OK so me and this girl have been friends for a bit but recently I stated developing feelings for her. We talk regularly but recently we’ve been talking alot like these last three days every day till past midnight, last week about 5 days the convos only end when I say I have to go and good night. Generally we’ve been talking alot for the past 3-4 weeks.
But the thing is about that time frame , I end the convos but I initiate them. Like pretty much every time. She only initiates asking about my sister’s exams (which is like 4 times).
Generally she initiated only asking about my mom’s health after she got tired and asking if I things were OK after I said there were some issues during a convo we had.
That’s it she only initiates mid convo. I asked her recently saying that it’s fine I’d she doesn’t want to rank or am I overbearing. She actually was worried and said why would she sat that and what did she do that made me feel this way. In the end she said that if she doesn’t want to talk she wouldn’t answer or reply. And that she has anxious attachment and she isn’t really good at initiating conversation and feels awkward and doesn’t know what to say.
So…. what does that mean? And what should I do moving forward?
Comments
Sounds like she enjoys talking to you but just struggles to initiate because of her own anxiety. If you like her, keep things light and consistent, and maybe share how you feel when the time feels right. Don’t overthink her not starting convos her actions show she cares.
Communication is key. Have an open, honest discussion about how you feel. Best case scenario, she feels the same way. Worst case, a bit of temporary awkwardness. Good luck, mate!
She likes you but fear locks her up. Keep showing up but let her prove it too or you’ll burn out alone.
Anxiety over starting convos can be so debilitating! “What if they’re busy” “what if they’re secretly mad at me” “what if I annoy them”, stuff like that. So she may not initiate convo much until she’s more comfortable! I struggle to initiate convos with people I’ve been friends with for over 10 years lol! If she’s keeping the convo going after you initiate and she seems to be interested and like she’s giving you good replies and back and forth then that’s a good thing! As for where to go from here? Give it some time. See how your own feelings develop over the next few weeks. If they grow stronger/stay the same, meaning you still have feelings for her, maybe bring it up to her? “Hey I wanted to tell you something. Lately I’ve developed feelings for you and was wondering if you might feel something similar? Or if you’d be interested in dating/going on a date with me?” And if she says no that’s okay! If you value her friendship then, while it may be a little awkward at first, you’ll still have a good friend in her! Just don’t blow her off if she says no, it sends the message that you were only into her to get something from her and not to be her friend.