Hi, reddit.
So two weeks ago, I unexpectedly broke my phone when I dropped it. I was without a phone for a few days, and I had to make a calls to family and friends. I take my husband’s phone (with his consent, of course). When I was looking for one person in his contacts, I noticed that he had someone signed as ” love”. Honestly, I found this a bit odd, as he’s usually the type to refer to everyone by name + where he knows them from. Even I’m not described as “wife” but as “OP’s name.”
Despite this, even when my husband changes his phone, he always has the same number and transfers all his stuff, some of his contacts are even from school. So I started wondering if it was some ex-girlfriend he’d forgotten about or something. It bothered me, though, so the next day I approached him and said, “Hey, when I was using your phone, I noticed one weird contact refered as “love” and it’s bothering me. Could you explain it to me?”. His answer surprised me a bit because he said “good that you mentioned it, I was just thinking about calling them. “
To put it as simply as possible: “love” is a pizzeria which we use sometimes. The thing is… I’m 100% sure “love” only became a pizzeria after I used his phone. I don’t remember the entire number, but I do remember the last two digits. Let’s say it was something like “11.” The pizzeria’s number ends with something like “33.”
I can’t stop thinking about it. I have a feeling that because my phone broke unexpectedly, he didn’t have time to change “love” to something else, but he knew I’d ask, so he switched after I’d finished using his phone. On the other hand, we’ve been together for 7 years and he’s never been secretive, he never hid his phone, and I’ve never seen anyone signed as “love” call him. But ever since this thought popped into my head, I can’t stop wondering.
But how do I approach this? Do I have the right to ask him to look through his phone? How can I trust him?
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Only an idiot would save a number as “love” or something similar if they were cheating.
i respect his love to the game honestly
Ask him.
And keep an eye out.
Since you’ve been together for 7 years without incident, you’ll need to give him the benefit of the doubt. However, I’d still be monitoring his behavior and paying closer attention to anything that is off routine. Is he going to gym more, special new attention to hygiene, just anything that isn’t regular. I’m not saying let it consume your life, just observe.
You don’t necessarily have the “right” but I would also have some trust issues after that. Does he have time unaccounted for? Has he been working late a lot lately but you’re still not seeing it on his check? Is he spending time “with the guys?” I’d offer to clean out his car just to see what I’d find but that’s just me…. Also, I would use his phone again and I would snoop. A relationship is nothing without trust and yours is shaky right now.
Borrow his phone and call the pizzeria. Problem solved.
Look, this isn’t rocket surgery.
You either love and trust him, or you don’t. The other things are candy coating.
You have no evidence, or reason to question his fidelity save for a vague name written on a contact on his phone. And the word’s definition in your mind is more relevant that the fact that the man put it in his phone for his own reasons. Ask yourself are you asking how to get out of your relationship without guilt or remorse, or do you realize that -YOU DON’T NEED EVIDENCE TO LEAVE IF YOU FEEL ANY KIND OF WAY-?
Also keep in mind, that at some point he may find your lack of faith, and trust disturbing, and find that enough to leave, and find someone who a little better capable of accepting and maintaining peace.
I’m not intending to insult you, I’m just hoping that you learn to see that you don’t need justification to leave or to stay.
Always trust your gut. Examine your phone records or financial records to identify any unusual calls or transactions. Continue your investigations. Research that phone number that’s called “Love” perhaps call it and ask if it’s a pizzeria.
Did he explain why the pizzeria is saved as loved? Have you checked if there’s a saved contact for Pizzeria?
Phone that number and ask them yourself who they are to him! For all you know she may also be a victim. If it is indeed the pizzeria then oops. Buy him 2 of his fave pizzas.
Go on your phone carriers website and search for the number ending in 11 on y’all’s phone bill.
If you are still concerned, drop the issue for a few weeks so he isn’t on guard, but keep eyes open. Then you can dig a little deeper. Check his phone records for frequent numbers and find out what calling apps he has. Either you’ll find something or you’ll be able to stop worrying.
Wait wait wait, your timeline doesn’t make sense. You said a couple of weeks ago you looked at your husbands phone, but you order from this pizzeria all the time? But it’s only been open for a couple of weeks? Is this story all true?
The easiest way to confirm his story is to check his phone records. If nothing seems out of place, he must be telling the truth.
Go online and look for the number. You can see anyone he’s calling if you look on the account. I’d have taken a picture of it in his phone so I was 100%. If you are still bothered by it that’s what I would do.
Sounds like you’re making shit up in your mind and about to ruin your marriage.
This is so bizarre… did you AK him why on Earth he saved a pizza place under “love” instead of just… the pizzerias name?? This is really weird, and I don’t blame you for being suspicious, because this is so sketchy. At the very least, you know that he’s lied to you, because he changed the number after you asked him about it. And we know that there’s always a reason why someone chooses to lie about something…
I agree with other commenters about checking his phone records if you can. Then take screenshots of the page with the number you remember seeing, or print the page(s) and highlight the number throughout them, and hand him the pages and tell him you want the truth, now.
Better yet, once you do find the number, just call it. You’ll find out everything you need to know that way.