I [29M] told my girlfriend [29F] that I don’t want her family staying with us for a full month once we move in together. She said that if I can’t accept that, she might need to rethink the relationship.
She’s had family staying with her on and off already, and she’s mentioned that if we have a baby, her mom would be over often or even sleep over. She doesn’t hang out with my friends, and I’ve paid for some things she hasn’t paid me back for yet.
I told her I need personal space and boundaries. She sees that as not supporting her family values. AITA?
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I [29M] told my girlfriend [29F] that I don’t want her family staying with us for a full month once we move in together. She said that if I can’t accept that, she might need to rethink the relationship.
She’s had family staying with her on and off already, and she’s mentioned that if we have a baby, her mom would be over often or even sleep over. She doesn’t hang out with my friends, and I’ve paid for some things she hasn’t paid me back for yet.
I told her I need personal space and boundaries. She sees that as not supporting her family values. AITA?
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NAH but you are not compatible, at least not for living together.
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> I told my girlfriend I don’t want her family staying with us for a month once we move in together.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Run don’t walk
ESH. You don’t sound compatible.
NAH; the two of you have differing values when it comes to you separate families. She’s right when she says that she needs to rethink your relationship (as do you, for that matter) because you’re not compatible.
Sounds like y’all aren’t ready to move in together, period.
NTA, doesn’t sound like this is going to end well.
Best case scenario you have different values and NAH.
Worst case scenario, you’re isolating her from the family you’ve known she’s close to this whole time, and that’s a big red flag for me. Go find someone who hates family, stop trying to change her and isolate her from hers.
NAH… She isn’t either…Y’all don’t mesh…Move on🙂
NAH, y’all just aren’t compatible
NTA, but it honestly sounds like this isn’t a good match.
NAH. You two have differing values and expectations. Neither of you are wrong to want to have a certain relationship with your family.
She’s not mature enough to live on her own let alone with a partner.
You’re entitled to not have your personal space invaded for such an extended period.
I would suggest you also have some growing up to do.
This isn’t an AITA situation. Neither of you are wrong in this situation but if you can’t agree, then you arent compatible and shouldn’t live together. You definitely shouldn’t have kids together if you can’t even agree on houseguests
Sounds reasonable on your part. If she can’t accept that you need boundaries and personal space maybe you should be the one rethinking the relationship.
NTA.
NAH. Just not compatible.
Just wait until you are married to see here real demands.
Nra. You’re investing in the wrong person.
This family will not give you space. Will take things from you, because family, and will slander you, if you even tell them “no”, and actually involve the law.
They will drain you, and mock you, and expect you to sthu. To keep quiet.
Run. Run. Run.
It sounds like you two aren’t compatible. No one is TA
Fly far far away!
NTA but you should honestly be the one rethinking the relationship. She’s got a preset way in her mind how she wants her future to look. Children, her mother helping her raise them, to be taken care of.
No fault on either of yall, some people just want different things in life.
NTA but her family is hella important to her. If you don’t get a long with them enough to hang out with them a lot yall probably aren’t gonna work out.
I’d be uncomfortable with any houseguest who wanted to stay a month. That’s a major imposition.
The only exception is her mother if she comes to help with baby care after the birth. And even then, that’s only if you can’t do it and have to go back to work.
So yeah, you’re not an AH, but you’re likely incompatible.
NTA but RUN! Fast and far! She has no respect for your relationship or boundaries. There’s being close to your family and then there’s this. You don’t need your entire family staying under one roof to be close. Do not have a baby with this woman. You will never have any privacy or peace and quiet without her family ruining it. Break up with her because neither of you will be happy with what the other person wants which will lead to resentment.
Nope, move on. She is still tied to her family. Find someone who is independent and not family tied.
Totally understandable but you realize the longer you stay together the greater your chances of getting her pregnant, marrying her and her family! Everyone has different family values, if you don’t come from a visit and call each day kinda fam to having to suck it up cause your s/o believes in family closeness.. a whole month of free loaders.. did she hold onto her apartment???
NTA
You have different opinions on boundaries and how much family involvement you want. Neither of you are necessarily an A H.
If you can’t agree on something you’re both comfortable with, then you’re not compatible.
Maybe her family could visit but stay in a hotel. Maybe she could go visit her family at their home(s) more often.
Nah. But serious incompatibility. This is not a marriage relationship.
Nope, I’d be rethinking this relationship, and don’t get baby trapped.
Gtfo now