What’s something a woman has done on a first date that completely turned you off regardless of how attractive she was?
What’s something a woman has done on a first date that completely turned you off regardless of how attractive she was?
r/AskMen
What’s something a woman has done on a first date that completely turned you off regardless of how attractive she was?
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Being on her phone the whole time
Talk all about her various medical issues for an uninterrupted 45 minutes.
Second date but got drunk enough that I had to look after her.
Don’t mind drinking at all but you are your own responsibility.
She invited her friend, without telling me, for “security” and expected me to pay for the both of them the restaurant was already a bit pricey for two people for three it was ridiculous. Especially because they tried ordering some of the most expensive things on the menu.
Why does everyone keep asking me if I bailed? Yes, like I explained in the comment right after this one.
>I waited for them to order, told the waitress I needed some more time but to go ahead with their orders, went to the bathroom, then just left.
I guess this wasn’t an official date, but the first time I was hanging out with this girl I really really liked. Previously I would give her rides home all week since she didn’t drive and we’d end up talking in the car until early morning.
I was teaching her how to drive on a Saturday, and offered to grab food. She got the most expensive thing on the menu (it was a ramen place so it wasn’t anything crazy), but said she wasn’t hungry and just wondered what it tasted like, which I thought was odd. I obviously paid and she didn’t say thank you or anything. Wasn’t the deal breaker but was odd in my opinion.
Then I offered her to go ice skating with my friends. She intentionally ignored me the whole time, when she needed help or had a question, made sure to ask my guy friends, and when I tried to ice skate near her, she said, “I like to go fast” and left me. And then in the car she went back to being herself, all talkative and nice towards me, but at that point I just wanted to get to her house, drop her off, and never speak with her lol.
Bragged about dropping out of high school and having a job that allowed her to rent a room from her mother.
Started talking about how many kids we were going to have, when and where she would want our wedding to be
She’s married with kids now, so well done her
talked at length about her recent ex boyfriend and his good and bad qualities.
One told me I looked like my bathroom was clean.
Another lady told me I looked like I only date white girls so she almost didn’t come.
Neither got a second date.
One would only talk about her ex. Another was rude to the waitress.
She dropped the N word.
Smelled like BO
First showed me a pink bag full of BDSM stuff, even though we had disclosed before our first date that it wasn’t for me. But after that a pic of her ex-boyfriends penis in a chastity cage.
Yeah, there was no second date.
Started picking her teeth with her extremely long nails after eating.
She was more than a little mean to our young waitress, who handled it well, but shouldn’t’ve had to. I was stunned. Particularly as she also worked in hospo. Some sort of weird flex perhaps?
Revealed that she lied on her profile about not being a smoker by way of making us stand in the freezing cold outside a book store while she had a cigarette, then smelled like smoke the rest of the date.
Every time she brought a round of drinks, I’d have one and she’d have one. When I bought a round she’d want two (usually a drink with a bottle of water).
A small thing in the grand scheme of things, but it was odd.
Other than that, all of my first dates were absolutely tip-top.
Chain smoked almost the whole date then got totally wasted after dinner & passed out. This meeting came out of lots of calls to a coworker at another location so I didn’t know anything but her voice. Terrible mistake
She took a shot of whiskey in her mouth, kissed me and squirted from her mouth in my mouth. I wasn’t expecting it and choked. Whiskey really burns down the airway.
Smoked
Flexing her past and bodycount.
Complain about her ex husband incessantly. Literally the whole night. She had been divorced for 8 years.
Blind date. I pick her up and walk to the car. She gets in, I shut the door and walk around. In that time, she had a cigarette out and ready to light. I don’t date smokers and the audacity to think she could light up in my car. I said this is not going to work and she should get out.
Smokeshow physically and literally. Shame.
Chewed with her mouth open. Actually was a girl I was fucking with for a couple months – weirdly happened to be the first time we ate together. Phased her out right after that.
She put an unlit cigarette in her lips as soon as the meal was over and just kinda kept it there until the bill was paid. Then she made a dash for the door to smoke outside.
