No longer in love – we just had a daughter

Me(30F) & my boyfriend(34M) have been dating for 4 years & always had a rocky relationship. For some idiotic reason we decided to have a baby together after being broken up for 4 months. We were on that “I missed you so much” high and honestly my daughter means EVERYTHING to me. I love her so much. However him, I no longer love him. I don’t care to kiss him, to hug him, to be touched by him. He’s as romantic as a boring grey rock. He has to always initiate sex. I only have sex with him to get off & to get him to just leave me alone. Last time we were having sex I was literally just staring at the ceiling hoping he would cum soon so he could just get off me. I hate his mindset. His mannerisms. His values. His goals. Everything about him. I wish I wasn’t experiencing my first time being a mother with him. He was super neglectful when I was pregnant and now he only cares about our daughter. We live with his mom and I’ve become so turned off watching him get treated like a literal baby by his mom. I have no room to be a housewife, let alone any type of wife to him. He has his mom for that. As if that wasn’t enough, he’s just a horrible boyfriend. Imagine, the meanest, most demanding, bullying, unromantic, manipulating person ever now times that by 10. He’s cheated on me, he’s addicted to dating apps, he has a wondering eye by a thousand. Hes absolutely horrible and my heart hurts every day. I know I can’t leave anytime soon. I’m not in a financial place to leave. My daughter is barely 6 months old. I can’t make the sacrifice of splitting up her time between her dad and I just so I can be happy. Her happiness comes first. I just…I wish I could find true love. I wish so badly I could be loved the way I love other people. Why did I do this to myself. won’t I harm her by forcing her to be in a split home situation so little? I honestly am staying so I can watch over her well. If I leave, he’s absolutely going to fight me over split custody so that he doesn’t have to pay child support. And he will win, because our state is not a mom state. So I’d have to live with knowing she’s all alone with him and his entire family who consists of 2 other grown adults and his mom and 2 semi aggressive dogs. I have nowhere else to go. Where I live is so unaffordable now. I wish I could leave and have her full time. I wish I had the money to take him to court properly. I wish so many things. I think this is why A LOT of moms stay. Staying here means ALL her needs are provided for financially by him. Foods on the table every day. I am always with her, taking care of her, watching over her. If I leave his mom is going to raise her and she will absolutely try to take her from me or change her in ways I wouldn’t hope for.