool stuff of the whole family in one go, simply lifting family members of all sizes into places or out of the way (playfully) sometimes, building anything out of wood, no matter how crappy it is, fixing things around the house.
There are niche things to, using the nail gun or the impact driver, whipping out a screw driver bit that’s just really rare and most people didn’t even know it exists, but it fits that ’90s german made machine just right.
But lets be real, the impact driver is by far the manliest thing I own I believe. Now that I think about it, if I would want to feel manly, I would just go drive some screws into a 2×4 with it.
Making her finish the same time as me.
Cleaning our entire house when it needs to be done ✔️ without anything said …just done ✔️
Carrying stuff usually. Moving heavy furniture, anything strength related, feels like the most contrast between myself and my SO (f).
Maybe protection too, we had a question here recently about how that works and my answer was it was automatic. When that instinct kicks in that’s a pretty masculine feeling too.
Sometimes doing hard/dirty jobs, making hard decisions.
Times when I don’t feel masculine, well I’m the main cook of the household I work from home and my SO works in a regular job. So timing makes it simple for me to cook and for her to come home to a meal I’ve cooked. I happen to also really like cooking – a lot.
Nothing happens that makes me feel less masculine for doing it, until our situation is explained to other people I do sometimes wonder how it’s perceived. Working from home too feels less masculine to me now that I think about it.
I actually don’t care tho lol, I’m doing a roast chicken tonight and it’s going to be amazing.
Going to my job where I wrestle with truck and van tires and replace dead batteries every day.
A woman sleeping with her head on my chest. Im a skinny guy so ik theres not much there for comfort but they still do it lol
Stepping up and helping someone or doing something that needs to be done when no one else will. I’ve willfully put myself through a lot of shit, because of it. Someone even asked me one time, “Why do you put yourself through all that?” And my response was “Because no one else is willing to do it.” Like, there is a lot of men who are too prideful, as if they are above doing certain things. It’s a bit annoying but also kind of funny, especially if they alway posturing up about what a MAN they are, but refuse to do something that is actually THEIR responsibility. I silent laugh, thinking haha… pathetic as I do the thing they were too much of a prideful coward to do.
My daughters feeling safe when I’m around
My thick skinned feet and rugged hands that are anything but feminine.
Playing with the kids without any of them getting hurt.
Men and women play with kids in different way but a man’s way tends to be more active. And have you seen the reflexes of on some fathers. Those are real dads and real men. Protecting.
Combat sports, specifically Muay Thai.
Sparring a fully grown man makes me feel pretty manly, in my opinion.
Laughing uncontrollably
Most of the stuff people are replying with just makes me feel like an adult.
Very rarely felt ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ in my life, and I never don’t find it weird how much people’s brains seem to crave belonging to these categories. I’m regularly having to reassure the woman I’m seeing that she’s feminine, as she keeps doubting herself and getting distressed over it.
I think a lot of it stems from a more hierarchical/status-driven mindset. If you aren’t comparing yourself to other people constantly, the concepts don’t mean much.
Rolled up sleeves
Taking personal responsibility for my actions
I stop believing that when masculinity is used as a tool to control you.
When my girl grabs my arm and holds it while we’re walking together
That shit catapults my brain into protector mode. The thought is like “oh yea, I’m supposed to be her protector” then I quickly lock in
Being better than my dad at pretty much everything besides his job.
Fixing stuff, especially difficult things that would cost $1k for a contractor / mechanic. Building stuff like shed, remodel project.
A large sword! And slaying dragons with it.
for me, it’s the voice and your character. i used to be a gay flamboyant and realized im lowkey obnoxious with it. (no internal homophobia, i like my sissies and loud flamboyants, just not for me). started to feel confident after that and got comfortable with my skin.
there are also times i let the flamboyance out when im too happy, and i love that for myself.
Saying “it is what it is” and moving on
working on my goals,
marking “done” on the list i have.
i am 20.
like, when i scored way more good then i used to, to get in a good clg.
then learning things from the internet, building projects, from some months i am doing this paid internship, that really builds my resume.
i will really feel masculine doing this,
when i will get a good job,
when i will make lots of money,
when i will buy home,
when i will buy my fav car,
when my parents were happy, seeing me becoming the batter men…
My penis
Doggy
Morning wood. I’m getting older.
A strong woman by my side
Carrying something very heavy
barbecue.
Probably the most masculine feeling I’ve experienced was during sex where my partner at the time actively wanted me to breed her and she wanted to go multiple rounds with me finishing inside of her.
Apparently this was more hit or miss for whether this made her feel feminine, though, so your mileage may vary on whether having breeding kink sex that results in a creampie would help.
Outside of sexual matters, the feeling after a good gym session focusing on strength training always felt pretty manly.
Using my grandfather’s straight razor grooming kit. I was always so thankful he taught me. It relaxes me, makes me reconnect with myself. Bonus…my wife can’t keep her hands off me when she watches me shave that way.
Being made to feel like I’m attractive.
It’s very rare these days unfortunately… but any time wife shows any sign of genuine attraction to me, I feel like Arne.
Opening a jar that my girlfriend cannot manage to crack. I suspect she does it sometimes just to make me feel good and quite frankly, I appreciate her even more for that 💪
I dunno man, I overheard my kids talking about homelessness, and kid 2 said she was glad that would never happen to her, and kid three said, well it could. Then they agreed that, yeah maybe, but only after they’re adults and move out, cause they have Dad.
Made me feel like a whole ass man for sure.
As dumb as it sounds, but the feeling of being needed. You need some power to carry things, I’m in, you need something to be repaired, I’m in, you need a good massage, I’m in.
Taking the bin out.
Wearing a pink feather boa. You would be surprised at how effective of a weapon a feather boa can be. You can throw the feathers in an enemies eyes to blind them, then strangle them out with it.
I make things in my shop out of wood. Real Ron Swanson vibes here.