It’s been a year and a half, I thought I was over her but my friend stupidly told me she’s posting her new boyfriend (I’m blocked and she unfollowed all my family and friends but my mates girlfriend) and now I feel like throwing myself off a roof (not literally).
How did you get over an ex who it took you a long time to get over?
Comments
By sleeping with a bunch of other women.
Time, shorter if you know why. Longer if you don’t. There are some things you won’t get over until you hit the milestone. Your partner moving on is one of them. Another will be when you get back into a relationship and something triggers you for lack it a better terms. We don’t really get to choose when greif strikes. Hang in there buddy
Time and like 18 therapy appointments
They were a bitch so wasn’t hard.
Time away from her, I had to block her on everything, not knowing about her life. Tell your friend you don’t want to hear about her
They say the best way to get over a woman is to get under another woman. Eventually, you’ll find someone that occupies your time and space. There will always be flashbacks…find some hobbies or something else to fill your free time.
Time. I was married for 30 years and she walked out four years ago. The first time I heard about the new guy was the worst. It no longer bothers me at all. Hang in there.
Never have. It came down to reminiscing once a month with a song we shared and no correspondence, 1 picture together that I do not have. I’m okay with that. Hope she’s happy.
Time. Even when it felt like no amount of time would ever work, it was time that did it the most. That and getting out there again and dating and getting more sparks going and realizing the ex wasn’t the end all be all.
Realised she was fucking nuts and not worth it future. Some good times but didn’t outweigh the bad. Felt sorry for her but her childhood wasn’t my fault. Relieved it was over should have done it sooner.
Time is the biggest healer of all.
Depends on why the split up happened, i wont tolerate being lied too or used… so my underlaying mind did the rest, the issue is i now see almost everyone lies so i just about closed the door on anything social above turning up and listing to a talk at a convention.
It happens naturally as soon as you find someone better.
Time, therapy, and she did a lot of things after the divorce that was uncalled for. Only talk when it’s about the kids. I keep my life private and don’t question her about hers.
She got married and that helped alot.
Try to ask yourself, why her new relationship bothers you? The issue may be deeper than just wanting another girl so rebound may not help.
People often suggest therapy for questions like this one. Imo, feels too generic. Self-reflection is also a viable option. Look into yourself to actually understand what’s the root issue.
I was in the same situation. Thought about it for a while, and came to a conclusion that I was just feeling jealous because I couldn’t get into new relationship. And I started unraveling my mental issues bit by bit from that point.
Write/list all the bad parts of the relationship and, if you are stuck for inspiration, see a therapist; they will highlight all the ways it was not healthy and/or did not have a future.
Fall for someone else, that’s really the only way.
I was over her before it was over.
Friends that give you that kind of info don’t have your best interest in mind!
Thanks to another girl during a party, something clicked inside of me, I still have some regret about my ex, but at least I m free from my obsession over her and am able to have interest in other woman again.
Im like 90% over her, it’s the loneliness that keeps the pain going.
I’ve accepted that she cheated twice, as I reflected on what happened in the relationship and how both of us weren’t really too happy and I didn’t want to be alone.
I’ve accepted that she was emotionally involved with another guy for the last 3 months of our relationship. I wouldn’t doubt physically either, as she brazenly told me that another man kissed her and she thought nothing of it. Sleeping in another man house, him feeding and taking care of her, things I couldn’t do (she moved away for a new job) and she wanted her space (it was bs obviously but I fell for it)
I’ve accepted that now, she’s married to him, and they have a kid. Something we spoke about early into the relationship, and I really did want to marry her. She honestly did love me in the beginning but so many different factors and things damaged our relationship before the first cheating incident (she went to see another man in upstate Ny) and I took her back because I was still in love with her. I even went to see her and kissed her before I went to go chill at a “at that time” friend house. I had no intention of moving on like she did at that moment.
The pain of loneliness is the only thing that remains as she was the first person in my life that made me feel…happy, and like a person? She showed me what genuine love was in the beginning and it was nice.
She ain’t giving you a second thought while she’s getting railed by the new guy. Don’t let her live rent free in your head. Move on.
