Last year, my sister asked me for some money to pay her rent because she was in a tough spot. I gave it to her without asking for anything back. Two months later, she asked for more to cover her car payment. Again, I sent it because she said she would lose her car otherwise. Last week, she called and said she needed money to buy a new phone because hers broke. I told her I couldn’t help this time. I’m saving up for some urgent repairs in my apartment, and honestly, I feel she isn’t trying to budget better or handle her finances on her own. She got mad at me and said I was selfish and didn’t care about her struggles. I felt guilty after the call, but also tired of being her backup plan.
AITAH for finally saying no?
Comments
Nope, you’re not, you’ve done more than enough. Setting limits is perfectly okay
you’re not the ah. you helped before, but it’s okay to say no when you need to take care of yourself. she needs to learn to handle her own finances.
Unfortunately some people just take, take. Sadly you set the tone by not asking for the money back the 1st time.
Next time set up a payment plan and once she realises her golden goose has stopped laying I dont think she’ll ask again, or at least as often
How old is your sister? She needs to do better at being an adult. And she can get a cheap phone if she is in a pinch.
NTA
She is the selfish one.
She has a nerve too calling you selfish. The idiot needs to work more or spend less.
Has she ever payed you back?
NTA. You helped her wth essentials rent and a car but a new fon isn’t an emergency, it’s a want. You’re not her personak bank. Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means you have boundaries. She’s mad because “easy money” finally dried up. Stand your groumd.
NTA. Do you have no other relatives that she can cry to? Or have you just become the “easy touch”…
A good way to deflect would be something like, “sorry, I budgeted $XXXX this year to help people, and it has all been borrowed. Nobody has paid me back yet, so until them it is out of my hands!”
It’s easy to get a phone for $20 a month added onto your bill.
NTA
Do you have one of your old phones sitting in a drawer somewhere that you can give her. Better yet, she probably has one in a drawer herself. People upgrade their phones so often that I’m sure someone she knows has an old one she can have.
She probably just wants a new one because hers is old and she wants to be like everyone else who k ow how to budget their money.