I am 35 non-binary, my friend is 30 non-binary. We are dating the same person, 40 non-binary. Poly relationship. As far as I know everything is cool with the poly thing but now that Im closer, my friend is acting controlling and judging to me in a new way.
They have these rules around stuff like masking indoors which is fine, but if I dont know a rule or fuck up or say I might disagree and try to negotiate or ask questions or something they say I dont care about disability. Im honest so I can just not see them or our partner or whatever.
Then they get into like weird gatekeeping discourse about queer labels and shit that Im not down for. But again its how they express stuff more than anything, like acting disgusted at me or like I would be invalidating someone else or something.
Like they’re not just criticizing my actions or even my views, but my character. and I dont even know if that’s reparable or if I wanna repair it anymore. I have CPTSD and Ive had lots of bad experiences and I have standards for how I let people treat me, and this is all red flags to me.
BUT.. we share a partner. And we’re like all in a community together. I don’t have experience with trying to manage ending a friendship with someone in this situation.
Please dont respond if you’re against queers or against poly, thats not helpful. Otherwise, interested in thoughts. Thanks.
TL;DR close friend starting to give red flags in a poly relationship.
Comments
I don’t funny understand dynamics of poly relationship or queers, but breaking up shouldn’t be that hard imo, you just need to communicate your reasons. Third person might side either with you or the person you are breaking up with- that’s . Isn’t it exactly this easy? I don’t know, maybe I don’t understand dynamics
Do you all live together?
How long have you known your friend and how long have both of you been dating the partner you share?