This was back in college, she was the most boring person I’ve ever met. She was a nursing major and couldn’t talk about anything except her major. She seemed to have no interests or hobbies etc. She just wanted to get her degree and get out into the world. This was back in the before times when at best social media was AIM and MySpace wasn’t even out yet. So most people still had interests and hobbies that weren’t doom scrolling and tik tok.
Revealed she has the tastes of a typical suburban American 5 year old (nuggets, fries, plain pasta, pizza).
If your response to sushi is “i don’t eat raw fish” or to salsa is “too spicy,” it’s a deal breaker
Showed me pics of her minge. Poor thing looked brutalised…
Brought her mom, dad, and little brother. They bought tickets behind us in the movie theater to just loom over us the entire time.
She got unbelievably upset at me in the middle of the date because I didn’t want to make out in front of her entire immediate family. So weird
Racism.
First date with a South African/Israeli girl. About seven years ago. Hinge match. Went for dinner. She started telling me how Palestinians had never actually lived in Israel aside from in very recent history and were “gutter Arabs”.
I pointed out that the Greeks named them in deep time, but she was hostile to scholarship.
Only time I’ve ever walked away from another person at a table.
The job interview style date where it’s just her playing 20 questions.
Total turnoff. Have an organic conversation, or hard pass. Told her I wasn’t feeling the vibe and since it was a coffee date I just left a $10 for what I’d ordered and left.
Hooked up with a woman at a friend’s wedding then went to dinner with her the next weekend. 20 minutes into the date she wanted to know how much was in my bank account. She got mad and left when I asked why she wanted to know. Was she gonna charge me this time? Was the first fuck free or something?
Talked about how she never wants to drive a car which is why she doesn’t have a license and doesn’t want to ever work more than part time. How the guy she wants to find is one who can go to concerts multiple times a week even on weekdays. Like for real we are in our 30s and you live in your mom’s garage, grow up. I love music too but her mom’s near 70 and I wonder if she realizes how screwed she is going to be when that woman dies. Met her before years ago back when she had an abusive guy who was in a friend’s band, who hit her. Unfortunately trash guys like that is all she’s going to find with that type of life. Nice girl, feel bad for her but had to walk away from that as there’s just no future with a person like that.
She just didn’t put her damn phone down.
I said “this was fun, have a nice life and give my regards to Chad from IG” and walked.
She was bat shit pissed and wouldn’t stop texting me calling me every insult in the book, and tried inviting herself over for angry sex. I was so physically repulsed by her that I denied her despite her being a nine.
Just non stop talk about herself
I don’t date, but I was at a bar once and this pretty hot girl came over and told me she was on a date and he was boring so she came over to talk to me and I was like “…so you just ditched him? Wtf”
She got MAD lol.
She did show in like gym clothing super tight and leaving no room for imagination and on top of that completely covered in dog hair. Mind you her clothing was completely black and the dog hair was pure white. I love dogs, I understand that they shed hair and it goes anywhere but I also know that it’s not because of that the owner should look like a fur ball. It was almost like a telling about a lack of hygiene or the capability of taking care of your own thing.
She is an amazing person and her dog is a good boy husky full of personality but I didn’t see us working.
Yelled “well this is boring” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
We’d just gotten our meals and i was enjoying my food.
Didn’t even realise she had an issue. We’d been talking up till that.
I finished my food got up, said i was going to the toilet, paid for myself and left.
She got a text from Ryan when we were sitting in her car that said “We had plans tonight. No call?” then Ryan showed up at her house and he was not happy.
She told me she “needed” therapy 3 days a week
Now to some that might sound bad but hear me out. I’m huge advocate for therapy, I go, I talk to my guy friends about going, I’m a big proponent of it.
3 times a week is a lot. That means you have some really deep rooted issues / trauma / self improvement you need to do. To me it means you are not in a place to enter a relationship if you have that much baggage
She invited me to her home to have a bottle of wine. I asked what kind she preferred. She said red. So I brought two bottles of something really nice. She said „oh, you brought so much alcohol, I hope you’re not thinking we’re having sex”.
Then she proceeded talking almost exclusively about her career, and how successful she was. Then how cool it was that she was promoted as a partner. There were two partners, with 49% each, and she had 2%. I told her great…
Then she told me how her boss (one of the partners) was the most important man in her life, who actually helped her emotionally and physically, and made insinuations on how they were having an affair.
