So I (F26) bought my boyfriend (M28) a car last year for his birthday. Not some fancy ride, but a decent used Honda since his junker kept breaking down. Paid cash, title’s in my name, the whole thing.
Fast forward to last week when I’m charging his iPad (that I also pay for) and his iMessages pop up with some girl named “Bri from work” he’s been fucking his coworker for months. Like, full-on affair, hotel receipts in his email, the whole pathetic package. When I confronted him, he had the audacity to say “it just happened” and that I “wasn’t meeting his needs.”
So yesterday I showed up at his job with my spare key and took MY CAR back. Left his sorry ass to Uber his wsy home. Now he’s blowing up my phone calling me petty and saying I’m “punishing him” and how’s he supposed to get to work.
Our mutual friends are split, some say I’m justified, others say the car was a gift and I’m being bitter. But like… gifts are for people who respect you, right? AITA for taking back what’s legally mine?
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Original copy of post’s text by /u/NayelleFrost:
So I (F26) bought my boyfriend (M28) a car last year for his birthday. Not some fancy ride, but a decent used Honda since his junker kept breaking down. Paid cash, title’s in my name, the whole thing.
Fast forward to last week when I’m charging his iPad (that I also pay for) and his iMessages pop up with some girl named “Bri from work” he’s been fucking his coworker for months. Like, full-on affair, hotel receipts in his email, the whole pathetic package. When I confronted him, he had the audacity to say “it just happened” and that I “wasn’t meeting his needs.”
So yesterday I showed up at his job with my spare key and took MY CAR back. Left his sorry ass to Uber his wsy home. Now he’s blowing up my phone calling me petty and saying I’m “punishing him” and how’s he supposed to get to work.
Our mutual friends are split, some say I’m justified, others say the car was a gift and I’m being bitter. But like… gifts are for people who respect you, right? AITA for taking back what’s legally mine?
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NTA. Legally and morally yours. Don’t cheat then expect to keep the benefits. Your ex is dumb af.
If this is true, NTA. He didn’t respect you so why should you respect him? Serves him right.
Cheaters don’t get chauffeurs. You didn’t take the car you took back your self-respect on four wheels.
NTA. I love this. I guess it’s another example of your not meeting his (transportation) needs. He’s a complete AH and I’m glad you found out now before things became complicated by kids, etc.
NTA! It was a good move not to change the title to his name.
If the “free ride” and “free iPad” wasn’t enough to keep him in check, then there really was no hope.
You have to have better game than “Bri from work”.
Keep paying for love. Eventually, you’ll catch a fish that will fall in line.
It was a gift for a guy who was faithful. Turns out that wasn’t him so it wasn’t gifted to the correct person. Happens. Also if the car itself was a gift it would’ve been in his name. You got him a car to use. A car to use was the gift. Now he no longer is able to use it.
NTA. He cheated, the car’s in your name, and he can figure out his own ride. Actions have consequences
NTA, let the new gf take him to work
NTA – because the car is still in your name.
It wasn’t a gift it was a grant. Grants are conditional.
NTA. You bought it. It’s titled to you. He’s lucky you didn’t sell it and use the cash and bought something for yourself.
I wonder how people (your friends) can be divided in a case like this. Aaaaaa, right! What a bum! Think of it like this:
You give an expensive gift that you bought outright (I believe he took money from your savings), you pay for the iPad, the guy cheats on you, blames you for the betrayal. Oh, you’re petty because you want the car back since it remains in your name. Aaaaaaaa. People also travel, right!
Do you live together?
Will you leave him?
That wasn’t clear.
You’re not petty, if you were, you’d go into the company, talk to HR, and hand over the case. For both of them to be fired. So no!
NTA at all. If the car was an actual gift you’d have put the title in his name. It was a car you bought “for his use” but not his. Stop paying for the iPad as well. What else are you paying for? I would tell him that since you are not meeting his needs, maybe his coworker can start funding his lifestyle. You are being used, stop that!
NTA
Tell him to go back to riding his coworker!!
His ride to work is now Bri from work’s problem since she’s meeting his needs.
NTA, and if one single person defends him, no reason to keep in contact with them either. But I think you know that.
If the car is in your name, it’s your car. NTA.
