AITAH for refusing to pickup a friend at the airport because she booked a flight that arrived at 3 am?

r/

So this last week, I had agreed to pickup a friend/neighbor at the airport around 10 pm. She has physical restrictions and does not drive. She also maxes out her luggage even tho she was only going back to Philly for 2 weeks. She always has two large checkin bags, as close to the 50lb max limit as possible, and 3 carry on bags. She likes to stay up late so always books the latest flight to arrive back in town. In hindsight, I also realize that there are lots of crazy drivers around the airport in Vegas at night. The last 3 times I have gone to the the airport, I have almost gotten into accidents with drivers cutting me off when heading to the airport. So this last Tues, she was set to return back at 9:50 pm. From the time she lands, it usually takes her close to an hour to get her bags and get to the pickup area so we are talking 10:50 pm before she is ready for pickup. I asked her to text me when the flight took off so I would know its on time. She texts me that the flight is delayed and her flight sits on the ground for at least 2 hours. Finally, around 1 am Philly time, she tells me the flight is canceled due to weather. She says they got off and there is a long line to reschedule flights and there is an app she can use. I tell her that I don’t want to be driving to the airport after 10 pm to pick her up. There are a few flights much earlier than her current one. She texts me back that she has rebooked for a 9:20 departure and arrival at 11:50 pm. I remind her that I don’t want to be driving around after 10 pm and that it would take her an hour to get out of baggage claim. She tells me that her bags were already sent and she might be out around 12:30 am instead. I told her I would not be coming out at 12:30 am to pick her up. As it turns out, her flight was delayed again and left at 1 am, Philly time, and arrived a 3 am local time. I told her to call Uber and she needed a credit card to set up an account. Her reply was, “I didn’t bring a credit card with me.” Who does that? So does that make me an AH for not agreeing to pickup someone at 3 am instead of 9:50 pm?

Comments

  1. Artistic-Tough-7764 Avatar

    NTA – 10pm is a huge difference from 3am

  2. 225wpm8 Avatar

    NTA. She can get an Uber/Lyft/taxi. She seems really entitled and ungrateful.

  3. Realistic_Head4279 Avatar

    ESH. You should have just told your neighbor/friend from the beginning that you didn’t want to be driving into the airport at night and so she’d have to make other arrangements because it sounds like this is how you feel about this request from her. And that’s okay. It’s not your responsibility to provide her transportation.

    And, I agree your neighbor likely had a credit card or some such way to pay for an Uber. It’d definitely not reasonable for her to expect you to be on-call for whenever her flight arrived. I assume she managed to get home somehow, right?

  4. No_Life_6558 Avatar

    NTA. Don’t give her rides anymore. No matter what time.

  5. Upper_Rent_176 Avatar

    Whilei agree she could geta taxi or uber i feel like annoying though it is, if you agree to pick someone up from the airport then you have to come even if the flight gets delayed. My reasoning is: once agreed you are their plan and you have an obligation. If you can’t cope with many hours late pick up then don’t agree in the first place.

  6. Garden_Lady2 Avatar

    She is extremely taking advantage of you. I don’t believe she didn’t have a credit card. Obviously she’s traveled before so she should know to have a card, even a debit card. She either wanted to guilt you into getting her or wanted you to offer your own card. What a piece of work. From now on tell her the taxi service is closed.

  7. Whole-Ad-2347 Avatar

    She SAID she didn’t take a credit card so she couldn’t set up UBER. Truth of excuse to manipulate you to get her in the middle of the night? I would continue being very strict about when you will or will not go to the airport.

    I know people who fly in just in time to get back to work the next day. I have never understood that, but I am someone who needs a good nights sleep and like to get to bed around 10.

  8. FinePossession1085 Avatar

    Traveling without a credit card seems unlikely. Uber was the way to go, and she should have figured that out. She can always use AppleCash. Sounds like she didn’t want to pay it.

  9. ummmmcake Avatar

    NTAH but next time just say no, from the beginning.

