So a couple months ago I got laid off of work. My bf has been supportive and helping trying a get a new job (been together nearly 2 years)
I got extremely bored with my spare time, and revisited some fandoms I used to be a part of in highschool.
I got really invested into one however, and thought I’d give fanfiction a go. From experience reading it in highschool, it was always called cringe, or weird, or something else along those lines. I made an account and stayed anonymous while posting for 2 months. My issue is, this blew up. I don’t know what happened or what I did but I am crazy proud of myself.
I was too embarrassed at the start to tell my bf and I feel it may be too late.
And since I was anonymous I wanted to experiment with writing smut scenes (ALL LEGAL, no ageing up or any of that bullshit).
I dont know how he’ll take it, that I’ve secretly been writing 1st person smut about fictional charcters.
Like our intimate life if good, we’re both content and happy. I just almost feel guilty for not sharing this earlier and mostly embarrassed that ive been spending my time on this.
He isn’t the type of guy that would leave me for that type of this, hell this guy said he come support me if I became a stripper.
I’ve really enjoyed writing it and do want to continue.
Would you tell him?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I would solely to avoid the appearance of secrecy, ESPECIALLY if you are possibly drawing on ANY experiences that he could read into the material as being sourced from things you two have done / characters that bear any resemblence to you / him / anyone you might be romantically interested at all.
That’s where things can go wrong in this – he discovers your writing by someone else or other method and sees you incorporating things about HIM, intimate private, secret stuff, aspects changed or exaggerated that he sees as humiliating / unflattering – OR if there’s sexual chemistry between any character that is modeled after you could seem like you’re publicly broadcasting cheating fantasies effectively.
Better to have open and honest discussions beforehand rather than finding it later and seeing something “you didn’t intend” necessarily and is seen through those kind of lenses.
Sure. Nothing to be embarrassed about imo.
I would. No great relationship can be built on a lie. If he were to find out on his own, it probably wouldn’t go as good as if you approached it with him first!
Lots of people make a living writing smut.
Think of all the middle Americans lonely ladies you can tap into.
Honestly if my girlfriend was enjoying a new hobby I would be ok as long as it wasn’t effecting the relationship or putting us in compromised postion.
But this is all dependent on the person you are with.
Tell him. If it’s only been two months he should understand if you were slightly embarrassed to tell him. What you don’t want to happen is for him to find out in 6 months time, by that point it becomes proper secrecy
I took a college level creative writing class and one of the exercises they had us do was write some fan fiction. There’s nothing wrong with writing it, and there’s nothing wrong with writing erotic fiction. Writing should be something you enjoy. If this is what you like to write, there’s no need to be ashamed. In the immortal words of Taylor Swift, “haters gonna hate.” Let them and enjoy what makes you happy. It sounds like your boyfriend is a pretty accepting person, so I say go for it. Opening yourself up to him like that could bring you guys closer.
fic writers are the pioneers and the foundation of any fandom. own that shit! you didn’t tell him because you were shy about it.
Haha I did this too a good while back, depends on whether you think he’ll be alright with it or not. You dont want to end up in a position where he doesnt like it and pressures you to stop it.
Nothing wrong with what your doing, if you can make any money out of it that’s a bonus too.
“Hey, you should know I write smutty fanfiction sometimes. Do you want to know more about that?”
I don’t know my wife’s AO3 account but I know she has one.
It is terrifying that people need to ask this sort of question. Yes, you tell him. No, you don’t live out a secret hobby that you hide from your partner.
It’s going to get really weird if he finds out about this hobby/passion/side-gig from a source other than you. And even hearing it directly from you is going to get weirder and weirder the longer you hold off on literally talking about your current hobby with him.
Don’t be embarrassed. There’s a reason “romance” novels are the highest selling genre of book sales.
My wife started writing fan fiction as a hobby. I thought it was cool. She kept at it up and has written “smut” that has been published. I’m very proud of her and thinks it’s badass and sexy.
I’d just tell him exactly like this. Stumbling into something like this is definitely more “acceptable” in the off chance he’d have any sort of issue with this, but based on your last sentence I have a feeling he’s gonna be cool with it.
I don’t think the issue would be it being weird and dorky. Every not boring person has a dorky interest, and you need to be with somebody who accepts your individuality. This is presuming whatever “weird” stuff you’re into isn’t morally reprehensible.
I wonder if he’ll have questions about you writing smut though, and what it implies about your engagement with others over a sexual subject matter. For example I wouldn’t choose to date somebody who posts nudes. Never thought about smut writing, but I think I’d be fine unless I felt my partner was engaging with people over it. Some couples might be fine with that, I just wouldn’t.
Share your interest. Tell him exactly what you wrote. Be open to answering his questions and being aware of his concerns. At the end, you two need to decide if you can accept each other or not
Just tell him he might even help you brainstorm ideas for stories