If this is an accurate story. Your mutual friends are idiots if they think you’ve done anything wrong.
> others say the car was a gift and I’m being bitter
This is a stupid way of looking at things, the car was an investment in your relationship. Something to make your lives better as a couple. You don’t fucking CHEAT on the woman paying your bills then turn around shocked going on about “meeting his needs”. He doens’t respect you or the relationship he doesn’t get the benefits of such.
This is next narcissism, there is NO WAY ON EARTH if this situation was reversed and he caught you fucking some other guy he’d be letting you keep the car that’s in his name.
I don’t undrestand how all these shit men find women like yourself. You deserve way better. I’d have done the exact same thing.
Damn right you’re punishing him! He can get Bri to buy him a car. The audacity of this ungrateful cheating weirdo
The only issue I would have with it is if he used his car for partial trade-in. Otherwise tell him to kick rocks
NTA. I hope you took back the ipad too.
Let’s be honest, you never meant it to be a gift, it was in your name, you kept a key. I think you should have framed it differently and said youre buying a car for him to use, but now that were here I think youre okay and at the very least you two AHs deserve each other. So ESH. It was never a gift. He is more of an AH and a moron to boot.
The revenge is funny, hopefully moron ex learns the lesson you taught him. I am not a spiteful person, I dont believe in teaching adults lessons, but I think youre okay here, even if the whole gift thing was a lie/leverage.
It’s your car. He is an asshole.
F&@k him!! Go get a ride from Bri
Updateme
If it’s legally yours it’s yours. That simple. And morally? How can he even dare to ask? Tell him he wasn’t meeting your needs as a bf, so taking your car back just happened. NTA.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
Why are the friends always split in these scenarios?
Alexa play Irreplaceable by Beyoncé
NTA
The relationship is over and you own the car.
Tell him that it’s sounds like a him problem, but Bri seems to like giving him rides, ask her.
NTA. Let the people defending him buy him a car. Or his side piece
I feel like a car is a gift in the same way an engagement ring is a gift; If you were the one cheating- etiquette says return the ring. He’s cheating- so take back the car. Especially because you so easily, legally can. You just ruined my life, IDGAF if you don’t know how you’re going to get to and from work. I don’t know how I’m going to trust again. A car can be replaced, trust can’t.
You are NTA he literally FAFO. What an entitled dumb ass.
Gifts dont have titles with legal ownership names attached to them verifiable by the state. if it was a gift the title would have been in his name, you always knew , im sorry your going through this. cut him out , be done with him take back everything that was yours that you can , sell the rest including the car and kick his ass out he can go live with co worker at the airbnb
Using your car and iPad to go see his side piece and it’s not fair according to him? Dudes like this will blame the world and never take accountability.
Sell the car and drop the dude and take care of yourself
Good kuck
Is not a gift if its still under your name. NTA. Sell the car and take back everything you can.
Sounds like he was with you for the money. You bought him a car, an iPad, what else did you purchase for him. And YOU weren’t meeting HIS needs? This is a very NEEDY boy!
Now he wants to ride around in a car you paid for and take his side piece out in it?
Nope. Sorry not sorry. If it was in your name he doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on. As far as morally…well he dropped all his morals. He could have said I think we need to talk I’m not feeling this relationship any more and ended it before he just snuck around behind your back all while continuing to use your generosity.
Just break it off clean and learn from it!
NTA why isn’t he your EX boyfriend? The car you bought & titled in your name is yours. The gift was allowing him to drive it. Perhaps if he wasn’t paying for hotel rooms he could afford his own car.
Fuck your mutual “friends”. That car is yours. You already know that.
He seems pretty comfortable benefitting from your generosity while stabbing you in the back. Not meeting his needs?? The entitlement! Lose this guy yesterday. Bri from work can pick him up each day.
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The nerve cheaters have…
Title is in your name so the car is yours, period.
Your ex is just trash…not only for the affair but also for his reaction when you confronted him…
Also your so called friends who can’t see what’s right or wrong are not “friends”…
Obviously NtA
If it’s in your name, you have every right to take it back. He could have had the title switched to his name at any time. Let him face the consequences of cheating. Sell the car. Updateme
Definitely NTA but won’t he just show up and take the car with his key?
I guess you could have him charged with theft at that point but still… I could see this back and forth going on until you get the police involved.