    It’s odd she didn’t have a credit card, but not impossible (but in this case she should have apple pay etc., which afaik works on Uber).

    In general, when you agree to pick someone up from the airport, you’re making a commitment with flexible timing. So it’s better to be in all the way or out all the way.

    That said, a good friend would have said “don’t worry about it” after the delays and set up Uber or a taxi pickup (you can call ahead and schedule).

  10. Massive_Low6000 Avatar

    NTA. I would never ask anyone, especially a neighbor for this type of behavior. I would rather hand them $20

  11. Flimsy-Fortune-6437 Avatar

    As soon as you said “3 carry on bags” it was clear she was entitled

  12. Useless890 Avatar

    NTA. Not only the 3 a.m. business, but she was back and forth so much, who can plan? If she can figure out all that luggage, she can figure out how to get home.

  13. WantToBelieveInMagic Avatar

    I have a very strong objection when one favour suddenly morphs into a whole new favour, and it is assumed the agreement should morph, also. Suddenly one generous impulse becomes an ordeal. No no no.

    “I will not be picking you up at 3 am. You will have to make other arrangements.”

    add if necessary “I don’t know what your options are, but I am sure you will be able to figure this out yourself”

    This is a good thing. Now you don’t have to do the favour you regret agreeing to, and you know more about your friend’s tactics and entitlements and can be cautious going forward.

  14. mustang19671967 Avatar

    Your not an AH , if it was a real good friend I would have gone cause I know they would do the same for me , but not an AH . You couldn’t her use your account at uber for one night . I don’t have one so don’t know how it works

  15. traciw67 Avatar

    Nta. With Uber/Lyft/cabs there is ZERO reason why anybody needs to be inconvenienced by friends and relatives with their airport pickups/dropoffs! Not your problem!

  16. CairnsRock1 Avatar

    I own a car, always have. I get a limo to and from the airport to avoid the hassle at the airport.
    If I won’t do it for myself, I’m for sure not doing it for someone else, never mind 3AM.

  17. Agile-Top7548 Avatar

    Then she can shuttle to a hotel and you can pick her up on the AM.

  18. hisimpendingbaldness Avatar

    Yta,

    You agreed to be her ride, and when it got tough, you crapped out.

    .

  19. OneSketchyMama Avatar

    She doesn’t need to get an Uber. Vegas has taxis. She’s using you

  20. DomesticPlantLover Avatar

    First off: she is not your friend. She is a person you know who takes advantage of you.

    Second: NTA, and stick to you guns. Stop responding. You told her you won’t drive after 10pm. She’s the one traveling, it’s her problem. STOP letting her make HER problem YOUR problem.

  21. Beagle-wrangler Avatar

    Having read several of your replies to other comments I have a question- why did you post here @neo1881? You have already strongly decided you are in the right so there is no point to this post.

  22. FriendlyStructure579 Avatar

    I’m pretty sure you need a credit card to book a flight.

  23. LeopardLower Avatar

    Of course not. I’d never expect a friend to do that. She’s entitled!

  24. jastorpollux Avatar

    NTA. You should have said you had a family emergency then just off your phone at the first round lol.

  25. OneTwoWee000 Avatar

    NTA

    > I told her to call Uber and she needed a credit card to set up an account. Her reply was, “I didn’t bring a credit card with me.” Who does that?

    Weaponized incompetence..

    She can stand in the taxi line and pay for it via her debit card. None of this is your problem!

  26. Inevitable_Pie9541 Avatar

    I’m bemused by someone with “physical restrictions” who routinely overpacks to the tune of 2 checked bags plus carryons, even for short trips.

    I’m guessing someone else shleps her million bags from the car into the airport to the check-in desk, then from check-in through security to the gate.

    You’re NTA. She’s massively entitled, and you’re not her personal assistant or chauffeur.

  27. z-eldapin Avatar

    She has some form of payment with her, she can take a cab and pay cash

  28. Cardabella Avatar

    She can pay for a taxi with whatever currency she used to pay for her trip. NTA but do be clearer in communicating your reasonable boundaries. “I don’t want to drive late” =/= “I won’t drive later than X time so either arrive by xx o fine another ride”

  29. Beachboy442 Avatar

    NTA……………….life happens, but, adults are each responsible for their own problems.