The best way to get over your ex is recovering your self worth and understanding why it didn’t work and why it will never work.
A lot of people don’t get over their exes because they’re fixated on an idealized version of that person that either doesn’t exist anymore o never did in the first place.
Many see a breakup as a competition and if the other party starts a relationship before you, you might see it as you being unfit o having lesser value due to them preferring to be with someone else.
Get to know yourself and paint a clear picture of what you want and need. Then see what your ex gave you without rose tinted glasses and you’ll see that more likely than not they don’t match.
Good luck.
Fill your life with meaningful activities and learn to love yourself
Went and earned two doctorates from MIT.
By moving on with your own life aswell.. stop looking in her direction and start looking at your own.
It doesn’t matter if she has a new boyfriend, what matters is what are you doing with your own life.
And nothing is stopping you from finding another girl to be in a relationship with.
Yes, thoughts of her sleeping with other dudes will enter your mind at this point. Yes, I get it, it fucking sucks and hurts. You’re angry, pissed, you can’t accept reality. It’s all going to be there.
But it’s time to start turning the message and attention inwards. She’s moved on and so should you. Find a way to detach yourself from the outcomes, mourn, grief cry whatever. Go and get it out of your system it’s good for you.
A few months later and you’ll be non reactive, okay with it and maybe even happy and fortunate that she left so you can find someone better for you.
“why do i want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?” i’d ask myself that
Had three exes, one of the two I knew it wasn’t going anywhere and having had a health condition, I knew she’d be better off with someone healthy and successful.
Honestly? Time man……yeah those lingering thoughts come and go, but with time that image you had of her will no hit the same way as it did when you two first broke apart.
Example? I was deeply, crazily, stupidly, and obsessively attached and in love with a Palestinian girl, and it took YEARS for me to actually get over her. We stopped talking in October of 2018 and she’s since grown a family with a beautiful daughter, which it has a bitter sweet pain, though I’m proud of what she’s accomplished….i see her face, and sure I still see THAT girl I met when we were both 18, but I know she is NOT the same person and never will be.
Shit hurts, but like everyone has said, time and finding something to occupy your mind (recreational hobbies).
Time man, that’s it.
read this if you haven’t heard of the grief jar.
Been 25 yrs. Still not.
My wife, just friend at the time hired a private investigator who snapped photos of her cheating on me. She became my ex right after that.
More time
I was over her before I left her.
Well initially I thought I’d found someone else, but quickly realized we were not in the same place and moved on. Then I slept around and it was fun, but by the end I didn’t feel great about it. I was ready to be done dating for a while, give myself some time to heal and all that, and then I met my now wife and we have two children together.
My point I guess, if there is one, is that the ultimate thing is time (heal and Learn to enjoy your own company) and/or another person.
Learn to love yourself, be a person you’re proud to be and know why. Then you can start to be vulnerable with others and form real connections. If things go sour you are still with someone you love, yourself.
No matter what your relationship was I promised you, you can do better. Be your best self and find someone who loves you for it.
Generally speaking it is best to remove yourself from the person and avoid contact with them. That isn’t always practical or possible in the event that you have children together, assets, or share a workplace but generally out of sight out of mind is a good thing. Counselling is useful, drinking, drug use, and sleeping with a lot of other people to fill the void isn’t helpful. Time is also a great healer. I was once told that it takes about half the time the relationship lasted to get over it when it ends. I think that generally it is a good measure. Hitting the gym and doing some self improvement should be the actions that you seek throughout life but doing it at the end of a relationship is worthwhile. Trying to work on yourself to understand what role you played in the relationship not working and understanding how not to fall into that again is useful.
Time, and dating enough other women until you find one you want to stay with (with the feeling being mutual).
Have a one night stand, but make it like 5 nights with a new girl. It may help you out.
Time usually helps. Eventually I realized I wouldn’t even want to be with my ex if she popped up in my life. Not that she is a bad person but that I simply don’t think we are right for eachother. You need to realize that if you were right for eachother then you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place. Go find a woman who can make you happy.
Treating myself as an extension, and giving care to that extension of myself like a pet dog or cat. I went and did things I liked, I exercised very hard, and I engaged my own thoughts in conversation to reveal to myself what the root of my pain was and why it was there.
