I’ve been hanging out with these guys (for reference I’m 24 and the one I’m talking about is 23) for a while now and I’ve noticed that they’re the type that will make jokes and jabs and kinda assert themselves as above others. Yesterday we were at the beach and I kept pestering one of them for fun (I was throwing tiny shells at him) I find that I do this sorta thing often but don’t think much of it. I just enjoy being funny and trying to make others laugh. He was telling to stop acting like “the little brother”. It kinda bothered me and then I didn’t know how to interact with the group after that. I don’t want to be a boring guy but I don’t want to be labeled as the little brother type and be the butt if every joke. Does anyone have advice?
How do I stop being the weak guy?
r/AskMen
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Bro… Be your authentic self 100% of the time, without exception. If they are bothered with who you are, find new people to spend your time with.
Stop hanging out with KIDS, who need to try and assert a hierarchy to your little play dates.
That’s BOY level shit. That’s the ” yeah bro, I’m so alpha bro, yeah bro,” type cringe.
Alternatively, if you’re going to keep hanging with such dudes. Just stop giving a fuck. 🤷♂️
Because coming here to complain about it is definitely little bro energy. Just be you dawg. No one on the outside looking in is trying to roster you guys by level of tough bro-Ness.
>Yesterday we were at the beach and I kept pestering one of them for fun (I was throwing tiny shells at him) I find that I do this sorta thing often but don’t think much of it.
Don’t act like a child. If you’re bothered about being seen as the little brother, don’t do the sort of things children do to get attention.
Upgrade the quality of people you surround yourself with. These people will drag you down when you begin to outgrow them.
We did this to one of our friends, my roomate now. He told me straight to my face one day that i was being an asshole and that it felt like constant badgering. Didn’t realize it and I backed off quite a bit on the snarky comments and shit like that. We’re closer than ever now and we both give each other shit here and there.
So maybe do that.
Man just find friends you can be authentic and happy around! Don’t worry so much about coming off as the “weak guy” that’s not a thing, good buddies will appreciate you for you and not give a fuck about your strength or masculinity. One of my good buddies in my group is a small timid shy guy who I guess someone with the negative mindset would call “the weak guy”, I appreciate his friendship and presence more than anything and love him dearly. I don’t care that he’s not confrontational at all and that he’s small and timid, he’s an amazing friend and I’m lucky to have him in my life.
Be you bro
>(I was throwing tiny shells at him) I find that I do this sorta thing often but don’t think much of it.
>He was telling to stop acting like “the little brother”.
He was right
watch the art of self defense starring jesse eiseberg
You might be being labeled as little brother because you are being annoying or because you lack self-esteem.
I have an older friend who, because he lacks self-esteem, and because he doesn’t face his own demons effectively, gets little brothered. This is a guy who cares too much about what others think, who lies to avoid inconvenient truths, who tries to avoid confrontation or play things off as he doesn’t care instead of risking looking bad. But, because he’s so afraid to look bad, he looks bad. Because he’s afraid of looking weak, he looks weak. Because he cares so much about what other people think, he looks weak.
I do love him. And while I list his negative qualities here he has many many virtues. Steadfastness, loyalty, he’s incredible under pressure or life threatening situations. Braver than most i’ve met. And has an incredibly compassionate heart.
He doesn’t need to care what other people think. He doesn’t need to lie or pretend to be something he is not.
Yet he does anyways. And that loses him respect and gets him treated as lil bro from time to time. The humiliation of this then perpetuates the cycle as while he could face the reasons for it he chooses not to.
So I guess, my answer to your how to avoid being weak is, be confident in who you are and in your virtues. If you are caring and if you show love by being a brat, then do not be afraid of this. If you have the urge to lie to defend yourself, don’t. Just say it like it is.
Don’t people please. But be the good that is in you and align yourself with your ideals. And do not sway from them. And you will not be little brothered.
You could start by not throwing shells at your friends. I couldn’t think of something more annoying when trying to chill out at a beach.
‘Cause you were throwing shells at him, why are you surprised he doesn’t like you?
Yeah, get new friends. Yours sound like they suck.
You’re 24 and a man child fs.
Throwing tiny shells at people will do that to you, bub
There’s a difference between joking around to try making others laugh and being immature. Throwing stuff at somebody isn’t a joke, and you admit it’s pestering.
You find new friends. A strong man doesn’t let the opinions of fools affect who he becomes.
Where did they call you weak in this story? He only got annoyed because you continuously threw shells at him which is immature. A couple of time is kind of funny. The whole time or constantly is annoying and the type of shit a little brother died to annoy you.
Be you’re authentic self but if it’s continuously pestering someone more than a reasonable number of times then that’s too far
You’re going about it all wrong. Think about it, by throwing things to try and be funny is definitely a “little brother” move. Act like an adult, be funny with your words, not actions.
Listen or read the book “No more Mr. Nice Guy” it’s not some misogynistic outlook on life like it sounds. It’s gets to the depth of why you try to be the nice guy or the guy who brings the joy and has to fill the void of silence, absence, etc.
I think it’s worth a try my man.
Is it bothering you that what he said actually is spot on?
That’s what a behavior is a little brother is.
Don’t do it.
Be yourself mate trying to be someone else will just hurt your mental health in the long run. People will notice too.
Try to be bold, relaxed and the funny one. Always works for me
You sound socially awkward. Hit the gym, and pound a few plus-sized women. It’ll all work out
Guys like your friends aren’t assertive in the way they are because they’re stronger or tougher than you. They do it because they’re emotionally immature and don’t know how to navigate having negative attention cast their way, so they deflect it onto others. That, or they don’t have enough interiority to talk about things that aren’t functionally idle gossip (because that’s what jabbing people basically is, don’t let them pretend it isn’t).
That being said the shell throwing was lame, and it’s just you playing their game in a more juvenile manner. Find ways to be the funny guy and be inviting towards everyone without picking a target. The side effect though is you might not like hanging out with these guys after that.
You were pestering him and he put you in place without being aggressive. You were bothered by it, but did you think he was maybe bothered by you annoying him? You say you like to do things that make people laugh, was he laughing when you were annoying him? I think he was very accurate with calling you little brother, because you acted like one.
Stop acting like a little brother and start acting like big brother. Invade them for oil and bring them some sweet democracy.
Have you tried being funny by telling funny stories or something?
I don’t think anyone considers it being funny when get thrown some stuff at ya
Bro is acting like a child but doesn’t want to be called one. Bold strategy, Cotton.
You’re trying way too hard. It is incredibly irritating when someone tries to hard to be the clown. Seriously, if you don’t stop it, they’ll stop inviting you. Just chill out and be yourself.
Don’t be an annoying child if you don’t want to be treated like one. No one wants shells/sand thrown at them repeatedly.