20F) was a tad bit assaulted by my (24M) husband, my husband did this thing that he made a finger gun and poked my asshole. I told him how I disliked it and never to do it again. He then went on a rant about this thing Japanese people have a prank thing they do. Which is called “kanchō” I told him that I would never let anyone do that as it disrespects my boundaries. He then made a comment saying so what would you do if a kid did it to you in Japan. Mind you this is a child’s game, I understand the culture is different, but I refuse to feel uncomfortable. I then told him, I’d grab the child’s game and tell them I do not appreciate them doing that to me. He then went on a rant about how I wasn’t accepting the culture.
For more context me and my husband are not Japanese he just enjoys anime and the culture he has talked about visiting one day. But he is not Japanese
So aith for telling my husband I disliked this game.
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20F) was a tad bit assaulted by my (24M) husband, my husband did this thing that he made a finger gun and poked my asshole. I told him how I disliked it and never to do it again. He then went on a rant about this thing Japanese people have a prank thing they do. Which is called “kanchō” I told him that I would never let anyone do that as it disrespects my boundaries. He then made a comment saying so what would you do if a kid did it to you in Japan. Mind you this is a child’s game, I understand the culture is different, but I refuse to feel uncomfortable. I then told him, I’d grab the child’s game and tell them I do not appreciate them doing that to me. He then went on a rant about how I wasn’t accepting the culture.
So aith for telling my husband I disliked this game.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Well my husband was basically saying I didn’t respect the culture and I didn’t feel as though I did that.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA it sounds like he’s trying to justify his behavior over your reaction.
“The Incans would sacrifice someone and take out their still beating heart so if you don’t let someone who isn’t Incan take out your heart then you aren’t respecting their culture.”
Your husband is a moron on a couple levels and perhaps a disgusting weeb. NTA
There’s a child game in Japan where children run around with finger guns and poke each other in the asshole while yelling Kancho? Is that Japanese for “Bang”? I don’t get it.
No. You’re not the asshole for getting upset when your husband unexpectedly pokes you in the asshole with his finger gun. How would he like it if you jabbed your finger in his ass? That’s exactly what I would do in your situation. Wait until he doesn’t expect it and jab your finger straight up his ass. Knuckle deep. When he gets upset say “Oh sorry.. uhh. kancho?”
He’s a jerk. Also that’s an unwanted sexual assault and arguably a form of rape.
NTA
That’s a CHILD’S game?! WTF?
NTA
NTA, obviously.
Is your husband Japanese? If yes he is still an asshole. If not he is an enormous asshole.
Are either of you Japanese?
My answer is NTA either way I’m just confused as to why he would just randomly doing it/bringing it up
Are you in Japan? Is your husband a Japanese child?
You are definitely NTA and your husband sounds like he needs to grow up
YTA…..its just a butthole. A Lil poke ain’t gonna do no harm.
Your first mistake was getting married at 20
Did they did it with two fingers?
I think I saw that kids game a time or two in Indonesia, too. Maybe the kids had seen a Japanese TV show or something like that because I did not see it a lot. It’s an awful game. It’s terrible for the victim… just an awful game, and the perpetrator can end up with some nasty sticky fingertips. There is no winner in this evil little kids game.
Tell him to wash his fingers and use soap.
Learn about pegging and teach him to respect your culture
NTA, and your husband isn’t eight. This isn’t even behavior that is acceptable in Japan once you’re old enough to like consistently tie your own shoes. Like teenage boys or whatever might still do it to each other the way that teenage boys in the west will still do immature shit with their close friends but no one would find it cute that an adult is doing that. And if he tried it on an adult there, he’d end up talking to a representative from his embassy while he was in police custody
NTA, but do you really need strangers on the internet telling you it’s fine to feel upset when someone aggressively pokes your butthole? Some things should just be common sense.
EDIT: your post history describes your husband as 26, 24 and 22 within 2 months. Silly me for falling for this rage bait.
In France, we call that an “olive”. Goes well with the genital grabbing “chat-bite”.
That’s 100% not ok to do unprompted.
NTA because, um, that’s assault.
Pranks that cause physical or emotional harm are not pranks, they are assault and/or battery. And cruel. And they destroy trust. And what is left of a relationship (any relationship) if there’s no trust?
I’m in Japan, so I’ll provide a little context. Firstly, NTA, your husband is cringe as fuck.
Kancho is to Japanese kids as “indian rope burns,” slapping hands as hard as possible, or hitting someone in the testicles is to western children… any kind of “child’s play” that is meant to induce pain. It’s most certainly not a casual game, it’s just a learned thing that people do and mostly just fun when you’re not on the receiving end of it.
There are some anime and games which reference Kancho for humorous effect. But seeing it in an anime does NOT mean it’s a casual thing to do, especially NOT BY adults. I don’t use the term often, but your adult husband is cringe as hell for trying to make Kancho normal. Claiming it’s part of a foreign culture so therefore YOU need to respect it and allow him to do so?
I have spent much of the last 15 years surrounded by friends and acquaintances who make Japan their whole identify. Even then, i’d be mortified if I was seen associating with a grown adult who is making the arguments your hubby is. Gross.
This is so bizarre. Neither of you are Japanese…. are you planning on moving to Japan or spend significant portion of time in Japan?
Unless huge context is missing, your husband is being ridiculous
Interesting that the aspect of Japanese culture he’s embracing is the one where he pokes your asshole without your consent.
Like, on god, why do weirdos only “appreciate” the parts that cater to their perversions?
NTA.
You not liking this doesn’t mean that you don’t appreciate Japanese culture.
I like japanese culture myself. I taught myself the language for fun a few years ago, then learned about anime, more of the culture, etc, these past few years. And I can tell you for a fact that you not liking kanchō doesn’t determine whether or not you truly appreciate Japanese culture.
He just seems like he’s being immature
YTA
NTA. Your husband needs to grow up. Assaulting someone in the name of a game or culture (that neither of you are apart of) is deeply weird and concerning. If he cannot respect your boundaries, respect yourself and leave him.
Your husband may have an alter ego named frank. He will become a renowned r&b pop musician in the future.
€:^(‘) <—homer