I (21M) think my uncle (54M) is ruining my relationship with my parents

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any spelling or grammatical mistakes.

TLDR: I’ve lived with my abusive uncle for years he mocks me, makes me clean after him, and invades my space. My parents ignore everything, even when I beg for help. This has severely affected my mental health and studies.
I plan to move out after this semester, but I depend on my parents financially for now.

TW: for trauma mention, nothing too specific

Since I was 2 years old, I have lived with my uncle, my mom’s brother (54M) in my parent’s house (52F and 54M). My uncle has never paid rent, cleaned the house, or helped with the bills. He doesn’t have a girlfriend/wife or kids.

We don’t live near my grandparents because my parents moved to another state (an 18-hour drive away), and when they bought a house in this state, my uncle wanted to come live with them. Both of my grandparents are dealing with some health issues, but my uncle constantly refuses to visit his own parents and prefers that my mom pays for their healthcare.

I’ve had to get used to him constantly mocking me, treating me like a servant, making me wash his dishes and bring him beer so he can watch sports. He yells at me just because I need to pass between him and the TV, calling me useless, stupid, and lazy.

I’ve had to get used to his “jokes” about my weight, about what I eat and calling me a girl (I’m a skinny short guy), just because he thinks it’s funny. His presence has recently made me see my parents from a different perspective.

When I was 12, they told me that all of his dirty dishes had to be cleaned by either me or my sister (29F) and If we didn’t clean them, my parents would do it but never my uncle. I hate the fact that when he cooks, he never cleans the air fryer, and it ends up full of oil. We are the ones who have to clean that too. Because apparently he is incapable of clean the dishes by himself because if I tell him that he should do it he gets mad, and he starts screaming and swearing at me.

Lately, for some reason, he seems to have decided to target me specifically. He talks badly about me behind my back to my mom, telling her “how disgusting I am” and claiming that he’s missing his underwear, shampoo, and razors ? even though we don’t even share a bathroom. I have my own individual bathroom. Now he’s accusing me of stealing his underwear because “it hasn’t shown up in a while,” and he calls me a disgusting brat who doesn’t respect anyone in this house. He acts like I’m the only person here who would go looking for his underwear, which honestly makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Because of a traumatic experience in my adolescence, I have a complicated relationship with body hygiene (ocd about constantly being clean and not feeling dirty) and my body in general. I’m also somewhat afraid of men. Despite knowing this, my uncle is calling me disgusting for “stealing” his underwear and accuses me of lying, “exposing” me in front of my parents and my sister. And when I had enough I told him that it wasn’t me, that I find it disgusting and he should just stop making up lies. And obviously, he started to scream at me with insults and trying to make me feel bad.

Ironically, he uses my bathroom every day and leaves it with stains, a strong smell of urine, and just dirty in general. When I come back from college, it always smells disgusting even if I cleaned it in the morning before going to class. The problem is that when my mom confronts me about the smell and the mess, she always ends up blaming me, saying that I should be the one cleaning up after my uncle when he uses my bathroom.

This situation has affected me deeply. I’ve become physically ill, I’m constantly nauseous, I suffer from constant panic attacks, cry over small things, become overly sensitive, had self destructive thoughts, and experienced selective mutism because the stress is just getting to me. I don’t think I can give my best at college if I’m crying every day because of his presence because I’m being forced to wash his dishes, my own bathroom because of him, telling me that I’m useless while he just watches sports and drinks alcohol all day, doing nothing, yelling at me, making fun of my weight, the food that I eat and when I eat.

The worst part is, I’ve been complaining to my parents about this since I was 14. I’ve begged them to say something, just anything because I just want to be left alone. But they ignore me. When I tell them my uncle has been mocking me for weeks, they only say they’ll “talk to him,” and the next day he ends up laughing in my face.

Today, I had an argument with my mom because my uncle came home from his work, and she wanted me to clean his dishes. I told her I didn’t have time because I had to study and clean my own room and bathroom and I was so stressed about college and final exams. I explained that my uncle was literally sitting there at that moment, drinking beer and watching TV. All she said was, “okay, just wash your own dishes, I’ll do the rest.” Then she ignored me when I asked her something, looking angry, and gave me a look like she wanted me out of the house.

I won’t be able to leave my house until I finish this semester of university. After that, I can start considering the idea of moving out of the state and living with my girlfriend or my best friend. But I need to plan it carefully because I don’t have financial stability right now because I completely depend on my parents. If it were up to me, I would work and study at the same time, but my mental state has never allowed it. I’ve only ever been able to do one thing at a time.

I’m really lost, I really don’t know what to do, I feel like a stranger in this house, like I don’t even feel like I belong here in the first place. Please if you have any advice I will read it, and thank you if you reached to this part.