I’m a pretty pathetic person in this regard, and I have to admit it. I really, really want to be in a relationship, and for a variety of reasons that hasn’t really panned out. And when my life is normal and busy it’s just kind of a feeling that sits in the back of the mind, but when things go worse for me it very quickly comes to the forefront (usually with some awful crush to boot). I guess I just want to be a bit more levelheaded about these things.
How to you get yourself to be less desperate for a relationship?
r/AskMen
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Don’t want one. Nobody is worth someone like you and eventually the right one will come
You don’t need a relationship, you need a therapist.
Try and fix that relationship with yourself first. You sound like you care a lot, have you turned that intention onto yourself? Direct it into your work, your lifestyle, your finances. You’ll be stunned how soon someone wants a relationship with you.
Remember a bad relationship can be much worse than no relationship
Become more comfortable being alone. If you get a relationship, you’re likely going to be afraid that will end given your description. You might end up clingy or worse.
Learn to be content without a relationship. If you can be content with life without a relationship then it becomes something that would be cool to have but not really a big deal if you don’t. The only downside is it’s hard to want to go through any sorta hardship trying to date if you are already happy on your own. I know that is the case for me. I tried dating for a bit and simply quit very quickly because it was just alot of bs to go through and it’s way easier to just chill on my own.
Are you confusing loneliness with desperation ? I only ask because I think social media has done this thing where it has over pathologized any negative feelings at all.
Sadly… Getting in relationships fixed it for me. They stop being all they are cracked up to be.
I can’t say that I would have ever wanted them less if I didn’t have them. The newness and the excitement had to wear off.
People here are being a bit harsh, I think most of us want a relationship (on some level) even if we aren’t actively seeking it. It’s ok to want a partner. There’s nothing wrong with that.
If you feel like you are ready and suitable for a relationship get out there and meet people, else work on bettering yourself. It’ll happen.
Reading some specific books helped me a lot
And the irony is, thr more desperate you are the harder it will be for you to get into a relationship