Location: New Jersey
My girlfriend’s coworker, an 18-year-old server at a local restaurant and bar, recently faced a heart-wrenching ordeal: his adoptive mother evicted him just months after his 18th birthday. We’ve learned she exploited his earnings to feed her gambling addiction, leaving him in a precarious state. Until recently, he was couch-surfing with friends, but he reached out to my girlfriend for help.
Today, he persuaded his mother to return his birth certificate and New Jersey state ID, but her claim of not having his Social Security Number raises serious concerns. We plan to run his credit report soon to uncover any financial damage she may have caused.
We’ve opened our guest bedroom to him, offering a temporary safe haven. While my girlfriend and I are managing financially, we lack the resources to support him long-term without assistance.
He continues to work part-time at the restaurant alongside my girlfriend, but the hours are limited. He also picks up informal work at a nearby farm, though it’s not a full-time position with paystubs. With only $300 to his name and a driver’s permit awaiting a road test, he’s striving for stability but faces significant hurdles.
We’re eager to help him rebuild, but we need guidance. What resources or assistance programs in New Jersey—beyond SNAP (EBT), which we know could help with food costs—might be available to support him? We’re looking for programs that could address housing, financial aid, job opportunities, or other critical needs. Any advice or recommendations would be deeply appreciated as we navigate this challenging situation together.
Comments
You’re doing more for him than most people ever would, seriously. I’d call hotlines in NJ since they can connect you to housing help, legal aid, and youth programs fast.
You and your girlfriend are amazing. You very well might’ve saved this kids life. Teach him how to freeze his credit while you’re at it if she hasn’t already screwed his credit up. Be prepared to talk to him about what he wants to do if she has, in fact, taken out loans in his name. He will have to press charges against her to fix it. Seriously though, bless you guys
The job should have an I-9 document on file, his SSN should be written on that.
Edit: Additionally, look into Job Corps. They’re national. They’ll do vocational training, house people during their training programs, feed them, help them get placed in jobs.
Schools are required to keep student records on file for a minimum of five years (at least in my state; not sure if it’s different in others). School records are also cumulative, meaning they start off with almost nothing in them when a kid first starts in elementary, and are added to over the course of the student’s entire academic career, following them from school to school. They typically contain copies of the birth certificate, social security card, parent/guardian ID, proof of address, immunization record, all end-of-year report cards, special services documents, disciplinary records, etc.
Now that your friend is 18 and presumably graduated from high school, only he has the authority to access the contents of his cumulative folder, and he has legal rights to copies of every single document in it. Tell him to go to the last school he attended and request copies of the contents of that folder. It’s not quite the same as having originals, but at least it’ll give him the info he needs.
Other possible resources for him include food banks, SNAP benefits, shelters, low-income housing, libraries (which are an amazing resource that not enough people know about; librarians are required to have Masters degrees for a reason), churches, and local charities. He may also consider the military. While far from being a perfect solution, he will at least be well-fed, provided safe housing, paid, and given job skills training and access to medical care.
Thank you for looking out for him.
Could he join a reserve military branch? That could help pay for schooling and get him a support system.
Take him to your county offices and help him file for any aid he can get. Online at – The Official Web Site for The State of New Jersey | Assistance
Also, have him go to food pantries to help with food.
His employer should have a copy of his SS card, help hm set up a credit karma free account.
See if you qualify for r/assistance to set up an Amazon wish list.
Thank you for helping him!
You can contact your local city hall and state elected representatives for further help