I (34 female) only have 2 days off a week. Monday and Saturday. My bf (34 male) doesn’t work the weekends. Every Saturday I try and sleep until 10am it never works but I still try. My bf is always glued to his phone and can’t complete a single action without looking at his phone first. So the second his eyes are open he gets on instagram. He is hard of hearing and plays his videos at full volume. We wakes up early on his own and immediately opens instagram and starts watching videos. I have repeatedly expressed that it wakes me up before I’m ready and is a problem. He always says it was a mistake I didn’t mean to do that and I have explained it’s not a mistake if it happens over and over again it’s a choice at this point. It is worth stating that I just started my period the day before at work without knowing. And he has his own office downstairs. I also suffer from insomnia so it’s hard for me to get to sleep. I’m tired of going round and round about the same issues. We’ve had break conversations earlier in the week and all he ever does is say sorry without changing a thing. So am I the asshole or is he?
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I (34 female) only have 2 days off a week. Monday and Saturday. My bf (34 male) doesn’t work the weekends. Every Saturday I try and sleep until 10am it never works but I still try. My bf is always glued to his phone and can’t complete a single action without looking at his phone first. So the second his eyes are open he gets on instagram. He is hard of hearing and plays his videos at full volume. We wakes up early on his own and immediately opens instagram and starts watching videos. I have repeatedly expressed that it wakes me up before I’m ready and is a problem. He always says it was a mistake I didn’t mean to do that and I have explained it’s not a mistake if it happens over and over again it’s a choice at this point. It is worth stating that I just started my period the day before at work without knowing. And he has his own office downstairs. I also suffer from insomnia so it’s hard for me to get to sleep. I’m tired of going round and round about the same issues. We’ve had break conversations earlier in the week and all he ever does is say sorry without changing a thing. So am I the asshole or is he?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I started an argument over my bf doing things I’ve asked him not to do. I wanted to know if he’s gaslighting me or if I’m overreacting
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. If it was an accident, he would have corrected his actions by now. That’s not okay. I don’t have any potential solutions, hopefully someone else will, but you are 100% NOT in the wrong here. I’d be pissed.
NTA but why is he not using headphones? Or go to another room if he’s awake before you? This seems like a very easy fix.
He wake you up early. Every saturday. On purpose. He deprives you of sleep. On purpose. Because he does it again and again.
And you ask if you may be the asshole? For what, being abused?
NTA He can very easily get some earbuds. Easily. If he cared, he would.
NTA he should be respectful use headphones or subtitles and low volume
Omg he can’t put earbuds in? That is so inconsiderate. NTA.
NTA, why doesn’t he wear earphone? Alternatively, why not charge his phone in the living room?
NTA. It takes about 2 seconds to put on earbuds. He doesn’t care enough to be considerate.
He claims that headphones aggravate his tinnitus.
NTA my wife does the same thing. I need to have the tv on to fall asleep so I can’t really complain but yes, it’s quite annoying
NTA
Tell him to go into another room if he is going to be a jerk and keeps waking you up making noises in bed.
you’re an asshole to yourself, dear god ofc he’s not gonna change, there’s no consequences to his actions
he wants to blast videos in bed, he can do that single
Let him know there is a cool invention … I think they call them headphones.
NTA, surely he can build the habit of at least waiting till he is out of the bedroom to turn them on. I saw someone suggest asking him to charge his phone in another room since he wakes up early without an alarm. Sounds like an easy behavior hack
But him some ear buds! That’s what I use to avoid disturbing my husband while he sleeps
Honestly, I don’t think either one of you are TAH. You both just have different habits and different sleeping routines.
Do you have different rooms you can go to in order to sleep on your days off?
You guys might just want to break up if neither one of you wants to give in to the other.