It’s hard to explain but the entire evening was disgusting.
She was without any freakin reason totally rude to the waitress and talked to her, like she was stupid. Before we ordered the meal, i paid my part of drinks, excused me to the waitress and left.
We went to a bar she suggested over the one I had picked. When I got there, she was listening to her own music and complaining about what they were playing at the bar that she picked.
Had a smelly apartment with rabbits running around a little too free for my taste. ‘needed’ to smoke weed before we fuck. Nothing against weed, but ‘needs’? Urgh.
She didn’t seem all that interested in me. Like she seemed interested but didn’t really ask me about my hobbies, my interests, aspirations or goals. To top it off when I tried getting to know her and what she does besides work the response was terrible.
It was “ohhh nothing besides tiktok”. Wtf am I supposed to do with that? I don’t use tiktok and besides asking if she follows any creators, seen anything interesting, or what topics she watches there’s not much to be said. Like you gotta do something aside stare at a phone when you have free time right? I was already on the fence but that just killed it.
I kissed her, she kissed me back, then kindly pushed me after 10 seconds. We talked more, noticed her looking at my lips, I repeated the same.
We talked more, then she kisses me, I kiss her back, then pushes me away. After 4 times I got tired.
When I went back home, she messaged asking me why I didn’t pushed for it more.
Sat there the whole night when we went out for dinner and talked about her ex-boyfriend. After I paid and before I got in the truck I looked at her and said I think you should try to rekindle the relationship with him. She looked shocked. All I did was mention that the entire evening all she did was talk about him and nothing more. I never contacted her again.
She told me that she’s immune to covid. Apparently, disease is a state of mind and if you don’t believe you can get sick, you won’t. A negative mindset lets it in. Yeah, it’s a yikes for me, dawg.
we went on a dinner date. she ordered her meal, and a meal + a salad to-go.
absurdly gorgeous, but i wanted nothing to do with anyone who had that kind of Beggar’s Audacity.
I told her I was an EMT. Her eyes widened and she said, “So that means you can get, like, pills and stuff right?!?!”
No. No I can’t. Have a nice life.
Heroin
spent the entire date complaining about her ex.
showed up late and clearly hadn’t showered after going to the gym
showed up early and was 3 sheets to the wind by the time I got there
looked completely different…like 100% used someone else’s photos on the dating app
Needless to say, I just removed myself from the dating pool a while back and am just letting fate decide whether or not I find someone….less awkward first dates that way
We’d already hung out a few times in a group (my mate was matchmaking us.) On our first proper date as the two of us, she did the racisms. She’s one of the white South Africans that things the end of apartheid was a bad thing. When I called her out on it she responded with “Black people in South Africa are different.” Swiftly finished my drink and left.
The close friend who set us up also turned out to be racist.
Told me she hates emotionally unavailable men, and then gave me a big lecture about all the things she doesn’t want to hear from a man. She basically wanted a man who expressed a lot of emotion towards her, but only approved emotions and nothing that would inconvenience her.
Getting the food off her fork with her teeth. I asked her wtf she was doing and she said it’s sexy, it really wasn’t it made her look stupid. Don’t think she grasped the difference between seeing something on a movie or tv show and real life
After asking why my last relationship ended, hearing I’d been cheated on, said she thought cheating wasn’t bad and that she’s cheated on a number of partners.
A date has never ended so fast.
She wanted me to buy her an iPhone.
I ain’t never been so offended in my life.
She actually picked me up as I was running a little late. She was the SCARIEST driver I have ever been in the car with. Drove way too fast. Was up the ass of anyone who dared be in front of us. Zero seatbelt. There was no way I was going on another date with this person. We had a nice meal, the conversation was ok, and we both just agreed we weren’t feeling it and i insisted on ubering home.
I went out on a date with a highly successful business woman and she treated the wait staff at the restaurant terribly. She was rude and condescending. When she went to the restroom I apologized to the server for her behavior, asked for the check (I left a nice tip), and called it an evening. I did wait for her to return to the table before ending the date, so I didn’t ditch her. It was too bad – she was attractive and was apparently quite wealthy. In the overall scheme of things, those things are pretty insignificant to being happy long term.
