I’m just turning 20 and I’m taking this phase of life seriously.
I’m not asking for generic motivational quotes — I’m genuinely trying to avoid the biggest traps and build a strong foundation (career, mindset, purpose, relationships, etc.).
Specifically, I’d love to hear about:
• Habits you regret not building earlier
• Mistakes you wish you had avoided
• Life skills or mindsets you wish someone had drilled into you
• How to avoid wasting time or chasing the wrong things
• Anything you think 99% of guys in their 20s are blind to
I know everyone’s journey is different, but your insights could seriously help someone trying to do things right from the beginning.
Thank you in advance for your honesty and time 🙏
Comments
If I could go back 5 years here what I would do from then to now. I would workout hardcore and get my body into perfect shape by the time my mid 20s come. I dieted and tried to work out at gyms but always felt bullied awkward or uncomfortable and couldn’t afford them anyway. I would just work out at home religiously if I could. I would also put 5 dollars a week into my savings account. Just so I have safety money for emergencies and trips or anything I wanted instead of just never having any money. I would also start working at one job and not leave to climb their ladder and make more money by the time I’m 25. College and school was something I had to pay for myself and wasn’t really worth it for me so I just would work my ass off
I wish I hadn’t thought about life like a game you can win or lose. It doesn’t work like that.
The only 2 things I know to be true at 40:
It goes fast.
If you learned your lesson, you didn’t waste your time.
Money
Health
Experiences
Start your bedrock savings foundation. Compound interest will make life lovely later on.
Work out the bare minimum you need to do every week to stay healthy. Update it every year. Never deviate, never miss, never excuse 1 day off. You will regret it once you hit 40 if you dont maintain your fitness ( i dont mean bodybuild or run marathons, i mean do 10 pushups, walk 5kms, run after a kid, etc)
Experiences, try something new, be open to alternatives, travel, eat weird, paint, do singing lessons, read, podcast, audio books. Expand your horizons.
Building self confidence in myself and focusing on my purpose. Career, fitness, social skills Etc. . I’m doing that now in my early 30s but it’s not the same as doing it when you’re 20. Also, don’t make women your main priority. As you better yourself and improve in life, they’ll find you because they will take notice of your progress, so don’t worry about that part. Good luck to you
Save money. Literally any amount, but ideally as much as you can without being a detriment to yourself. Don’t wait, even a few bucks here or there can help you net a home down the road. Time flies and it sucks, start now. I deeply regret not saving and living by credit, it took a long time to fix.
Live within your means, but reward yourself once or twice a year. Focus on saving, but don’t forget to pay yourself for your hard work. Everyone deserves a reward.
Know when to quit a job. If you don’t fit the culture or don’t get along with leadership, look elsewhere. Ensure you have another job lined up before quitting, and always quit professionally and politely if you plan on using the job on your resume (2wks notice). Don’t throw a fit or spread gossip, leave with your dignity. Wasting time at a job that you don’t gel with hurts your mental health more than you’d think, even if the pay is good.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings. You are your strongest ally, so be kind to yourself. It’s very easy to think about a fuck up or a time you were a piece of shit – but move on. Internalize why you didn’t like what you did or how you behaved, try to be better next time, then let it go. Life is short, things happen.
I’m going to get vulgar and real because I can tell this a real question for you. I’m going to keep it broad because we probably live on different sides of the Earth and belong in different classes.
Two traps.
Number one.
Don’t fall in love until you feel established as a man (steady income & your own place). I convinced myself in my early 20s love was for suckers and so was monogamy.
Until I met someone with a great sense of humor, adventurous, and the wettest pussy. They always seem to come at the right time. But love and commitment blinds even the best men. and have been many mens downfall.
I’m closing my 20s here soon and it took me roughly 1/3 of them to completely get over a person. And I look back and think, I could’ve been operating at my best in other relationships if I wasn’t deeply heartbroken. And that person wasn’t worth it in the slightest.
Number two.
Your friends will not always be your friends. And your family will let you down in new ways and maybe even harder than before. It gets rocky in your 20s. Living in the “real world” is daunting. And drugs are offered everywhere. Limit drug use to a weekend or monthly thing. And if you can’t. Don’t fucking do them. I wish I didn’t over extend myself in certain friendships or fall into expectation. No one is coming to save you and respect from others is built in drops and lost in buckets. All that truly matters is this. If you can look yourself in the mirror every birthday in your 20s and feel confident. And you’re a person you respect. You’re doing just fine.
I should have more fun!!!
I wish I would’ve had more discipline.
Invest in the stock market, buy some Bitcoin too. Never sell until you’re mid or late 50’s. Buy and hold
Oh yeah, don’t drink too much. Have fun but don’t let it become a habit
I wish I didn’t let the news about Robinhood being scumbags deter me from getting into the stock market
Saving money and my health. I was pretty unhealthy in my mid 20s, went from 273 lbs down to 190, went to the gym 3-4 times a week, cycled EVERYWHERE, walked every day and did nightly 1-2 mile jogs.
Until i got my driving license and slowly but surely i went from “yeah let’s grab the bike to town” to “let’s grab the car to town” and within a year i had gained 40 lbs back, and it only got worse, and then i was in my late 20s and i was about 320 lbs and i tried losing weight again which i couldn’t do. And now i’m 34, and while at my heaviest 2 years ago i was 385 i’m now still 360 but working on it again..
And the saving money bit? Everything i had went to my driving license and first car, then it went to my first place and i could hardly keep up with bills.
