I (18F) let my sister (32F) borrow my car at 1:30am. She promised to have it back by 6am, but that didn’t happen.
She kept telling me she was “on her way,” but I later found out that wasn’t true. Eventually, I discovered she left my car about 30 minutes away in a public car park — keys still in the ignition. I haven’t been able to get it back yet because I’ve been working, and I don’t have anyone who can help me retrieve it. I’m really stressed out about the car just sitting there, especially since I can’t legally drive it alone yet.
When I couldn’t get hold of her, I called her workplace trying to reach her. That’s when I learned she hasn’t been showing up to her shifts and had told them that multiple family members — our mom, our nan, and her dad — had passed away. None of that is true. Her boss said they already had doubts, but I confirmed the truth and provided proof that everyone’s alive. Because of this, she’s likely going to lose her job.
When we finally spoke, things escalated badly. We both said some horrible things. I told her I’d ruin her life by warning future boyfriends or employers (just an angry threat — I don’t actually plan to do that). I also swore on my dad’s grave that I’d never speak to her again. I know that was a dramatic and intense thing to say, and I regret it. For context: we don’t share a dad — mine passed away before I was born. She responded by saying I didn’t even know him and had no right to say that, which really hurt.
In the heat of that moment, I said something I truly regret: that I wished her previous overdose had worked. I didn’t mean it — it was an awful, impulsive thing to say, and I feel sick about it. I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt for it ever since.
Later, I also found out she wasn’t just picking up weed like she told me — she was using my car to deal coke. I honestly don’t even know what to say to that.
I’ve gone no contact and told my mom and nan everything. But I can’t stop thinking about whether I crossed a line — especially with what I said and what I told her job. So… AITA?
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I (18F) let my sister (32F) borrow my car at 1:30am. She promised to have it back by 6am, but that didn’t happen.
She kept telling me she was “on her way,” but I later found out that wasn’t true. Eventually, I discovered she left my car about 30 minutes away in a public car park — keys still in the ignition. I haven’t been able to get it back yet because I’ve been working, and I don’t have anyone who can help me retrieve it. I’m really stressed out about the car just sitting there, especially since I can’t legally drive it alone yet.
When I couldn’t get hold of her, I called her workplace trying to reach her. That’s when I learned she hasn’t been showing up to her shifts and had told them that multiple family members — our mom, our nan, and her dad — had passed away. None of that is true. Her boss said they already had doubts, but I confirmed the truth and provided proof that everyone’s alive. Because of this, she’s likely going to lose her job.
When we finally spoke, things escalated badly. We both said some horrible things. I told her I’d ruin her life by warning future boyfriends or employers (just an angry threat — I don’t actually plan to do that). I also swore on my dad’s grave that I’d never speak to her again. I know that was a dramatic and intense thing to say, and I regret it. For context: we don’t share a dad — mine passed away before I was born. She responded by saying I didn’t even know him and had no right to say that, which really hurt.
In the heat of that moment, I said something I truly regret: that I wished her previous overdose had worked. I didn’t mean it — it was an awful, impulsive thing to say, and I feel sick about it. I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt for it ever since.
Later, I also found out she wasn’t just picking up weed like she told me — she was using my car to deal coke. I honestly don’t even know what to say to that.
I’ve gone no contact and told my mom and nan everything. But I can’t stop thinking about whether I crossed a line — especially with what I said and what I told her job. So… AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my sister I wished her overdose worked, that’s just not a good thing to say to someone
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Don’t let her ruin your life. Stay away from her.
NTA. It wasn’t nice to say and shouldn’t be said again, but making a mistake in the heat of the moment is human, not AH-behavior. Don’t lend her anything.
NTA—she’s a train wreck of a human. Leave her to the gutters if this is how she treats family
NTA. We all say things in anger that we don’t mean. Apologize but then go No contact. Your sister sounds like a mess. You are only 18 and she is taking advantage of you. If she is lying to her job, not showing up, dealing drugs, it’s not your fault if she losses her job. They knew she was lying. Unfortunately, you have to protect yourself from people like this, even if they are family. Best of luck.
ESH. Not about the job; you called there looking for her. And she was going to lose her job anyway, with all the no-shows and lies. Maybe you sped it up a bit, but not by much. But all the horrible things you said to her, totally unnecessary. All you had to do was never lend her the car again. Or trust her in any other way. No need for all the attacks.
NTA you know you can get arrested for her dealing coke in your car. If she leaves amy behind and you get pulled over too. Police could be watching your car for drug deals now. I’d have to report her and sell the car