Hi so me (15F) broke up with my ex bf(15M) a month ago and im honestly over it due to how many times we already broke up. Ive done one thing that is messed up. The thing i did was log in on his account secretly hours after we broke up cause i wanted to find out what he was telling his sister about our relationship and i know that was a very fucked up thing to do and i still regret it, but i found out that his sister that i had been confiding to about my struggles about our relationship, was defending his actions and saying that none of it was his fault. P.S the reason i broke up with my boyfriend was because many months ago he actually SA’d me multiple times(I didnt realize it was SA) followed onlyfans women, and just continously hurt me everyday. So seeing his sister defend his actions, completely call me a liar and implying that im trying to put a bad image on her brother really hurt me.
She claimed that she knew every single move that her brother does and she doesnt believe me when i said that he SA’d me. He admitted that he SA’d me multiple times but she still refuses to admit it and is telling me my actions were worse. She’s saying that if she were in my situation she wouldnt have stayed in the first place, but that was the exact opposite of what I did because i loved him and truly believed that he would change(he didnt) So since i did the opposite of what she would do, she started bringing up on what her friends went thru and they got accused of being an SA’er, and she’s thinking im also doing the same thing and accusing her brother. I know there’s absolutely no way to change her mind but I just dont get it, she’s his family member i get that, but to defend him SA’ing someone?
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She’s deep in denial and protecting him no matter what, and that’s not your burden to fix. You did what you had to do to get out, and I’m really proud of you for that.
It’s actually really really common for the family members to defend for SA. I had a very very similar situation to which his mom blamed me for it. I applaud you for the ability to recognize it so young and quick enough to still have time to do something about it. It is in your best interest to drop it unless you think this is something truly worth fighting for. If you have enough evidence you could bring it to court but that is a very long hard battle to fight. Otherwise stay in your lane and just know what you did was right, even with the small hiccup of snooping.