I (30F) do the bare minimum stuff, but he’s (33M) more burnt out than usual from balancing a full time 9-5 and a degree program he recently started college courses. I take him to dinner often, every 4-6 months I plan a weekend away somewhere so we get a few days of alone time to connect. He is also very open emotionally. He’s in therapy. I ask him about his feelings often, but I don’t really have to because he also initiates these conversations whenever he needs to talk.
When I ask him if there’s more that I can do to help, he says I do enough. But I still have money in my pockets, time in my schedule, and I see that he is still struggling so I don’t think so. What sorts of special things do your loved ones do for you to refresh you? To help you push through the rougher patches of life?
(Leave the sex stuff out. Trust me, he is covered. I’ll probably break him if I do any more than I’m already doing)
Comments
From my perspecitve. I don’t think being free from all burdens is healthy. Sometimes we have a sense of accomplishment from knowing we have had a struggle; even if it’s not on the particular thing, but a collection of things. So if he is open; then he’s probably good enough.
Maybe i’m wrong here, but maybe you don’t have to over do things he should have other outlets besides you; you should be able to take some of that time and energy and put it back into yourself. I think he would enjoy seeing you also do something which is self fufilling.
You sound awesome already. Seriously this is great.
We take a peek at our bank account balance. It usually gives us the motivation needed to carry on working.