Had a couple that were terrible.
First was someone that just talked about work and themselves the entire time, but always came back to her work somehow. It was her life.
Second, she didn’t ask any questions. Just answered mine and hardly talked. I’m 99% sure she wanted a free meal. It was after that when I stopped going to dinner for a first date or started asking the date to pay half.
She kept using the phrase “needless to say” like a million times. Maybe she was nervous or something but after a while it started to hurt my brain every time I heard her say that phrase. I mean, if it’s needless to say, stop saying it.
Years ago I had a great date with a lady. We clicked and agreed on a second date. As I walked her to her car she says, “Oh before I forget, I need about forty dollars.”
I didn’t understand what she said. She repeated herself and added, “To pay for gas and the baby sitter.”
Again, I was a bit confused. She explained that since she drove her car to see me, I owed her gas money. Since she had a friend watch her kid, she needed money to pay for that.
I wasn’t willing. She told me it was either pay for it, or this was our last date. I said it was our last date and left.
She was beautiful, too. At least up until that point. When she asked me to pay for gas and a baby sitter, I just lost all attraction.
Side note: this was late 1990s and we were in our 20s.
We went for dinner and started talking about our lives and career ambitions. She said she wanted to be a law clerk and was going through school to complete the program before she went on to tell me about all of the illegal activities she was involved with and how she could get me forged copies of passes for amusement parks. I was not really interested anymore at that point, but I was enjoying the stupid lies she started telling me as the night progressed. Apparently she grew up as friends with princes William and Harry and regularly vacationed with them in France.
A power move : she told me I was “no man to f*ck, but a man to introduce to the parents” – on the second sentence. On a tinder date.
She wanted to argue the whole time. I can understand getting uncomfortable topics out of the way but she wasnt looking to feel out my beliefs, she was looking to challenge me on anything I said
She said she didn’t believe in the Moon Landing. I can’t have a productive conversation after that revelation, but tried to go on. We were 45 minutes early to the movie and walking around the shopping area. I said we should look around this bookstore.
And I quote, “Why would anyone read a book?”
Forgot to remove her wedding ring so her lie of omission would be smooth and seamless.
Treating wait staff terribly. That’s like THE litmus test to see if you are at least a decent person so we continue seeing each other or not.
Said she had to go outside for a smoke. I asked why she said she didn’t smoke on her dating profile. “Everybody lies on their profile” is what she told me.
She ended up saying I was too “emotionally complex” for her because I made a fuss of that. She was plenty hot, but I feel I dodged a bullet there.
She blew her nose into her hands, I got up and left
Mid dining
We were talking about what we defined as cheating. She told me that ANY one on one time with the opposite sex was cheating. I specifically threw out what I thought was a ridiculous example. I asked what if I took one of my female friends, who I already knew, out to lunch in public on a weekday.
She confirmed that, yes, to her, that was cheating.
So I guess maybe didn’t turn me off in the “ick” sense but definitely told me we were NOT compatible. I wasnt gonna completely rearrange my social circle for anyone (and at the time I had a lot more female than male friends)
My all-time record train wreck date. The only time I’ve ever, as a large and confident male, wished I had a safety call set up for myself.
Met through eHarmony. Did the whole guided communication song and dance, got to the point of meeting IRL. She picked the time and place (this is important. Very important.)
She lived about 75 miles from me, so we were meeting in her town. Red Robin at like 6 or 7 PM. Great. I love burgers, and they’ve got an okay beer list. So I get ready, head over, and meet her at the appointed time.
Shit went wrong from the word GO.
FUCKING. WHAT.
Remember who picked the location, date, and time of our meeting? It wasn’t me. It was her. And then she ate beforehand???
Do you have any fucking idea how awkward it is to sit at a table with a woman you don’t know, who obviously has different goals for life, and have her watch you eat? The only reason I stayed was I couldn’t think of a polite way to get out, and I’d been looking forward to that burger all day. Ate my burger, paid the bill, and never spoke to her again.