Hi all, I 25/M feel betrayed by my fiancee 23/F. I’m in a long distance relationship with my fiancee. I met her last december of 2024, I traveled to her country and everything was going well, she asked me we could go to a new years party with her friends at a night club and indireclty told me to pay the reservation and everything, fine with me.
However, she invited a guy, I picked everyone up in my car including him and her female friends, they knew we we were a couple already. We got to the party and to me it feel like they were flirting, music was loud and they were togather whispering to each other ears, and drinking alchohol from the same cup in front of me.
I kept my cool and said nothing, but then he grabbed some party sunglasses she had on her breasts, she was wearing a deep V neck dress, after I saw that I discussed how I felt to her privately. She told me that he should be nothing to worry about and that he’s just the brother of one of her friends that was there, and that they never had anything at all, not even romantic related.
Anyways, a few months passed, I proposed to her, and love her. I’m very opened to her and don’t want to ruin our relationship, we communicated that we would let each other know if we chat to someone the opposite sex, this never happened since we don’t text anybody but us. (At least from my end).
I found out the guy’s birthday was recently and so I asked her if she had chat him to congratulate him, she said yes. I don’t know why she didn’t tell me, She knows how I feel about that guy, and how he was hitting on him. I need advise, I don’t know If probably I’m overreacting.
TL;DR:
I’m in a long-distance relationship with my fiancée. When we first met in person, she took me to a New Year’s party where she invited a guy who seemed to be flirting with her—whispering and sharing drinks, even grabbed sunglasses from her chest area. I spoke to her privately, and she said he’s harmless, just a friend’s brother. Months later, I proposed and we agreed to be transparent if we talk to the opposite sex. Recently, I found out she messaged that same guy for his birthday but didn’t tell me, even though she knows how I feel about him. Now I’m questioning whether I’m overreacting or if this is a red flag.
Comments
I think you should start by taking time to reflect on whether or not it’s truly reasonable to expect your partner to tell you about every conversation they have with a person of the opposite sex. I also think it’s pretty paranoid to be concerned about this guy when you were right there the whole time and saw that she did not, in fact, do anything with him that would be unacceptable.