Am I the dickhead for how I treat my girlfriend? (M22/F18)
So basically, here’s the situation. My girlfriend lives an hour away. We’ve been together for almost 8 months now(we met after she turned 18). I love her and I want to spend my life with her, but sometimes it gets to the point where she makes me just not want to to talk to her. I work 50-60 hours a week, I pay rent on my own, I have a car loan, insurance, and credit card debt. Not to mention subscriptions and stuff like that. However I do work 4 days of the week. I work Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday Saturday. So I dedicate Sunday and half of Monday to go see her. Thursdays I spend at home because a lot of my job includes driving, and sometimes I just absolutely hate driving. She gets upset with me every single time I get home and I want to play my videogames in order to unwind and relax. So we created a rule where one day is ours, and another day is to myself because sometimes I need alone time. However we do call every single night, and we sleep on the phone every single night. I travel a lot for work, and I also travel for the military because I am in the military reserves. During every single one of my trips whether it be for the military, or for work, I cannot sleep on the phone with her and she gets absolutely pissed off with me because I can’t. We’ve had various fights about this where it always ends in where I tell her that I can’t change it and this is how it is. I have to work, and I have to travel for work. She is very clingy and I dont mind clingy, but it gets to the point where if we dont spend every minute talking on the phone instead of me playing my games, she gets pissed off. There’s been various times where she thinks Im cheating on her because I have online female friends on my games. There’s also been various times where she’s pissed off at me for watching anime(I watched seven deadly sins, and sword art online) because she thinks Im staring at the titties. There’s been various times where she’s searched my phone while Im asleep. She has guy friends, and I genuinely have not minded, until they try to get more friendly. For example, at one point she added a friend on Instagram and he was giving slight hints at first, but near the end he started blatantly asking if he could eat her coochie. I asked her to unblock him but at first she argued he would spread rumors, I told her that she’s an adult and that does not matter. I blocked him, but later on I learned she unblocked him. I then blocked him again and asked her to please not unblock him. The point Im getting at because I’ve noticed this has gotten really long, is that because of the fact I get home after a 13 hour work day, or even a 15 hour, and I want to play my games, is that really a bad thing??? Is it really bad that I want to spend A weekend(not multiple just 1) spending it at home rather than driving to her house, then having to drive back? Is it really bad that I want to go out drinking with my buddies the day before my birthday, then spending my birthday with her? Is it really bad that I want to spend time with my grandmother in New Jersey, and she blames me for “leaving” her? This isnt even the beginning of the questions, and I have a list. I really would just like some advice.
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Sounds like you are just not compatible and incapable of meeting her needs. She gets mad in hopes to change you when she should be accepting that this relationship just doesn’t work for her.
You’re not doing anything wrong. Your girlfriend doesn’t sound mature, but that’s honestly not uncommon for 18 year olds. She will learn by getting dumped a few times. Go live your life single for a while and figure out why you’ve let this go on for so long. Don’t you feel like you deserve someone who likes you?
Question; why are you staying in such a toxic and borderline emotionally abusive relationship? You can’t spend time with your grandma? Maybe because I grew up over my granny’s house but my gf would be gone the second she gets mad I spent time with my granny. But I also named my kid after my ganny so it depends on how close you are.