Why is your marriage sexless? What happened?

r/

I’ve seen many people mention that their marriages eventually became sexless or had a significant drop in intimacy. For those of you who are (or were) in that situation, what do you think caused it?

Was it stress, kids, resentment, lack of attraction, medical issues, or something else?

Did you try to fix it? If so, what worked or didn’t work?

Looking back, do you wish you had done something differently?

Comments

  1. abeebytes Avatar

    Kids… Ironically the #1 reason for sexless marriages. Kids cube with a lot of 2nd/3rd/…./nth degree of factors.

    The hormones, the touched out phase, the evolutionary instincts kicking in and going into an overdrive, loss of rationality or ability to prioritise. The rejections, the resentment, the guilt, fear, concern… Fuck…. Yeah. Kids are the root cause of platonic marriages.

  2. throwawaygdn Avatar

    Marriage is the goal for some, and sex is the tool they use to reach this goal. Once the goal is reached, the tool isn’t needed anymore, hence marriages turn sexless. Kids aren’t as big a factor as people make them, there are loads of childless couples in dead bedroom marriages.

    Want to avoid a sexless marriage? Don’t marry.

  3. David_Maybar_703 Avatar

    She got what she wanted, house, marriage,  me paying all the bills. Then she informed me that sex was painful. Mind you, she had two kids prior to us getting together. So, apparently she faked it for 20 years.  We don’t do anything together that doesn’t involve social obligations. She’s civil, and my friends and family love her. 

  4. Crafty-Scholar-3902 Avatar

    Our kid does not sleep through the night very often and will end up in our bed so we can at least get some sleep. Coupled with my wife is sick quite a bit and doesn’t feel like it more than half the time