    You are good. I wouldn’t do it either. She expects too much. And the NO CC for Uber is a big warning flag. She is abusing your goodwill.

  30. ReaderReacting Avatar

    Depends… are you abandoning her, or are you telling her you will get there at 7:30 am – hand tight.

  31. rabbithole-xyz Avatar

    My family family and I (we live in different european countries) would NEVER book a plane that arrives that late, if we were expecting to be picked up!

  32. JohnExcrement Avatar

    NTA. People like your friend is why God made Lyft.

  33. GardenHobbit Avatar

    She definitely has a debit or credit card. She’s trying to manipulate you into giving in. Don’t. She’s taking advantage of your kindness

  34. AcidReign25 Avatar

    Why are you picking up another adult at the Vegas airport? There are Ubers and taxis everywhere

  35. marla-M Avatar

    NTA. I would think traffic would be less crazy at 3am vs 11pm (maybe not in Vegas though) but the only people I would be dragging my ass to the airport for at 3am would be husband or kids if it was an emergency

  36. MentionGood1633 Avatar

    You usually have to have a credit card to book the flight and hotel. Why wouldn’t she take it with her?
    NTA

  37. Liu1845 Avatar

    You set the condition you had for picking her up. Not your problem about her delays. I’ve spent a lot of time in Vegas. There are always taxis at the airport. You did nothing wrong.

    And she didn’t have a credit card with her? HA! I call bull on that one. She wanted you to do it for free. She’s cheap and inconsiderate.

    If anyone asks in the future, maybe be even more specific.

    “I do not drive, at all, after 10pm or before 7am. So if you cannot arrive, get your luggage, and meet me at the pickup lane by 9pm at the very latest or after 8am, don’t ask. If your plans change for any reason, any at all, you will have to Uber or get a taxi.”

    NTA

  38. groovyfirechick Avatar

    NTA. She’s taking advantage of you.

  39. chez2202 Avatar

    NTA.

    I set up an Uber account a few months ago. I also pay for my utilities by debit card.

    I don’t take the card out of my purse to pay for anything online. I know the card number, expiry date and the security code. Card numbers are 16 digits long here in England. My gas and electricity accounts are 19 digits each. I know those too.

    Not sure if this makes me strange. But it DOES mean that my bills are always paid and I’m never stuck for transportation.

  40. 64green Avatar

    This is the reason Uber was invented. I’m not going to ask a friend to pick me up in the middle of the night because I’m not going to do it for them. Uber is cheap.

  41. dca_user Avatar

    NTA

    Look, I just had a similar situation- and I was the person on the repeatedly delayed/cancelled flight.

    I told my dad and friends to go home and I’ll uber it whenever I land – either home or to a friend’s house.

  42. Paula_Intermountain Avatar

    Nope, NTA.

    You are’t a taxi service. Expecting a friend to pick you up at that hour is ridiculous. Plus, I don’t blame you for not wanting to be on the road after 10 in Vegas. Too many drunks and gang members out and around that late.

    Not traveling with a credit card?? That’s sheer stupidity if true. She needs to tap someone else.

  43. Consistent_Proof_772 Avatar

    You need to wash your hands with people like that when they ask you to pick them up at the airport say you’re never available!

  44. Large_Effective_812 Avatar

    NTA, PHL has had a rough few weeks with these extremely windy and intense rainfall. As someone who travels for work a lot. It’s literally not feasible to be at that airport without a credit card. The whole airport is smart and made to be used with credit cards or Venmo. I’m sure people accept cash there but only the restaurants. All the snack kiosks encourage self check out with credit card, PayPal and Venmo.

  45. AdUnusual7345 Avatar

    I’d only do it under the following:

    GAS

    GRASS

    ASS

    No free rides to the airport.

