Hello everyone in need of some advice. On the opposite side of a breakup after 8 years. Is it normal to feel like I’m floating outside my body and just going through the motions. I’m starting to do new things and pick up old ones . But just feel weird especially talking to new women. Need advice on how to better move forward/on. Thank you
Newly single, need advice
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Yes, this is normal because your nervous system is dealing with the loss. And grief comes with loss. Was the breakup very recent?
Yeah feeling disconnected after a long breakup is super normal, your brain’s still catching up. Keep doing small consistent things that feel like you, the confidence and connection will follow.
Totally normal, man. 8 years is a long time. Just keep doing your stuff, hit the gym, see friends, and let yourself feel weird for a bit. Talking to new people will get less weird the more you do it.
Totally normal 8 years is a huge part of your life. That “floating” feeling is your brain catching up to the change. Keep doing those new and old things, and don’t rush yourself with meeting new people. Healing isn’t linear, but you’re on the right path. One day at a time.
Yeah, you’ll feel weird talking to new women for a while. It’s not like it’s something you’ve done for a long time!! Don’t focus on dating anyone at all though. You were together too long and been apart too short for anything good to come out of talking to or seeing someone new. There’s definitely a social stigma and sting to going back to being single after a longterm committed relationship. No real antidote except time, reflection, and grieving.
If you want to talk to women for hookups/one-night-stands to scratch a sexual itch, that’s different though. Anything more and you’ll ultimately put some of your feelings of your ex on whoever you talk to and it will cause emotional turmoil if you haven’t moved on and healed from this.
Totally normal. After 8 years, it’s natural to feel disconnected, like you’re just going through the motions. That’s grief and adjustment, not failure. Picking up old hobbies and trying new things is exactly the right move. It’ll feel weird at first, but that’s part of finding your footing again. Talking to new people will get easier with time. Don’t force it, focus on rebuilding your life, and confidence will follow. You’re doing better than you think. Keep going.
Absolutely normal, your entire life for the last 8 years partially (or wholly) revolved around this one person, and now they’re gone – your body will need time to adjust to this change, albeit quite a large one. The average grieving length (from a psychologist I once knew) is 6 months to 2 years, particularly for very long relationships like this one. Everyone heals differently, so it may take less or more time for you, but it should generally be about that timespan.
As for things you can do, it sounds cliché but just doing what you enjoy really does help – I’ve had my fair share of grievances and I found that history and archery made me feel a lot better, so just try new stuff and find what you enjoy.
The most important thing that I could say is to not rebound (rush into) another relationship. This may feel like a helpful thing to do, but all it is doing is filling a gap that should not be filled right now – once your breakup pain is healed you’ll only end up realising you don’t like this person and break up with them, starting the whole cycle again.
I truly feel your pain and I really hope you get over this swiftly. Take things one day at a time, or if you’re having a bad day, take it an hour at a time ❤️
Totally normal. After 8 years, your brain’s still catching up. Feeling weird is part of it. Just go slow, try new things, and don’t force anything. It’ll get better.
The first steps are always the hardest, you got this!
Freight train it. Gotta just push through. Do things that you enjoy. One day you can probably be friends since 8 years was a long run to be close. But that is much farther down the tracks. Good luck!🍀
Every person I’ve known that’s gone through a breakup from a long term relationship seems to take a year or two to fully recover.
Yeah it feels like youre floatig and just like you said going through the motions bec we dnt have the old routine anymore and still figuring out how to navigate being single again.
For me I walk a lot and I journal. Slowly started making new daily routines and new hobbies too.
Take it slow or fast whichever makes you comfortable.
Wish you the best