Like the title suggest I’ve been having sexual fantasies about my best friend male 32. I female 30, have known my friend for over 15 years. We get along great we are really close and honestly, I love him platonically. In the past, we’ve never showed any romantic or sexual interest in one another. On one occasion, in our early 20s, he made a sexual advance and I blatantly denied him. Respectfully, he took my rejection to the chest, and nothing has happened since.
Fast-forward years later, he’s married to a woman that I personally adore. She is really good for him and keeps him in check. However, recently, he’s been confiding in me that he may not be happy in their sexual relationship. admittedly, my best friend is an attractive person and in these explicit conversations, I find myself fantasizing about being with him. It started about a 2 months ago and it has progressively gotten worse. Every time we are alone together.
Most recently, we were away with a group of friends, his wife was not on this trip. On the porch at night we started having an erotic conversation about kinks and we were standing so close, I was getting physically aroused. My mine can’t stop thinking of how it would’ve been if I allowed him to continue his sexual advance in our early 20s will we be hooking up this whole time? Would we be together not that I would want to be his wife it’s more I just have such sexual curiosity on how my best friend is in bed.
Help! Should I tell him? Part of me really wants to but it also seems like a bad idea.
Comments
just masturbate and slowly it’ll wear off.
Do not tell him and do not be alone with him. He is married. Whether or not he is happy with his sexual relationship with his wife is none of your concern and his telling you about it could be his subtle way of inviting you to take care of him. Do you really want to be the other woman? Do you think that if you give him incredible sex that he will leave his wife for you? Do you want all your friends to know you can’t be trusted around a married friend, that you are the type that will have sex with a married man just because you are attracted to him. Wake up! You can have whatever sexual fantasies you want and use them to masturbate, but if you really “adore” his wife then don’t mess with her marriage. Don’t think it will be a “one off”, don’t think it will do no harm. If you were married would you want a long time friend to have sex with your husband because he was complaining to her about your sex life? What kind of man does that? Why not discuss it with his wife and if that doesn’t solve the issue the marriage counseling and if that doesn’t solve the problem then divorce and once divorced he can have sex with whomever he wants.
Keep that to yourself instead of trying to be a homewrecker.
Uh no. Keep that to yourself
Imagine that you’re married and you have a male friend that approaches you with this scenario, but gender-swapped. How’s his approach turn out?
Let him know about the thoughts you’ve been having, but be clear that you have no intentions to get between him and his wife. Tell him that you understand if he wants to stop seeing you alone.
Then let him make his own life choices, and only do what you’re comfortable doing.
As sad as it may be for his wife, there is a non-zero chance that he’s unhappy but too scared or unwilling to be alone to divorce her. There is also a non-zero chance that he’s been respectful for 10years but still feels sexually attracted to you.
Of course, it’s very likely that he loves his wife and wants to spend his life with her and not you, so letting him know how you feel and giving him the time and space to process it and act however he wants is the best course of action.
Why would you tell him? He’s married, that would be so messed up. Absolutely terrible idea.
There is a lot of good advice here. Don’t take it any further and don’t be alone with him anymore. He is your friend and so is his wife. The two of you hooking up would be bad for everyone involved. Divorce is the solution for him, not cheating.
When was the last time you had sex? Definitely don’t tell him how you feel I feel like that will make things really fucking weird
Do not tell him, no good can come if it
Go after him! Seduce him….. Carpe Diem, Seize the Day!
Side note : This is the reason why no married man should have female friends and vice versa!
Ah yes, you reject him when he’s single and want to ruin his marriage when he’s married.
Women, anyone?
No, you don’t tell him. Realistically that’s not going to help anyone. Crushes and desires are obviously very normal, but when it comes to the point that you seriously consider putting it into real life by confessing it to him, you should stop spending time alone with him and definitely stop talking about sex and kinks alone with him. Stop entertaining it, he’s married and a confession would just lead to confusion and awkwardness.
You can’t do that to him. You aren’t his sexual relief valve. If he wants to work out that stuff with wife, you can’t give him an easy outlet.
Shut it down. This road only leads to heartbreak
Boundaries. You need boundaries. These conversations are inappropriate. It’s too intimate. The response is he needs to go talk it out with his wife.
The attraction is ok but you have to have an appropriate amount of space so that it never becomes a temptation.
If even one small thing happens between you and him, like a kiss, a flirty touch, or crossing a line, your friendship is probably over. If he tells his wife, their marriage might never recover. If he doesn’t, you’ll both be carrying a secret that could eat away at you and ruin the trust his wife and your friends have in you.
You’d be risking a 15 year friendship, his trust, her trust, and your own reputation over a fleeting fantasy.
It’s totally normal to have thoughts and feelings sometimes. You can’t always control what pops into your head, but you can control what you actually do. Keep it to yourself. If you need to deal with the sexual tension, do it in private, masturbate if that helps, and try to redirect your energy elsewhere.
Don’t tell him and don’t act on it. This is one of those times where staying quiet and keeping strong boundaries will save everyone a lot of pain.
Don ‘t ruin a good fantasy, you will just muck things up.
Don’t tell him anything. You rejected him years ago. Don’t wreck his marriage.
stop talking about sexual things with a married man.
Since you’re gonna eventually have sex with him, you’d better have a good cover story.
It’d better be a ONE TIME thing. Ya’ll better NOT get caught.
Of course you should, adults can handle these feelings sensibly. The issue is you need to understand you enjoy the fantasy him, that not the real him. When you see the real him it will dispel. So you start by explaining the situation and then he can explain how he would respond, you will begin to realise he would respond differently to your fantasy and slowly your fantasy will die.
Don’t tell him. Even if you have no plans to act on it, telling him while he’s frustrated in his own sex life will trigger things you all might not recover from. Especially if his wife is someone you “adore”
This is why men and women cant be friends if either is in a relationship. You never know when something can stir up at random times.
The thing with fantasies is they are always perfect in our own minds but in reality almost always a letdown.
Don’t destroy something special over this.
You don’t really want him or you would have when he was single. You only want what you can’t have now and should check your head.
Stop it.
You got only one life. Go for it
It’s fine to have these feelings n’ even fantasize…. but, DO NOT tell him, and don’t act on your urges, you seriously don’t wanna be “The home wrecker”….
Regardless whether or not he’s happy in his marriage, this is not a fine opportunity for you to jump in n’ satisfy a personal whim…. there’s consequences for stuff like this, don’t trash your friendship and his relationship
Girl, stop it. You’re a full grown adult. Have some self respect. You know that confessing can possibly lead to an affair. Don’t be a shitty woman.
Hahahahaha, same issue here.
Why are you alone with him having these conversations? That’s very disrespectful to his wife and not appropriate for either of you