My ex was completely absent during my entire pregnancy. He was so happy I was pregnant and We originally agreed to raise our son as friends when we initially found out, but as I got further along he disappeared. I’d send him possible baby names and doctor updates— all my messages went ignored or he’d just send me the thumbs up 👍 Eventually, I forced myself to understand that I’d be raising this baby alone and actually came to peace with it.
I gave birth last week and my ex and his mom showed up to the hospital. This was my second time ever meeting his mom. He actually was a helping hand while I rested the first two days, but now I’m home with my own family and ex & his mom have been coming to visit. It feels almost suffocating. My ex argued with me about bottle feeding when I told him I want to breast feed and gave me the silent treatment in my own home (he apologized via text 2 days later). His mom also won’t stop calling me asking when she can see the baby. I’m feeling suffocated and stressed from my ex’s lack of emotional awareness, plus still healing from a C-section through all of this.
I lowkey do not want to see my ex and his mother (literally haven’t heard or seen them in 9 months!), but I feel bad because this is also his son and I don’t want to be that “bitter baby mother”. Any advice on how to move forward?
Comments
Decide what your boundaries are and be firm with them. You feel bad but did he feel bad when he disappeared during the pregnancy? Your boundaries can change over time but don’t let them push you
Tell them you need however much time you need to recover and bond with your baby and then you can work something out. But right now is your time.