I have had a pet free house for over 30 years and have never allowed anyone to bring their pets when they come to stay for a few days (it’s not an allergy thing; it’s just a matter of me not liking pets on furniture and stuff like that). For the first time ever, I recently allowed visitors to bring their shitzu along on a 5 day visit to my place. These visitors have been to my place many times over the year,s so they appreciated me allowing them to bring their fur baby. On one day, I watched Visitor #1 feed the dog off a paper plate. No biggie and I did not say anything. The next day, I watched Visitor #2 feed the dog off a plate. I asked Visitor #2 to not do that again (it is an “ick” factor for me). Two days later day, I walked in to the dining room to see Visitor #3 (who had not heard me tell Visitor #2 to not feed the dog off a plate) feed the dog directly off a fork. I forcefully said, “what the hell are you doing?” Visitor #3 told me I was being uptight and that I need to relax. Clearly, I am going back to the “no pet policy” for my own peace of mind. But was I wrong to reprimand the visitors? AITA?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
I have had a pet free house for over 30 years and have never allowed anyone to bring their pets when they come to stay for a few days (it’s not an allergy thing; it’s just a matter of me not liking pets on furniture and stuff like that). For the first time ever, I recently allowed visitors to bring their shitzu along on a 5 day visit to my place. These visitors have been to my place many times over the year,s so they appreciated me allowing them to bring their fur baby. On one day, I watched Visitor #1 feed the dog off a paper plate. No biggie and I did not say anything. The next day, I watched Visitor #2 feed the dog off a plate. I asked Visitor #2 to not do that again (it is an “ick” factor for me). Two days later day, I walked in to the dining room to see Visitor #3 (who had not heard me tell Visitor #2 to not feed the dog off a plate) feed the dog directly off a fork. I forcefully said, “what the hell are you doing?” Visitor #3 told me I was being uptight and that I need to relax. Clearly, I am going back to the “no pet policy” for my own peace of mind. But was I wrong to reprimand the visitors? AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Did I overreact to people feeding the dog? 2. I might have overreacted
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. It’s your home, your rules. Letting the dog in was already a big compromise feeding it off your plates and forks is just disrespectful.
NTA. You were doing them a favor, and they disrespected your space. Feeding a dog with your fork isn’t cute – it’s gross.
NTA. I would not feed my own dog off my dishes in my own home. My pup is family, but there are limits.
NTA I’m a dog person and I don’t feed animals off my plate or fork. I might toss a little scrap, hand it over, or put it in their food bowl. Otherwise yuck.
NTA
Your house, your rules. Humans tend to bring special plates for their human babies so they are definitely able to do so for their “fur babies“.
NTA. What kind of guest tells their host, who’s presumably putting them up for free, that they’re uptight and need to relax? Even if you think it, keep it to yourself and follow the rules of the household, or book a hotel.
NTA They should have known better, especially if they know your position on animals already. You were doing them a favor but sounds like they’ll learn their lesson
NTA I’m a pet owner with both dogs and cats. All animals have their own dishes and do not eat off of dishes for humans. I’d be upset if people were feeding animals on dishes that I use. You might have been a little calmer in your response to Visitor 3 who probably feel like you ambushed them for something they didn’t consider wrong. Maybe apologize for that bit.
Wait, I’m confused. Did visitor number 3 hear you say not to feed the dog off the plate or not? If V3 didn’t know that was your rule, then you overreacted. If they knew, then they were rude and disrespectful to you and your home.
NAH , you had a tad of a miscommunication and maybe neither of you were very impolite about it. You should not “reprimand” other adults who are your guests, I guess, but making your wishes known about how your property is used is of course just fine.
That said, imo you did overreact a little. Plates and forks that pets have eaten from are completely hygienic after washed. While most pet owners too have separate bowls for their pets, the ick factor is a you issue, not an actual danger or anything. Spelling out that when you said don’t use the plates you meant the forks too would have been sufficient though I admit that saying that without sarcasm dripping through might have been a impossible for any normal human being. Look for some old plate or whatever that you don’t use for human food and give that to them to use for the dog.
If you want to welcome pets in the future, it is ok to tell the pet owners to bring bowls for them, because you do not want your human plates / cutlery used for pet feeding. I’d assume people do that without saying, but apparently not? But you don’t have to welcome any, of course, if you don’t like pets.
ETA: Mind you I am in the “who the hell feeds their dog with a fork” camp with you. But it’s a private camp the dog owners who do it are not supposed to be told about to their faces. I’d probably not invite this particular dog to my home a second time, it sounds like a spoiled nuisance.
NTA. I admit that I am one of those people who will let my dog lick a plate. I believe the dishwasher will fully sanitize it. However, I would NEVER do that with someone else’s dishes or in someone else’s home.
NTA! these are your belongings and they should be respected. it’s not hard for people with pets to bring a dog bowl – this comes from an avid dog lover btw.
NTA. Your house, your rules
I’m a life long pet owner – a few cats, but consistently dogs. They don’t sleep in my bed, aren’t even allowed in my bedroom. I don’t let them on the furniture. And they don’t get any “people” food, let alone fed on dishes or cutlery used by humans.
They manage to live very happy lives despite these boundaries. They are exercised well, enjoy their own homemade food, have their own beds throughout the house, and know that they are loved.
You were absolutely within your rights to reprimand your guests. Since they’ve visited before, they are aware of how you feel about pets in your home. And they should be respectful of that.
NTA as a pet owner I would never allow my pets to eat off crockery or cutlery that is used by humans and anyone with any consideration and a modicum of common sense should not need to be told that this is unacceptable especially when they know how you feel about animals in your house. Totally disrespectful and in my opinion you didn’t overreact.
YTA if you hadn’t laid down the rules ahead of time. You cannot expect people to know what you haven’t told them.
You wouldn’t be for just calming asking them, but yelling at them is over the top.
I assume you wash your dishes. And allow your human friends to put your forks in their mouths. I understand it gives you ick, but it’s not actually any grosser than letting other people use your silverware.
Your home, your rules. NTA. on a side note, I’ve had dogs for many years, and I would never have them eat off a plate. I don’t want them to think that eating off my plate is acceptable.
Esh.
Plates and forks should be cleaned. Idc if its human, cat, dog or rat … i dont wanna eat after it. Clean dishes with dawn and hot as hell water.
They are in the wrong brcause they said stop being uptight.
Its your house your rules. They shoulda been graceful but instead were entitled