  46. mdsnbelle Avatar

    YTA

    Look, picking someone up at the airport sucks. I hate doing it, but if someone I love asks me to be there and gives me the best information they have, I’ll be there.

    Also, flights are delayed for reasons. It sounds like your friend got caught up in that. This wasn’t a problem she made; this was a problem that was caused by the airline. She’s just as caught up as you are.

    She made a plan based on the situation she thought was normal and continued to communicate it. I don’t think she’s an asshole at all, I think either the airline or Mother Nature is. If you were a good person, you’d understand this and go to the airport when she arrived, She didn’t ask for a later flight; she just gone one.

    You’re a dick in this cse.

  47. SavingsSubstantial31 Avatar

    NTA. Tell her you’ll be there at 8am. My bet is she somehow “finds” a credit card and is able to avoid waiting that long.

  48. davecskul Avatar

    Yeah. Who the fuck asks for a ride at 3 am? Get fucked.

  49. yumyum_cat Avatar
  50. galactabat Avatar

    NTA- Unless you’re a professional cabby you aren’t obligated to get her.

  51. i-likebigmutts Avatar

    I suspect this is either fake, or the friend is lying.

    It is near-impossible to travel, and particularly fly, without a credit card. I had to get one just to be able to fly many years ago.

  52. ckm22055 Avatar

    NTA – First, she does have a credit card bc there is no way she traveled for 2 weeks with that amount of cash. She only said that bc she didn’t want to pay for an Uber. She wanted you to do it on her time for free.

    I wouldn’t give her any more rides. She doesn’t care about your time or inconvenience. She only cares about being accommodated.

    You explained well in advance of her trip. First, I don’t believe her flight kept getting delayed bc you said she likes late flights. She just strung you along, expecting that you would be on standby.

    Just tell her that with her late flights being undependable that she should always plan for an Uber to take her home.

  53. jigilous Avatar

    I mean…I love my friend(s). Of course I would pick them up at 3am especially if they had all these annoying delays; they must have been so tired and worn out! I know they would do the same for me.

  54. Whats_His_Name987 Avatar

    NTA but stop agreeing to be her airport shuttle.

  55. Curious_Instance_971 Avatar

    Nah tell her you’ll pick her up at 7 AM
    Or something else more reasonable

  56. simplymandee Avatar

    Yta. You told her you’d pick her up and then last minute changed your mind. She can’t help delays or what time she gets there. You knew she preferred later flights and yet you agreed. What kind of a friend backs out last minute?

  57. kaaikala Avatar

    Travel without a credit card ??? Planes are cashless now. Many airlines are cashless now. Who does this ?

  58. Nucf1ash Avatar

    I ‘d normally think you’d have a right to complain, but “owe her” to complete what you offered to do even if she was inconsiderate… however:

    1. Not the first time she did this, so the notion of everyone deserving some leeway is used up.
    2. You specifically told her what was and wasn’t okay, and this was not okay, and she did it anyway.
    3. There are tons of reasonable alternatives, and yes, who leaves their credit cards at home when traveling for weeks… that’s dumb AF. (I think she is just lying about that.)
    4. There are still other alternatives (e.g. traditional taxi) for her if she’s paying in cash. “Oops, I left my cash at home too! Tee heee!”

    She sounds detestable. She sounds like a user. She sounds like she’s comfortable taking advantage of you in particular.

    Distance yourself from this wreck.

  59. BeaPositiveToo Avatar

    No kind, considerate, emotionally mature person would ask this of you and then push back when you say no. This is not a good person or good friend.

  60. Organic_Start_420 Avatar

    NTA tell her to take a taxi, stop at an ATM near her place and pay cash on arrival. Problem solved

  61. Rach_CrackYourBible Avatar

    I live in Vegas and am at the airport nearly every week. 

    If she’s travelling, she obviously has a credit card. She’s not paying in cash for all her oversized bags and extra luggage. Per TSA & FAA rules, not airline rules, she can’t have 3 carry-on bags. You get 1 carry-on, 1 personal item and anything you purchased after the gate (although some airlines make you consolidate your airport shopping into your carry-on luggage.) She’s obviously paying to check bags.

