and when i say invisible i mean never really acknowledged by men? like not even harassed or anything negative. i see a lot of horror stories about things other women go through and can’t relate. i don’t know if it’s just the area i live in or something i do, but i rarely ever experience harassment or anything. just wondering if there’s someone else who can relate because i feel like i can’t relate to most women who say they always get hit on or harassed.
edit: for reference, im in my early 20s, and black. i don’t think i physically stand out.
Comments
I’m a masculine woman with resting bitch face, taller than the average man so i get left alone 🙂
I’m over 40 and no looker, I seldom attract male attention these days. It’s fantastic.
Yes. They’re usually very unattractive in some way. Attractive to below average looking woman won’t be ‘invisible’.
When I was morbidly obese I was invisible, even in my 20s and 30s. 120 pounds lighter and 39, I am definitely visible. The difference is insane.
i have been in both situations and the differences are very noticable
when im in public alone i often get approached/spoken to..but ive noticed that when im out with my partner…most men seem to pretend i dont even exist
the most annoying moments happened when we were doing tours of apartments when we were looking for a new place. i would ask them things or even answer a question that they asked and they would completely ignore me, or answer the question towards my partner as if he had asked the question. they stood with their body facing my partner and only ever addressed him directly. (it was always “yes sir” or “no problem boss” but never “of course ma’am” or anything directed towards me)
i dont expect to be addressed with honorifics like the examples i listed but i thought it was strange to act like my opinion didnt even matter, especially when it has to do with choosing a space to live in…yet they would use honorifics with him as if he was their manager at work or something lol.
Yeap. I always looked less than my age and attracted very few boys. At least when I was a teenager I could sit with the boys without problem, no flirts no akward jokes or atmosphere. One time a colleague tried to set me up in a club with a friend and the guy told me I remind him of his little sister back in his hometown.
Almost the second I turned 30, I became invisible to men. It’s glorious.
In high school I got the most attention, even though I dressed like Steve Jobs and put no effort into my appearance. As soon as I started putting more effort into my appearance, I got harassed way less. Men make no sense.
No. There is not a single woman out there who hasn’t had at least one negative experience with a man at some point. Some are far more extreme and frequent than others though obviously.
I’ve rarely attracted attention from random men. I’d put myself at about average looking, maybe a tiny bit up? My husband says I put out ‘touch me and I’ll fuck up you and your family’ vibes just by existing. I’m also asexual, so I put out absolutely zero in the way of sexy vibes.
I do get hit on by women a lot, though. Especially younger women (I’m 44). But they’re just chatting with a touch of flirt, so it’s fun and not frightening or creepy.
I definitely understand and believe women who go through this, and I understand that it’s a relatively universal experience. But I think I’ve been catcalled once since I turned 20 and it was by idiots driving in a car who were gone before I could even turn my head.
Lots.
Unattractive, unfit women… i know a few…
men & women aren’t that different, there are women who don’t fit the beauty standard so men don’t ever look at them, same thing as men experiences sometimes