my gf(F18) kissed her girl close friend in front of me(M18)

r/

I need some perspective on this. I’ve been dating this girl, for almost a month now, but I’ve known her for about two months. From the beginning, I knew she was bisexual and had a history once of her kissing a female friends at parties, especially when drinking. But she was single while she was doing it so I didn’t care

Before we officially started dating, she invited me to a party at her friend’s house. That night, she got drunk and ended up kissing one of her girl close friends and doing a lot of things that made me uncomfortable – sexual jokes like touching each other’s boobs. It hurt, but we weren’t official yet, so i let it go.

The very next day, we entered a serious, committed relationship. And I had a conversation with her about what happened at that party – I told her clearly that it made me uncomfortable, that it wasn’t normal or okay in the context of something serious, and that it really messed with my head. She told me that for her it was normal, but admitted she understood how much it bothered me. So I thought, okay, now that we’ve talked, this won’t happen again.

But it did. And honestly, it was worse. At my gf birthday party, yesterday, she got drunk again and started kissing a girl I’d never met, and then the same close friend as before, but this time it wasn’t just kissing, they literally making out in front of me, with again the sexual “jokes” and my gf didn’t give a damn about it. She knew I was there, how it bothered me, but she didn’t even talk to me after she did it. And to make it worse, throughout the night (just like the last time), My gf and her friend kept going to the bathroom together every 15 minutes. I don’t want to make assumptions, but it made me really uncomfortable, especially considering the context. I felt completely invisible in that situation.

And then everyone decided to go to the bar after the party and that’s when I left because I knew it would get much worse.

I honestly feel humiliated. I really cared about her. I wanted to make this work. But how can someone say they care about you and still knowingly hurt you like this? I don’t know what to do or how to feel

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:

    • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

    • We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.

    • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

    • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

    • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

    • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.

    • Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.

    • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

    If you have any questions, please message the mods


    This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.


    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. Unlucky-Mulberry-999 Avatar

    she’s cheating – and disrespecting you and your relationship. Let her go and find better, which shouldn’t be hard

  3. thisisanaltaccount43 Avatar

    She’s cheating on you in front of you. Leave

  4. weruleu Avatar

    what do you need perspective on lil bro? she flat out cheated on you like

  5. ThenBlowUpTheWolves Avatar

    You’re in a monogamous relationship with someone who is openly sexual with other people. Why does it matter what gender of person she’s making out with? The best (and I use that word very tentatively) case scenario here is she expects you to be into her kissing girls, but it sounds more like she doesn’t really care about your feelings and thinks being bisexual gives her special rules.

  6. LegalChicken4174 Avatar

    For some guys they see this as a fetish. Like a reward or a lucky girl making out with another girl. Especially if she’s down for a threesome.

    However, not for a few… so this case you want to be clear that you’d be the only one intimate with her. If she does this again it’s considered cheating regardless of the gender.

    So OP make boundaries with her or else you need to find someone else who respects your space

  7. princesskaxt3 Avatar

    Just break up dude, pretty sure you would if she did that thing with a man instead of a girl 🙏

  8. Bill2550 Avatar

    She showed you she doesn’t care about your feelings AT ALL. What do you do? Break up and move on. She’s going to gaslight you by saying it was her birthday, but there will ALWAYS be an excuse. Unless you want to repeatedly be hurt by her, you need to leave.

    You’ll find better.

    “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”

    Updateme

  9. Still_Working_1387 Avatar

    JUST me, i’d love if my girlfriend kissed another girl in front of me 😂😂

  10. CursedCactus69 Avatar

    Being bi doesn’t give you a free ticket to cheat. Dump her.

  11. Accurate-Topic-1635 Avatar

    She’s cheating right in front of your face and only God knows what she did in the bathroom or after the bar when you left. This is not the kind of girl you or anyone should want to be In a relationship with. Go let her be the community girlfriend and find someone you are compatible with.

  12. Ok-You-5264 Avatar

    If she ever has sex with another girl, then complain or join in (lol) otherwise with everything else, let it go – enjoy your girl in your life.

  13. LifeSeen Avatar

    It’s been a month. So it isn’t too much invested yet.

    This means she still has plenty of new sexual interests to explore. And your post indicates you want a traditional monogomous relationship. You two are not compatible.

    Maybe with experience you could be open to new experiences in a future but that isn’t who you are today.

    Remain friends but don’t try to lock her down. You both deserve to pursue your interests.

  14. z-eldapin Avatar

    It’s been a month. Thankfully she showed her true colors early. Being bisexual doesn’t mean it’s ok to cheat

  15. First-Clue8317 Avatar

    ur literally getting cheated on right infront of you. it sucks but you gotta have higher standards for who you give your love to. she’s not it

  16. Tertiam Avatar

    She is not worth your time. Cut your losses now, and be glad you only wasted a month of your time.

  17. Kariolapanagia Avatar

    She is literally cheating in front of you, you should leave her as soon as possible. The only mistake you potentially did here is agreeing to date her immediately after what happened the previous night.

  18. Hilocacko Avatar

    What is wrong with you? There is no reason to post this. Ghost her now.

  19. lydocia Avatar

    You want a monogamous relationship, she does not. That makes you Incompatible. She has been cheating, dump her.

  20. CatStaringIntoCamera Avatar

    Average relationships advice post:

    My girlfriend slept with 100 men and his been manipulating me for 5 years, but I still love her, what should I do

  21. Moist_Consequence_54 Avatar

    If you truly love her and want things to work, i suggest you accept her how she is and have fun with it! My wife is also bisexual, and although she has never really pursued a female during our time together, I have made it very clear that if she ever wanted to fool around with a female it wouldnt be an issue.

    Idk, maybe I’m just weird, but my wife fooling around with a female just doesn’t bother me like if it were to be a male. Plus it would give me an opportunity to try and join in 😂😂😂😂

  22. Iffybiz Avatar

    Look you’re both young and will probably go through several relationships (especially her) before you are ready to settle down into a long term monogamous relationship. Just go to her and tell her that. Just say you look at monogamy differently and that there is no point to being exclusive. If you wish to have fun and continue to date her without strings (I suspect you can’t) go ahead. Otherwise, make it a clean break before feelings get hurt even more.