Am I the ass hole in this situation, my son who is still an infant has some 2nd cousins on his moms side who are a few years older, and they are absolute demon children, I’m talking about hitting people, flipping adults off, cussing them out. Breaking things when they don’t get their way, and they are overall just “dirty” children. They come from parents that are either in poverty, on drugs or, not financially responsible (I.e) their grandparents raise them. And my girlfriend and I fight because I don’t want these nasty little heathens around my son. Regardless of their relationship.
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Am I the ass hole in this situation, my son who is still an infant has some 2nd cousins on his moms side who are a few years older, and they are absolute demon children, I’m talking about hitting people, flipping adults off, cussing them out. Breaking things when they don’t get their way, and they are overall just “dirty” children. They come from parents that are either in poverty, on drugs or, not financially responsible (I.e) their grandparents raise them. And my girlfriend and I fight because I don’t want these nasty little heathens around my son. Regardless of their relationship.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was telling the mother of my child I don’t want these kids around my child, and that makes me the asshole because at the end of the day, they are just kids and related to my son
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA for being so judgmental over literal children.
NTA. “YTA for being so Judgmental over children” there’s children that kill animals. Anyways no nta for not wanting children, who didn’t have a second thought about being raised, to be around your son. I’m sure he’ll be the victim of a tantrum one of these days. It doesn’t have anything to do with family just your son’s safety. Anyone who is a good parent knows this and i appreciate you for that
NTA, sounds like you are protecting your son from other children who may cause him harm, whether accidentally or on purpose, and that is your job as a parent. Just because they are cousins doesn’t mean all family is safe to be around, especially if those kid’s parents aren’t acting like parents and correcting the bad behavior.
YTA. I get the frustration, but these kids have been let down by seemingly every adult in their lives. Don’t also be one of those adults.
NTA for wanting to keep your baby safe….but the way you talk about the kids *is* mean.
Imo NTAH parents first and biggest job is to protect their children. And honestly it’s ok to not want your kids to be around some family. Especially if it’s all the time, and when they are that young. There are some family members my kids won’t be around except for family events.
ESH: Judge the kids on their behaviour (cursing, breaking things, or acting violently towards others) and not their personal circumstances (living in poverty, living with grandparents, etc).
It is not assholish to keep bad behaviour away from your child.
Nah, you’re not the asshole for wanting to protect your kid. He’s an infant, you’re just trying to make sure he grows up in a safe and healthy environment. Doesn’t matter if they’re family, if they’re acting wild and the parents aren’t doing anything about it, you have every right to set boundaries. Your job is to be a dad, not a babysitter to someone else’s chaos.
I mean, did you actually call them “nasty little heathens”? I’d be upset about someone sincerely calling little kids that too, even if they weren’t related to me.
You’re not wrong for not wanting them around your baby since they don’t sound safe for a baby to be around. His safety should be your first priority every time. But did you express it that way? Because the tone of your post sounds like you’re villainizing children for circumstances outside of their control, and judging them because their adults failed them.
“Dirty” was… not the greatest choice of words. And the description of their living conditions, while I get the gist of what you were trying to convey, really makes it comes off like you judge these kids both on their behavior (completely understandable) and their situation (a bad fucking look on your part). Makes it hard not to call you an asshole when you’re talking like one. Also, what exactly are you afraid of? I assume not physical harm coming to your child, because if so you would absolutely have said that. Do you think your infant child will pick up their bad habits? Naw. You just don’t like these kids and don’t want them around YOU. Which is perfectly fair… if you were up front about it. YTA. Sorry.
Second cousins are related from the grandparents generation (the grandparents siblings families part of the family tree) so it’s almost like they’re not really related anyways. nta, it’s too likely they’re weren’t raised the same way – or in this case, obviously. I’ve never even met a legit third cousin either, that’s how distant it gets. nta