“Of course I’m punishing you, asshole. You didn’t meet my needs, so I picked up my car. Toodleoo!”
Oh fuck this guy. Just tell him he wasn’t meeting your needs
I don’t understand these unequal relationships. It’s so easy to be taken advantage of. Why would you buy a car for someone you’re not even married to?
Absolutely not the ahole your car in your name. He’s a piece of crap sounds like you have been taking care of this person for a while now you have been being used for a long time done gone
You have every right to be bitter and to “punish” him for cheating on you. You are also very stupid. 🤷🏾♀️
NTA
Irreplaceable by Beyoncé
I can have another you in a minute, matter fact he’ll be here in a minute…
You have every right to be bitter and to “punish” him for cheating on you. You are also very stupid. 🤷🏾♀️
Our mutual friends are split, some say this is a real story, others say this is AI generated bullshit.
It’s in your name, you arent taking back a gift… you just aint letting his cheating ass borrow your car any more.
Edit – also, obvously NTAH
Depends whose name is on the title…. Your name, your car. His name…. Legally it’s his. But he is definitely the asshole
You should have taken the iPad, too. Bigger question is why are you paying for this stuff? And ditch the mutual “friends” . They are as bad as he is.
Yeah of course you’re punishing him. He’s an asshole.
NTA. I’m proud of you
The gift was having access to a decent car, he clearly used you. NTA
Nta. You and that car have one big similarity, he took both of you for a ride. The car was an actual ride but you were figuratively speaking deceived by him. Don’t let anyone else deceive you. If they call to take his side ask them to go to bri from work for a new car or tell them if them feel so strongly about it they can give him their car or buy him one. But your car ( because it is yours legally) will not be driven by anyone you don’t trust. You would be legally culpable if he did any damage with that car and you feel like you have enough trauma from the damage to your heart he caused.
“Our mutual friends are split…” Is always a sign of a fake post.
Do more than take the car take your life back dump him
You are paying for IP too, let his new girl totally fulfill him by supporting all his wants
NTA. It’s legally yours and you would be f*cked if he did something with it.
Sell it or keep it. If he takes it again report it stolen.
Any friend who says you’re wrong isn’t your friend.
Block him and ghost everyone who defends him
Tell him he can buy the car from you for the market value. CarMax offer is a good way to establish that. Cause you’re gonna dump him, right? And you can’t continue to let him use your car that you’re financially responsible for post dump – he might revenge-crash it into a Cybertruck and then you’re screwed.
The gift is a gift. Break up with him. But you’re not supposed to take gifts back. So, ESH.
I mean ultimately the car is in your name and not his. You don’t want to be liable for anything he does with that car and he would have put it in his name if it was actually his.. he’s got to go.
Absolutely not!
NTA. Fuck yeah I’m punishing you.
Granted it was a gift, but he then rejected it when he rejected you.
If the title is in your name it was never his. Stop phrasing it like that. NTA
I mean, it’s in your name, what did he think was going to happen? lol.. and he thinks you’re being petty now? I’d double down. Take it to get detailed and make a post about “deep cleaning my life to get rid of nasty ass lying cheaters and their absolute audacity”. NTA.
NTA-his bags would be waiting on the porch for him to send his sorry a$$ Uber to his AP (affair partner’s) house. Maybe he can mooch a car from her. Not your problem. The car is yours, take it to Carmax and sell it. Or sell it on FB Marketplace cash. Once a cheat always a cheat and gaslit you. Blaming you for his affair is narcissistic behavior 🚩🚩🚩🚩🏃♀️girl run. Now for my ESH, my step-daughter was married 14 years with an 12 year old and a 3 year old. She found on his old I-pad that he had given his son. Still hooked to his I-cloud, she found everything full blown affair for more than 8 months. He did the same thing blamed her. It took a year to finalize the divorce and he hasn’t PAID a dime of CHIlD SUPPORT. OP you deserve better. The sooner you can move on with your life.
Nta AT ALL. Fuck that asshole. Its your car. He can fcking walk. What a disgusting loser. I hope that uber was expensive 😅
Black guy ?
Let “Bri from work” pick up the trash. Ditch the unsupportive friends and the boyfriend. NTA, you deserve better. And take the Ipad as well.