Rx New Girlfriend.
I think you’re beating yourself up too much about this affecting you. Just because hearing about her bothered you doesn’t mean you literally made no progress.
It threw you for a loop a bit. That’s ok. When you think about it a week from now it won’t bother you as much. A month from now even less.
You’re not literally back at square one. Just keep doing whatever you’ve been doing. You’ll be ok.
By listening to this (How to fix a broken heart) on repeat for about 3 weeks.
Best way to get over the last one is with the next one
I never have. It really sucks 🥺
Stay strong friend ✊🏻
Surround yourself with family/friends who will listen and let you mourn the relationship until you’ve had enough.
Focus on myself, going to the gym and/or picking up a new task/hobby that I’ve been putting off for a stupid excuse.
Telling myself, little by little, that this was a learning experience, for the best, and that all things will pass.
Enjoy the new, stronger version of myself and thank myself/the other person for breaking up and allowing myself to grow as a person.
Early on I kept everything that was from our relationship from pictures to clothes or things she had gotten me out of site. They hurt to have around but didn’t have the heart to throw them away. When I made peace with the fact that it was definitely over, I still didn’t have the heart to throw the stuff away so I shipped it all in a box to her to let her decide what to do with it. I also moved out of the house we had been renting together to change scenery.
Other than that, it just took time for the strong feelings to subside but in the meantime I made it a point to distract myself with hobbies and activities. Went to concerts, travelled, spent time with friends and family, etc. eventually it stopped hurting and I got better at focusing on all the great reasons why I was better off without her rather than the reasons I missed her. I also focused on my career and got more into fitness and basically just made myself happy and confident without her. The one thing I didn’t do was worry about dating at all. I was never the dating around type anyways but I just really didn’t want to be with anybody for awhile.
Eventually the one I always felt got away and knew her before my ex messaged me and were now married with a kid. Just keep your head up and keep going. It sucks but it does get better and you’ll get there.
Drinking and a job that was 14-18hrs a day 7 days a week for about 5 years. Would not recommend.
You don’t really “get over” someone , you just eventually stop checking if they posted again.
I found that I had to give her less credit for the journey I was on with her.
I feel like all the things I lost when we broke up were gone because I didn’t have her anymore.
Finding an intimate connection with someone wasn’t just all on her, I made that happen too.
Having a regular social life including her, and planning for the future was also part me too.
Regular sex, again not just her, obviously.
Being excited about a future and being in a stable relationship – well. That also included me.
We don’t break up and all those things are gone, I just needed to realise I could put them to use with someone else.
You have to mourn it and work towards accepting it.
Time. Just time.
Honestly I envy you. Everything is so tenuous in life that I find it extraordinarily easy to move on everytime.
Strippers and booze.
Become the best version of yourself and subsequently make her jealous of you.
Got under a bunch of other women.
I found my ex making out with someone other than who she was dating at that time. I was so relieved “ki bach gaye be*enc*od, kya r*ndi hai ye to”. Since then there’s been no looking back.
Its a scientific fact men sometimes never get over women.
All you can do is go no contact and get rid of anything that reminds you of her and go on with your life seeing other people.
Time
Leave social media, go dark mode, focus on yourself, work hard, develop new skills, read books, and stay close to family.
Life is too short to be hung up on exes.
Make sure you are doing it for yourself, and that you are not doing it to show off.
Honestly, you need to embrace yourself. Don’t sleep with a bunch of women. Worst advice ever. Once you are a complete person. Meaning you have spent enough time alone and are ok with it, you will be able to move on. Whatever the reasons were for your break up is a good thing to look at and help you grow. Don’t worry about what she is doing. Take that energy and focus it on yourself.
Made a list of the reasons I divorced her and pulled it up whenever I missed her.
Focused on work to distract myself – stayed late every day, came in on the weekends.
Made a point to have social time with friends at least twice a week.
Went to therapy for half a year to talk about it and get affirmation.
Started dating after a year and had a few short term relationships and casual dates for a couple years before I found someone I really liked.
Moved on to the next ex