i (16F) have slept with one person and am genuinely scared to sleep with anybody else because of the way that people online (social media) and teenagers in my life place so much importance on women based on that number. i’m involved with a guy i want to sleep with, but the constant shaming i witness also has installed a sense of guilt in me, where i feel like i shouldn’t sleep with anyone or my worth will lower. what should i do? does it always matter or is this a high school thing?
does body count matter when you get older?
r/Advice
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no it doesn’t at all, only immature people consider that and if you take matters to avoid those people in your life then you’ll be alright. Also, how many people know about your past relationship? I get it’s fun to tell your friends you slept with someone but that’s very risky cuz kids are little talkers so try to keep it private, that’ll avoid alot of shaming.
people are less picky with looks and your past as you get older. The only thing i’ve seen people care about is your income and if you want to have kids or not, usually not so much about your fashion sense or if you slept with many people or if you like cats or dogs etc.
Body count only matters to people who haven’t grown up. If you feel ready and safe, your choice is valid shame is just society trying to control you.
No one needs to know your body count. So there’s that.
Dmed you
Honestly same. I feel like I’ll ALWAYS lie about my sexual past because I’m terrified of being judged. But kinda also, who cares? I can’t imagine being judgey of a guy about that but idk.
It is no one’s business how many people you’ve slept with. I’d say after 30 it stops being a “thing.” I could see that shifting to earlier if more people stop answering or playing into the shaming of people who have had more than like 3 partners.
Depends on the amount.
20 bodies by 20 years old yeah that’s an issue.
But something like 5? That’s not really a big deal… unless they’re insecure or something.
21f here, I promise you it will not matter in the way you think it does. Your intimate life does not define you or your character whatsoever. Unless the person is a complete a-hole, your sexual experiences are not going to make a mature adult shame or find you unappealing. If anything, I find it’s something that is asked to learn about a person’s sexual wants and needs.
That being said, do make sure you remain careful in you sleep with, and how you act regarding your body count. It’s absolutely not something to be ashamed of, but you are completely right that things like this can especially place a weight on young women today. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can choose to carry yourself with composure. Keep intimate details private and special moments like that between the people they need to be with. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, so be safe and remind yourself your worth is absolutely not determined by something like this.
Go easy on yourself 🙂
No, not it doesn’t.
If it matters for whatever person you might find yourself to be around when you grow older, then they’re the wrong person.
I used to have strong feelings / worries about the number (feeling like it was too high or too low at various points in my life) and now I can honestly say that I haven’t thought about it and it hasn’t come up in at least 5 years (I’m in my mid 20’s). The only thing that matters is if you’re feeling comfortable, safe, respected, and having fun. Those things are way way way more important than any number. You also don’t need to tell anybody 🙂 best of luck!
Honestly, if someone is concerned about your body count that says more about them than you. Most people don’t care.
If someone disrespects you for anything: body count, who you are, thoughts, or tries to control you, they are not worth being with.
If you are happy with you and your past that’s all that matters.
When you say “older”, do you mean twenties, forties, sixties, eighties?
Well, I’m over sixty and I’ll put it like this, the older you get, the easier it is to dump the assholes who care about body count.
Only to insecure baby peen carriers.
Grown folk with brains and balls, not so much.
Also no one should ever ask your body count. And you never have an obligation to answer.
It doesnt compared to life experiences, love you show and the way you treat your partner
My husband doesn’t even know my body count. Not because I’m ashamed or it’s crazy high… but because it genuinely doesn’t matter when you’re an adult.
And if all else fails and you’re feeling self conscious… you can always lie. There’s not a ticker up in there they can verify.
It’s 2025…. Own your sexuality. Have sex. Be safe. Make sure the person you’re sleeping with is on the same page. And definitely make sure your pleasure doesn’t take a backseat.
Yes it is a turn off for allot of men if you have slept with heaps of dudes before him. The definition of heaps varies from man to man.