    She can set up a driver to get her through Bell transportation, use Uber or Lyft or a local taxi. 

    Stop enabling this person. 

  62. Butter_Thumbs Avatar

    ESH, you should have picked her up one last time and then never again. That’s crazy inconvenient. If she has money to travel, she’s got money for a taxi. She lied to you about not having her credit card. She also doesn’t give a shit about you and is not your friend.

  63. DancesWithTrout Avatar

    “Her reply was, ‘I didn’t bring a credit card with me.’”

    BS. She flew all the way across the country for 2 weeks and didn’t take a credit card? That’s just not credible.

  64. Heavy-Resist-6526 Avatar

    NTA. The back and forth is ridiculous and exhausting. Once the time changed to an hour unacceptable to you, she’s on her own. After this situation, I wouldn’t help her with airport rides again.

  65. BecGeoMom Avatar

    NOBODY travels without a credit card. You can’t even do that. There are a lot of places that do not take cash, places that need to hold your credit card when you book with them (and a picture of your card won’t do, they need to see a physical card), etc. She had a credit card with her. She would just rather inconvenience you than figure out how to set up an Uber account and take an Uber home. Are you her only friend?

  66. firemeup18 Avatar

    Doesn’t Vegas have cabs?

  67. kmflushing Avatar

    Not your problem.

  68. TallGirlNoLa Avatar

    Taxis still exist. 👍

  69. cadaverousbones Avatar

    How does she take 3 carry on bags with her?

  70. OldDudeOpinion Avatar

    My husband decided to fly home on a late flight yesterday (a choice, but not mine). Uber to the ferry, and ride it. I’ll pick you up from the station close to home.

  71. ParisianFrawnchFry Avatar

    NTA

    Her physical restrictions that make her unable to drive, but able to bring twenty tons of luggage with her are suss AF.

  72. FerragudoFred Avatar

    Not at all. That’s beyond an unreasonable request. I wouldn’t dare ask a friend to pick me up after 9pm for a flight. She’s outrageously entitled.

  73. NoTripOfALifetime Avatar

    Favors are given and those accepting should be grateful and gracious. That common courtesy is taught since birth. She doesn’t seem to get it, which is fine. Live your life girl. But never expect people to help you. Ever.

  74. YogurtclosetLoud278 Avatar

    Doesn’t use Uber/Lyft? Somehow she manages to get from airport to hotel. She’s capable. We all know Vegas has one of the best taxi lines and service around.

  75. CeilingCatProphet Avatar

    NTA and your friend are liars.

  76. Disenchanted2 Avatar

    NTA. It’s very inconsiderate for ANYONE to expect someone to pick them up at the airport at 3:00 am. Your deadline for late pick up is totally reasonable.

  77. Quantumercifier Avatar

    Does OP need to ask this? What does she think? And what kind of friends does she have? I would say that she is TAH.

  78. Astyryx Avatar

    She can make other arrangements. However for other, less bananas people in the future, you just get them to send a photo with their flight information. Then you check the flight number on Google.

    The advantage being, if they were stuck in a holding pattern, or had to make an emergency landing somewhere, and the passenger couldn’t contact you, you would still have the correct info. 

  79. NuancedBoulder Avatar

    What does her disability have to do with the issue of her being thoughtless and basically not an adult?

  80. batcountryupinhere Avatar

    NTA, if she has funds to travel she has funds to get home.

  81. MegC18 Avatar

    Kip on the seats till morning!

  82. GrouchyBear_99 Avatar

    Why exactly do you consider her a “friend”?

  83. gobbliegoop Avatar

    NTA Shit – I don’t even pick my best friend up at 3am when they are coming to visit me. Uber and taxi are all viable options in all major cities these days. Here’s the code to my door to let yourself in. See ya in the morning!

    For the card situation, that would make me not want to help her at all anymore. If she can afford to fly and check all those bags she can figure out a taxi.

  84. Shepostal Avatar

    No, you’re not her on-call chauffeur. She can grab a taxi.