How do I (35f) tell this woman (46f) that I don’t want to be her friend and that she needs to get it together?

r/

My daughter (5) made friends with a girl at gymnastics last summer. Her mother, Mary approached me and said we should set up a playdate for the kids. Mary has an autistic son that is 8 and a daughter that is also 5. We had few playdates and would chat during the one hour gymnastics classes. A few months ago, I had some extensive work done at my home and Mary said that she actually had her two guest rooms listed for rent online. She said she would much rather have me and my daughter than a stranger from online so we agreed on a market rate and I agreed to rent the rooms.

As it goes with home renovations, things have dragged on longer than anticipated. We have been renting with Mary and her kids for 3 months. During this time, it’s come to head that both of her child’s ten are unpotty trained. The boy is still in full time diapers and the 5 year old still has bowel movements on accent while playing and needs to be diapered. Potty training is not a topic and Mary makes no effort to poor train either fully. Both children wet the beds most night and the boy often soils himself with feces overnight. Mary suffers from anxiety and is prescribed a high dose of Valium for daily use, I found this out because she’s too anxious to drive and has me pick up her meds. After a few weeks of noticing that her kids only eat dinner when I cooked ( I would order out most nights or go eat at my family’s house” I started to cook for them almost every night. The 8 year old boy only eats French fries and ramen. Mary makes no attempt to introduce new foods or give a daily vitamin. Both her children have swollen bellies and are totally uncouth. The second they walk into the door from their other mother’s home, Mary hands them their iPads. You can image the effect this has had one them, they are totally rude and unmannered. Hard to be around due to total lack of care and parents. I don’t balen the kids. I’m not even exaggerating when I say she doesn’t not speak to or engage with her kids outside of giving them instructions on how to pack and leave. I watched as the house went uncleaned for weeks, if I didn’t vacuum or mop, it wasn’t done. I offered to vacuum her sons room and noticed that his bed was full of half eaten food and debris so I cleaned his bed. That was months ago and she has not done it since. Mary is a lesbian and spends all of her time on dating apps, on dates or on weekend trips as her kids go with her exes house from Thursday- Sunday every week. Mary is severely overweight but chooses to pursue women that I would consider 7/8s lol she treats these women to lavish dinners and trips while her kids have ripped clothes and notted hair. I have purchased her kids clothing and done their hair for picture day. When I moved back into my home, Mary professed her love for me, saying she misses me and loves me. I was appalled- I’m thinking no, you miss you live in maid and chef that paid half the mortgage.

Since moving back into my home, I have been trying to distance myself and ignore her advances. I have called CPS and am waiting to see what happens. Before moving out, I agreed to watch their dog for one day before the real dog sitter arrived. Mary is going on an 8 day cruise! The dog is an elderly chiweenie with anxiety and stomach issues. I arrived today after work to pick up the dog 4 hours after Mary departed. The dog had already had over 6 spots of diarrhea and throw up. I noticed there was blood on the stool and immediately called Mary. She was so nonchalant saying “oh yea I gave her some pepto before I left, I should have told you. She’s probably anxious. Can’t wait to see you when I get back ☺️”. Like hello bitch your dog is unwell and shitting blood. I actually hate her. How do I end this?

Comments

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  2. FunNSunVegasstyle60 Avatar

    Have you thought about reaching out to the ex?  

  3. stellabluebear Avatar

    You did the right thing in contacting CPS. You might want to talk to the gymnastics coach and/or a teacher at their school as well. Those folks can be a safe space for the children and they are mandated reporters. ETA – you can simply not respond to her texts. If your kid wants to still hang out with her kid, you can respond only to texts about the kids spending time together and/or tell her you prefer to limit your relationship to the kids.

  4. VinylHighway Avatar

    Grow some guts and just say No.

  5. outerheaven77 Avatar

    You straight up tell her. Or keep distancing yourself from her.