But now i’m in my mid 30s and i finally seem to have my grip back. I’ve been working out every day again, got a stationary bike. Been eating better/healthier. While i still drive my car to places a lot i do also use the stationary bike at least 30 minutes a day. And financially? While i’m definitely not where i want to be i’m at least debt free and i can save a few bucks here and there.
slowly but steady wins the race, but i keep coming back to the “what ifs”
Take the risk. Build the business. You have literally nothing to lose.
From the outside, I have it made. Multiple six figure career, 2 homes, fancy cars, hot wife, awesome kids.
However, there’s always the “if only”. I KNOW if I would have put the effort into creating something of my own, instead of being an intrapreneur, I could have been so much better off than seeing the owners I’ve worked for become so successful.
It depends on you, though. If you don’t want 16 hour days and years of insane stress, then get in with a good company, work hard, invest, eat well, lift weights, be honest, and get to my level.
Cardio
Stay in college (if u in college)
Don’t spend money, even if you’re making enough to spare. Live small, make sure you have a good rainy day fund
If u have any interest in a high investment skill, like learning a musical instrument, start now, def not too late
Cherish your relationships and try to genuinely know the people in your life. Be genuinely curious about them, this can take discipline if it’s not natural. Active listening, don’t just think about the next thing you’re gonna say in a convo. Career and success is not everything and as you grow older, you’ll see that. What really lasts are relationships
Making money 100% the hoes and loves come but go focus on the money
Not being depressed at every transitional milestone of my life so I ended up with a career I enjoyed and a life I was actually happy with.
Health: Physical, Mental and Financial.
HYGINE.
Buying BTC lol
But for real, probably paying more attention in the foundational engineering classes, I have a general understanding now (27), but still need to brush on stuff from time to time.
Investing in Bitcoin.
Wouldn’t have had to work over 5 years if i had lol
Thinking ahead, when I was 20, I was a punk kid, thinking the world was going to end soon, didn’t give two fucks.
I should have been in college making something of myself.
Im self made now, im doing well, but I wasted so many years poor or homeless when I didn’t need to be.
Personally i wish i did 4 years in the military. I was doing nothing after 18 and i at least could have done that. After that if i could go back in time with what i know now, forget about the girl you knew in high school, even if she still talks to you. Focus on you and get rid of distractions. Stay fit and healthy. Either get certified in something or get a good job. There are plenty of Federal jobs that dont require anything, including a degree.
Its smart to get a job that allows you to focus on retirement. I work for the Federal government and i fully intend to retire at the age of 50, just 20 more years. Jobs that offer pensions are few though, usually only government jobs nowadays have a pension. On top of that, always at the very least match any employers 401k match. If you don’t want to 100% focus on their investment system, go get your own. Vanguard is something i see a lot of people use. I use the one the Feds run. Put as much money into that as you can afford. Its deposit and forget, very little effort from your side.
One goal is to try to get 1-2 million dollars into your 401k equivalent account. Whether you use a company like vanguard or your employers. I was putting in 16% of my paycheck into my account every check, plus the Feds 5% match. So basically roughly 21% of my pay is going into my investment. As i said, i have no desire to work longer than 50. When i hit 50 ill be pulling from my TSP, my pension and also my early social security.
You dont HAVE to go to college to be successful, but there are advantages to going if you go with a purpose. That is where the military is nice, it will help pay. So very little debt after.
Dont buy a fancy new car that you will spend 3-7 years making payments on. That’s just a waste of money. If you can get a good, used car, do that.
Learn to cook, dont be lazy and eat out everyday.
If you can, get a roommate to reduce costs for awhile. It can be hard if you dont get a good match, but if you do its a ton of fun and allows you to do more.
Have fun, but always think about the end game. What your goals are. Go on adventures and dont be afraid of risk. Just dont be stupid. Always try to invest in your future though.
Learning about law school admissions. I’d have been better off with a school that had a strict 4-point system, rather than one that used a +/- system. I got far more A-‘s than B+’s, so going to an undergrad with that system made my GPA look like I did worse.
I also went to the most expensive public school in the state, which gave me literally no advantage when applying.
Go on tour. I didn’t start actually working on a career until my mid 30s and should’ve spent my twenties trying to do that crazy thing (professional musician) rather than worrying about my trying to figure out what I was gonna do in the future. I’m good now financially but none of that would be any different had I just went for it and there’s always a small chance I’d still be a professional musician. Don’t waste your twenties doing nothing but if the choice is between following a dream or being responsible follow the dream.
Investing
Invest. Learn market
Just putting away $50 a week. Eventually get it $100 when you can afford it.
Butt stuff…. like squats
I would personally buy shares as regularly as you can afford, even if it’s only $20 worth, by the time you are 40 it will be worth a lot. It gives you a lot of freedom. Stick to mainly blue chip ones
Monogamous relationships. I have had 2 long relationships what monogamy was the unspoken default. Over time, I wish we could open up the relationship or to work on an active sexlife and trying new things. Those discussions are much harder when in a longer (unspoken) vanilla and monogamous relationship. Keep talking, keep your options open and be honest…
Saving money and staying fit
College and saving money. I failed so many classes in college because I got lazy and wouldn’t put in the work.
Going to school and getting a career started
Gym, better friends and lifestyle
Building and maintaining friendships. I lost touch with my high-school friends around this time and haven’t really made any new ones.
Working out. To build confidence and overall health.
Pitting myself out there romantically.