LOL. Yep, you’re punishing him. Sucks to be him.
The car is in your name — it’s yours. Let him take the bus.
BTW, I hope you mean “ex-boyfriend.”
NTA
I hate when people end the story with xx are split, some agree with me and some say im too much, it makes it look like an AI post.
But if it is true, you are obviously nta for taking your car
If your friends are calling you “bitter “ Say “ Yes I am, so what !”
NTA. Money for hotels but not a car? Take the ride and do something fun for yourself
NTA, get checked for STD/STIs.
So Bri can only give him one type of ride i’m guessing?
NTA. That’s your car. You were just letting him use it. Get new friends.
Do you take the ipad too?
If your name is on the title, fair play. As far as him getting to work goes, tell him catch a ride with Bri.
Screw that guy. He cheated, and it is your car. Bri can take him to work. If he has hotel money, then he should have car payment money.
NTA.Tell him to ask Bri from work to drive him.
I’d say he can go get a ride with the girl he has been banging, since she is his new girl, you could find out if she has a BF and let him know as well if you wanted to be really vengeful, but I’d say the car and pad is enough to teach him that lesson.
NTA. “It just happened” that you took your shit back after being Used and disrespected. Ditch your “friends” that find his behavior acceptable too. 🤷
Why are you listening to him?
Fake. Mutual friends split the classic tell. This be a fictional piece of ridiculously obvious moral problem to illicit rage. Try harder. Confronted with evidence no friends are going to not support this action.
NTA. I’m glad you left it in your name, so many times people get screwed by users and have no recourse. Why would he think he can spend his money on hotels for the fling while you pay for things for him is bonkers. Like why does he think that you owe him a free car when he did that. He should have met her somewhere else and saved for his own car. He punished himself.
I’m hoping ex, sounds like he’s bri’s problem, Honda for sale, and anyone who says your petty they can come up with the coin for the car and they can give it to him,
I’m confused? You bought the car, kept the title in YOUR name. And let him borrow it.
You didn’t do anything wrong. You stopped letting him borrow your property
NTA. Sounds like you got an iPad too.
He’s pretty fucking entitled to think he can keep YOUR car after cheating on you. It would only have been a gift if it were registered in his name. It’s not. Your friends are either morons or greedy.
NTA. Tell him to get a ride from Bri since he’s ridden her already. I meant ridden with her.
I guess you don’t need to meet his needs of transportation either then. If he can have an affair to meet his other needs then he can go out and find a car to meet his transportation needs. You are NOT the Ass Hole.
NTA. He doesn’t get to fuck around on you and have you pay for it. Keep the car and stop paying his phone bill too.
It’s your car. It’s in your name. He broke the trust. Punk can ride w Bri From Work until he can afford to buy his own car like a MAN.
Please tell me you took the ipad, too.
NTA
Fake, I believe. Car is in your name, so why do you even have to ask?
The car was in your name. It wasn’t a gift. It was a loaner.
NTA
Only read the title;
Cheaters can walk! ✌🏻
Not the asshole just don’t drive it back
NTA. Screw the so called friends that say that you are wrong.
He used the car to cheat so take it back & let her get him an uber
So I suppose those friends will now pitch in to get him a car? I mean, if they care so much…
Kick this loser to the curb, take some look after your time, and reassess what you’re will to put into developing a relationship in the beginning because after yesterday you’ll see you have a new view on “trust” take some time to find yourself healthy and be your new normal. Best of luck you deserve and deserved better, a lot letter and I hope this mound of shit understands that one day.
Nope, he made his decision
Boss move girl.
AI garbage post. “Friends are split.”
The cars in your name. It’s yours. Don’t forget the I- pad either if it’s in your name and you’re currently paying for it.
I mean, didn’t he see it coming? How do cheaters honestly think there won’t be any consequences? NTA OP
Hell no you’re NTA. Your ex and mutual friends who say it was a gift and you’re being bitter can kiss your ass. Gift or not, don’t tolerate that bullshit. My money, my car.
Who cares even if you are a little he’s the bigger one?
Fuck that asshole. Block him and move on
NTA
He should’ve saved his money instead of using it on hotel. Maybe Bri can help him get a new car or give him a ride going forward.
He deserves to punished though. NTA