My girlfriend lives with her father. Apparently their relationship is strained a lot. She snapped me yesterday. Her head is bruised.
I’m not sure she’s being truthful about if he used a weapon. She’s terrified of him now, locking herself in her room. Her eye is swollen with a bruise on her head.
She’s terrified, scared it’ll happen again. She refused to report a domestic abuse report but I was wondering if I could. She shouldn’t fear for her safety.
She’s a beautiful tiny girl who couldn’t defend herself from a man way bigger than her. She was crying and shaking. I ordered her food because she’s scared to go out.
He ran away to his girlfriend’s house. He knows what he did was absolutely horrible. She refuses to say his location. I know that’s her dad and doesn’t want to see him put away.
What can I do besides be here for her?
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Help her move out, immediately. That is the priority. God knows how else he has abused her throughout her lifetime. This is a very disturbing situation.
Take pictures, document everything. You can call the police and they would advise you about what you could do, if she will or will not speak on the matter. It depends on where you’re located regarding if they could charge him without her cooperation.
Why does your 30 year old girlfriend live with her father?
That aside, she definitely needs to get away from him. Since she was the one assaulted, I’m pretty sure she’s the one who would have to report him. Did you witness it?
She’s a grown woman and you’re a grown man and this reads like something out of high school romance. Suggest that she move away from her father, but whatever she does it’s going to be her decision.
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You could always call the police with some kind of anonymous tip that there’s domestic violence going on in the home. But because your girlfriend is way into adulthood it wouldn’t be taken as seriously as if she were a child who couldn’t just leave. However, you need to ask yourself what it is you think would happen if the police did get involved. Assuming she’s living in her father’s home it’s not like he just permanently goes away and she gets to live in the home forever. If the police even bothered to check up on it they’d have to see the actual assault on video or something to hope to get the DA to prosecute. So in all likelihood if anything happens at all it would just be some minor annoyance to her dad that would make him even more angry. Unless your girlfriend is disabled in some way – in which case this would actually be something the police might act on – she should just make a plan to no longer live there. The most important thing for you to remember is that while you find this emotionally very troubling, it’s legally none of your business. So there’s just not really a lot you can do if she won’t even try to move out and get away from this. You can’t force a grown adult to save themselves if they refuse to.
If she won’t admit to the police what happened, they will be unable to arrest or charge him. Additionally, it will likely cause her to resent you for doing so before she was willing or ready.
Help her get out.