Male coworker in my office looks at me like a deer in headlights or like he has just seen a ghost?

r/

No idea why but it kinda makes me feel weird considering I didn’t do anything to him. I’m polite and friendly, I mind my business and do my work. He will be social/ chat/laugh/smile with all other colleagues both male and female around the office, but anytime I ever bump into him or engage him in conversation he literally looks terrified and doesn’t even crack a smile or try to engage.

After seeing him interact with others I have definitely noticed he is only like this with me. Cold- distant- avoidant. He’s probably 15 years older than me but that shouldn’t matter at work because everyone here is probably between the ages of 25-65.

I just don’t want a coworker to hate me since professional relationships are important and if there’s an issue I’d like to resolve it. But at the same time I don’t know if he’ll became more awkward if I addressed it. Also, I 100% get along with all my other coworkers here and everyone is cool.

Thoughts?

EDIT: from what I gather this man is unmarried no kids (idk if he has gf) and yes, people generally consider me to be a polished attractive woman and I don’t know if that’s part of it and he’s nervous etc. I’m not saying that to be conceited, just to give context— women around the office compliment me all the time

Comments

  1. ehtReacher Avatar

    I think he has forgotten your name.

  2. Adorable_Product_707 Avatar

    I totally get how uncomfortable that can feel. It’s important to trust your instincts! If it keeps bothering you, don’t hesitate to talk to someone about it. You deserve to feel safe and respected at work!

  3. sweetberrytwinkle Avatar

    He probably finds you intimidating or has a crush and doesn’t know how to act normal, but unless it affects work, it’s more about him than you.

  4. Highway_Song Avatar

    I think he likes you. You probably put him in fight or flight because he doesn’t know what to say.

  5. Novel_Helicopter_212 Avatar

    I’d leave it alone. Who knows what is going on. Endless possibilities. 

    Hopefully some organic opportunity will present itself to break the ice more.

  6. Flat_Fault_7802 Avatar

    He’s got the good old Fanny Fright

  7. porkchopexpress-1373 Avatar

    I worked with a lady that looked exactly like a deceased relative of mine and it shook me every time I seen her. I never could tell her as it would’ve been a weird conversation but I’m pretty sure because of my reaction a few times to her she was weirded out by me.

  8. neejagtrorintedet Avatar

    He thinks you’re hot. Or.. you’re hard to approach for him. Sometimes its just a feeling and energies dont match… or you’re his type.

  9. MysteriousTap7 Avatar

    He’s probably attracted to you and most men don’t know how to convey emotions properly so to not make you uncomfortable he just doesn’t say anything to you at all.

  10. fusannoshadowkick Avatar

    He’s probably intimidated by you. Whether its because he likes you or just doesn’t know how to talk to you. Don’t worry about it. Just be normal

  11. OutrageousSea5199 Avatar

    If you’re attractive looking woman there’s you’re answer, obviously dude is shy

  12. narrow_octopus Avatar

    Well, you have two options, you can let him stare or you can tell him to stop staring. The choice is up to you.

  13. Opening-Conflict3007 Avatar

    I bet now that you know theres a high chance its bc he likrd you maybe it won’t make you feel awkward atkeast less awkward lol 😅 atleast its not that he dislikes you for no reason lol

  14. Little_Bit_87 Avatar

    It could be so many things. The was this guy at a store I used to audit that looked almost identical to my ex that had passed away. Apparently I looked at him like this without even knowing. Interacting with him was torture and I felt horrible about it because he was a nice guy trying to be friendly. Sometimes it’s best to leave some things a mystery. If they’re meant to they will reveal an organic time to discover what’s behind the curtain.

  15. No_Will_8933 Avatar

    My guess is he thinks ur extremely attractive and is intimidated by you – would love to make conversation but doesn’t want to look like a fool by saying something dumb – beautiful women can have that effect on some men who feel socially insecure or who may have been rejected in the past – he most likely lacks self confidence and self esteem and sees himself as someone no beautiful woman would want to interact with never mind become friends

  16. nismoz32 Avatar

    He’s digging you. Good luck!

  17. Druid_High_Priest Avatar

    Perhaps you remind him of a person who caused him great pain in the past?

  18. SJEPA Avatar

    I had a girl do this shit when I was working retail. It was the most uncomfortable shit ever. I looked at her back because I thought it would stop, but she would deadass stare at me for minutes 🤣

    I’d ignore it and keep doing your thing. If it’s really bothering you, ask him what’s up

  19. janshell Avatar

    So why is everyone guessing? Why not ask him about it? You can remain professional and ask if he noticed he looks at you differently to other coworkers

  20. bIackcatttt Avatar

    Lmaoooo this is how I get if I find someone attractive so he probably thinks you’re pretty.

  21. feudalle Avatar

    Guy has poor social skills. Basically, that of a middle schooler. Im going to agree he likes you. Just let’s hope he doesn’t resort to hair pulling at recess.