I found out my ex girlfriend was sexing and sending nudes to another man. I let her know I found out and she me this as a response:
“Yes, partly cause I was in desperate need of money and I felt like I couldn’t rely on you cause you told me not to and I did what I had to do to survive and make ends meet. I will admit I took it too far and I realize now that what I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have done that, but I was in really bad place and need someone to rely on and you weren’t there”
For context, they’ve known each other longer than I knew my ex. She and I were together for 2.5 years, but she known the guy for 5 years. They talked a bit but it was always through online chat as they were in different parts of the world.
The money part is about how she asked the guy and me to loan her a lot of money. We’ve both given her a total of $12,000 USD. She has a lot of bills but can’t make ends meet.
To pay the guy back, my ex and him (allegedly) came to an agreement that if my ex sexted and sent him nudes occasionally, part of the loan would be deducted. I saw the text where my ex listed prices ($400 for a nude). Pretty high for some pictures if you ask me.
I’ve asked for proof of “the agreement” and am waiting for that. If it does exist, does it change anything?
And for the last sentence of the text. I will admit I’m far from perfect. She is right about me not being there for her. I’ve been distant and toxic to her. And I did tell her to stop asking me for money. We’ve talked it out, she agrees I’ve gotten better, but i still have a lot of work.
We talked it out and she was very apologetic. She said she was sorry every chance she had. She admitted she took it too far. She is genuinely a sweet and caring person. Animals come up to her. Babies smile at her. She’s genuinely one of those people. This just caught me way off.
We’ve since broken up but I’m holding out on the idea that she’s being truthful and that she just took something way too far.
What’s your take on all of this? And no she didn’t tell me about this before hand.
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Bro don’t ask her for proof of anything from now on.
Either break up or let her do what she feels she needs to do.
Man. Re read this to yourself and ask “am I willing to be a mark any longer?”
Because if you go back to her, you’re a mark. Nothing more.
What a sweet, loving girl. She only cheats on you for money when you don’t give her enough of it. Definitely, don’t break up with her. She sounds like wifey material. And, if you can’t afford the ring she wants, she’ll have a side hustle to make sure she gets it.
Break up with her, obviously. Don’t be a fool.
Well she’s your ex now so you shouldn’t be concerned anymore. People got to do what they got to do to survive in this world.
You are a POS for not supporting your GF.
Your girl is a POS for selling her body to another man.
You both suck.
Remove her from your life. Have integrity. Hit the gym, surround your self with friends and move on. life is to short to deal with cheating exes.
She’s not going to be good for you this one.
Honestly, if you’ve been distant and toxic to her she doesn’t owe you very much. She was honest. Took accountability. Cared about your feelings. Showed genuine remorse. If you can understand where she was coming from, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. The security in the relationship depends on both of you, but she seems to have done everything possible to make amends to you. Have you taken accountability for the way you treat her?
Do you understand how you make her feel? Can you take accountability for yourself? Are you remorseful? Can you make amends? If she’s as wonderful as you say she is, it seems like she would be worth the effort.
Use her like a business or part time job, you can have sex with other women too, you’re still young enough to be a degenerate for a while
she isn’t your girlfriend! sorry. move on.
It’s like you expected a dumpster to be a cruiseship…
It sounds like your ex gf has some serious financial issues and that should be a red flag to you on its own. That sort of thing ruins relationships quickly. Her choice of how to deal with her finances isn’t it either. She betrayed your trust and your relationship by behaving how she did. Maybe you have been avoidant and unavailable, which is an indication that you’re not actively investing in the relationship. That is a huge issue, but it doesn’t justify her cheating on you. I will say this though, your comment about $400 being a lot for some pictures sounds a bit misogynistic and pretty disparaging of her. A lot of men out there pay a lot more for a lot less. Do you even like this woman? Because it sounds like overall you don’t think she’s worth much and you were already pulling away? And I’m not blaming you either, it sounds like she’s got some good qualities but a lot of very overwhelming red flags. If I were you, I’d move on. Find someone financially stable and trustworthy, and do some work on your own emotional availability in therapy.
She is not looking for a union type relationship but an investment type relationship.
An independent woman neither sells her body nor relies on a man to maintain her. She works, saves and has financial intelligence.
You came across a poor girl with few values, it’s up to you to see your own values and principles. What construction with it is available to you?
So she is only dating you because you give her money? Ghost and move on. Never mind, fire her as your prostitute.
A relationship is built on trust, respect, loyalty. She broke all of these. There is no relationship. There are better ways to earn a living. Has she stopped?
You will never be able to let go of the fact she cheated. And she will never be able to let go of the toxic and abandonment feelings. It’s time you each take a different way in this fork in the road and focus on working on yourselves individually.
It’s hard dating when you have to pay for her attention…
I’m curious how many others pay for her body…
She’s almost a prostitute
She’s a sex worker. You deserve to be with someone who respects you. She’s using anyone she can for money. Get tested because she’s likely selling more than pics.
Sounds like a train wreck.
Get out of here, don’t listen to her nonsense. Imagine when she happens to be in debt on her credit card, she’ll justify sucking someone’s dick to you as not wanting to bother you?
She has gotten 12 000 and still can’t make ends meet? Just fyi, you are atm to her, not a person.