Honestly it doesn’t matter as long as you practice safe sex. People this day and age want to make fun of others and put them down etc as they are ashamed of their selves so
21yrs old here, I forgot after 5 ppl. Keeping track is someone full of insecurities (or they got a good memory). Anyone who actually cares about it without keeping their own standards are assholes you need to stay away from. Most the time those ppl are double standards.
No one with their salt is going to care about body count as a general rule. Any man that makes a big deal about it isn’t worth dating; it’s a common fixation for men that are being insecure. If a guy starts talking about it, know that he isn’t mature enough to be dating and it’s likely he needs to do a lot of work on himself to address his insecurities.
It’s a little different for religious communities, of course, but yeah.
>does body count matter when you get older?
No one cares how many people grandma slept with in her day.
It matters to some, but it doesn’t matter to all, it depends on who you ask.
it doesn’t matter. only incels talk like that. if any dude ever says the words “body count” around you and it isn’t derision of the idea that this matters in any way, run away from them. live the life you want to live. feel no shame.
i, and a lot of dudes, prefer experience. i’m not trying to teach someone some shit. i want a partner, not a student.
forget social media, be you. My best advice to you is dont do anything you would regret in the future. If you are in a relationship with someone and you go that far is one thing but a one night stand with some rando is something you will look back on with regret eventually. just do right by yourself and make sure you can look yourself in the mirror every day with pride. nothing else really matters.
You’re worried about the wrong things. You should practice safe sex, regularly get tested, and only share your body if YOU want to share it.
No one grown cares about “body count.”
No
Please don’t ever self shame because of others. You don’t deserve that, and it will lead to unhealthy lack of self awareness. As far as Sex it’s OK to wait, but definitely want to talk to your partner about how you feel both about them and about that activity and the anxiety you have regarding social outcomes. You will likely develop a level of trust with that person that will put you at ease, our you will learn something about that person they will be a clear sign they are not → for you. I don’t even know you and I respect you… Someone who cares about you should respect you 10-fold. Good luck
Now, repeat after me —
It’s OK to wait
It’s OK to wait
It’s OK to wait
It’s OK to wait
It’s OK to wait
It’s OK to wait
It’s OK to wait
It’s OK to wait
Shaming people for their body count is very much a teenage/early 20s slut-shaming BS way of thinking. It does stop mattering as much as we age. I think people of all ages should stop slut shaming but I digress.
Whether someone cares about my body count is a great way for me to avoid losers when dating – if they have an issue, that’s their problem, and I just move on to someone better. If anything, I am proud of my high body count because I had a ton of fun and learned a ton of skills and techniques that make me better in bed.
Plus, anyone who expects someone in their 40s to have only slept with a couple of people is delulu to the max.
While I won’t kick someone with a low body count out of bed, I prefer dating those with similar levels of skill and experience (and that’s never a low body count individual in my experience).
For a serial killer, yes
I’d say it mattered to me to an extent (if they were in proper relationships that’s totally fine) but that’s because it would let me see how that person view sex, as I see it as intimacy and if they are emotionally distant and didn’t see it as a “big deal” when it comes to sex/intimacy it would never work! An emotionally and physically distant partner is no good! That’s just MO :). Also like I don’t do casual it doesn’t work for me and I only do serious committed… 🙂
From a spiritual point of view, we don’t really recommend people sleeping more than 3+ people in one life time basically because everyone you slept with you also share a piece of your spiritual connection with them and when that connection continues onto your next life cycle you might also see some blockages with the true love connection you’re wanting to be with and that is rough for many.
If you go through many hypotheses videos online you’d realize a lot of the relationship problems or even third wheel situations or many more relationship blockages were mainly from these past life connections. You may enjoy it short term but is gonna hit you hard if you know what I am talking about. 🫤
Your body count is your business no one else’s if somebody has an issue with your body count, they are not worth your time. Move past them and be happy with your choices.
It literally does not matter unless you go telling prudes about it, and any partner prudish enough to care isn’t going to be very interesting.
No it doesn’t matter. And there is no reason for you to even share it either.