I (24F) was babysitting for a family of three kids for all of last year. The youngest is 3 so discount her in everything I’m about to say. The parents severley underpaid me, micromanaged me, and slowly got me to help homeschool their kids (which they had previously said would not happen). Because of how much the parents shelter and affirm them, the kids were really really badly behaved. Apparently, they love me, but to my face I got a lot of “I hate yous” and very personal insults lol. Additionally, they would repeat back things their parents had said about me (basically never nice) and would say that they didn’t have to listen to me bc I wasn’t smart or a real adult. I really don’t hold their behavior against them too much; they’re young and I can see exactly how it came from the parents. However, they are probably the only kids I’ve ever watched who I straight up don’t like.
The mom texted me the other day asking if I was available to watch them this weekend, and I essentially said I wasn’t but I would love to see them soon. Based on the conversation we had, it seemed like she has me as her first call for a babysitter. However, I will never be available. I will never watch these children again. Ever. AITA for lying about being willing to see their kids and potentially making them scramble for a backup every time they need a babysitter?
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I (24F) was babysitting for a family of three kids for all of last year. The youngest is 3 so discount her in everything I’m about to say. The parents severley underpaid me, micromanaged me, and slowly got me to help homeschool their kids (which they had previously said would not happen). Because of how much the parents shelter and affirm them, the kids were really really badly behaved. Apparently, they love me, but to my face I got a lot of “I hate yous” and very personal insults lol. Additionally, they would repeat back things their parents had said about me (basically never nice) and would say that they didn’t have to listen to me bc I wasn’t smart or a real adult. I really don’t hold their behavior against them too much; they’re young and I can see exactly how it came from the parents. However, they are probably the only kids I’ve ever watched who I straight up don’t like.
The mom texted me the other day asking if I was available to watch them this weekend, and I essentially said I wasn’t but I would love to see them soon. Based on the conversation we had, it seemed like she has me as her first call for a babysitter. However, I will never be available. I will never watch these children again. Ever. AITA for lying about being willing to see their kids and potentially making them scramble for a backup every time they need a babysitter?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I lied and said I would be willing to babysit these nightmare kids in the future when I am not. (2) This could make the parents lives harder if they think they have a solid babysitting option and then have to scramble to find a backup every time.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nta but I wouldn’t lie. Tell them you are no longer providing your services to them. Don’t sit there and let them talk shit tell them you are hanging up. After that just block them.
Not the asshole. You don’t have to babysit if you don’t want to. It’s fine to set boundaries but next time try to be more honest
YTA for lying about being willing to babysit the kids again, even though you’re NTA for why. I can imagine that these aren’t people who take criticism well, so you may be better off finding a more diplomatic way to say No. Something like “I’m sorry, but my schedule has become too busy.”
No, you’re NTA. But, I would make a more “permanent” excuse. Without necessarily saying why, you can find a way to tell her you will not ever again. You found a family who needs you full time so you don’t babysit other kids than them anymore; you changed paths and don’t babysit anymore, going to school, whatever.
Or be honest, but either way, you’re totally allowed to not want to babysit for them anymore.
NTA but you are doing yourself no favours by giving the impression that you will be available in the future.
The requests will continue to come and if you keep kicking the can down the road, one of you is eventually going to snap.
Either way, the conversation is going to have to be had sooner of later.
NTA, but rip the bandage off and tell the truth…that you don’t want to watch the kids anymore. It would be better for everyone.
NTA, but the next time she calls, let them know you will no longer be babysitting for them. You can say you don’t babysit period if you think that won’t be easily uncovered (like you don’t sit for any families you know). If you feel like you need a cover up, well plenty of time to think of one. Night classes? Evening gig? Caring for am imaginary relative? Do what you have to, but definitely never sit for them again.
YTA. Just tell them you will not be babysitting for them anymore.
NTA, but you probably could have played it a little better. There’s nothing wrong with a polite “sorry, I can’t.” However saying “I’d love to see them soon” invites her to reach out to you if next time she needs a babysitter. You’d be better off saying “Sorry, I’m not available. Hope you’re all doing well!”
Or “Sorry, I’m not available. I’ve got a lot going on right now and my schedule is packed for the next few months. Hope you’re all doing well!” That lets her know, kindly, that you’ll decline if she reaches out to you again, but gives her no reason to be confrontational about it.
You need to tell them you aren’t available anymore. You don’t have to give them an explanation.
ESH
Rip this bandage off.
YTA. Not because you don’t want to do it, I wouldn’t either… But because you consciously acknowledge that you think you are their first option, and will always make them scramble because you will never be available. Just stop saying you want to see the kids. You don’t have to be mean about it, but you are actively lying to them, for what purpose? IDK why you want to protect any of the feelings of a family who seems to have no respect for you or your time at all
NTA, you’re not their slave.
YTA for not just saying you no longer want to babysit for them. You don’t have to go into your reasons, just tell them you’re done.
Quitting isn’t an AH move but keeping people on the hook for no reason is. Plus why do you want to endure calls from these people every time they need a sitter when you can talk one time and then block them? That’s dumb to me.
You’re an asshole to yourself for not telling her that you don’t want to babysit anymore. Now, what are you going to do if she reaches out again thinking you might be interested later? Being direct is better. Just say you will not be available anymore for babysitting and don’t give explanations.
NTA. I understand the desire to jerk them around. When you get tired if doing that, have this conversation:
Can you babysit for us next weekend?
No, sorry.
Why not?
Your kids and I are no longer a good fit.
What??? What do you mean?
You’ll have to ask them. [blocks number]
INFO: who is calling you TA?
This is going to seem harsh. But you cannot see these kids again until they are much older. The parents do not like you. And do not respect you and have poisoned the children’s minds into also not respecting you.
If you get another babysitting job with kind people, you will realize this.
Nta. Personally I would have just ripped off the Band-Aid, but you are allowed to handle your customer service whatever way you want.
Why do you care what they think, they’ve made it clear they have no respect for you. Tell them the truth for God sake and get the jerks out of your life. Time to VALUE and ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF and let them know exactly why you want them OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!!! Maybe their next victim will receive better treatment.
NTA. This is one of those social lies that try to spare feelings and avoid direct conflict when it’s not necessary. After 2-3 calls, the parents will get the idea on their own. They may ask you directly about it. Then you can either tell them about their kids behavior/comments. Or you can simply say that it’s not working out for you to see them for now.
ESH, you in fact to yourself – they’ll keep coming after you with request upon request until you either give a more permament excuse or rip the band-aid off in a more honest manner. It’s up to you.
ESH. The parents sound like they weren’t great employers. However, stringing them along about future babysitting is unnecessary. If you’re doing it as revenge, that’s kind of shitty. If you’re doing it because you can’t figure out how to say no, you’re just making your own life harder.
That’s not to say that a white lie is a bad way to get out of this, but it needs to be one that actually accomplishes what you want. Something like “I’m stepping back from babysitting jobs for now, so I won’t be available to watch the kids in the future. I wish your family all the best.”
NTA, this is what we call a little white lie, which you told to save her feelings. If you’d told her the truth, that would have been hurtful, & no good would have come of it. If she contacts you again, I’d modify the lie so she understands you aren’t an option for them, but I still wouldn’t tell her you just don’t like her kids.
Why would you pretend you will babysit in the future?? Just say 3 kids is too overwhelming for you. Its not insulting and it stops these regular calls.
Yta for wasting everyone’s time – yours included!