I have a terrible relationship with my mom, I can count on my hands the number of times I initiated a conversation with her this year. I am away at college most of the year so it’s relatively easy to avoid contact and when I am home I keep it down to bare necessities. Anyway every so often we do end up having an argument and it leads to her going on about how I villainize her and don’t try to have any type of positive relationship with her. The thing is I simply don’t care to anymore and if I did it shouldn’t be my responsibility to fix the relationship when I’m not the one who faulted.
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Honestly, leave it like that. If it has to be you fixing everything it’s not about the relationship.
I think the perspective to have is to be really honest with yourself, do your best, but sometimes the truth is that if they were the type of person to recognise their faults then you probably wouldn’t be falling out with them in the first place.
Weirdly, I was watching a video talking about estranged parent TikToks just yesterday and how they all share similar themes. “My child somehow grew up and got brainwashed into thinking I did something wrong even though obviously I’m perfect” isn’t an uncommon one.
As to why, it’s because they’re the type of person to ruin things and never take responsibility. If she could do that, you wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.
All you can do is keep grey rocking until you’re on your own. Your college might have counselling options, which can be really helpful in healing some of those hurts, for your own sake.
Hugs.
It’s nuts how some folks, mainly men., think they can just waltz back in after being jerks. We’re not all waiting with open arms, you know. My friend ghosted an ex who tried that, never looked back either. Just saying, we’re not doormats here. Oh, and I finally finished this book on boundary setting? Life changer!
Probably entitlement. They feel entitled to a relationship with you (on thier terms) regardless of how they treat you. Some people think being family means they have to take your shit. These people don’t deserve family.