I (23f) am just losing my mind. I am 196 pounds and I am overweight. And my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me because I’m overweight and I completely think it’s valid cause I don’t know. And I haven’t been taking care of myself because I decided to try to pursue a career in dental assistant which I hate and I’ve had a million jobs and can’t find what I want to do even though the matter of the fact is that I don’t want to fucking do anything at all I just wanted to have a family . All I wanted was to get married and have babies. That is my genuine only want and I never wanted anything else and nobody believes me. And it’s not that I don’t want to travel and that I don’t want a job. I just want that. And now I’m cheated on and fucking fat and I hate my life. And I’ve spent $200 dollars trying to change my appearance just to look the same. And I just feel hopeless right now and just want to quit it my job because my job is the reason why I have low libido and I wasn’t having sex as much with my boyfriend and now he’s cheated on me with men. And he blames being gay on me. And says he wouldn’t be gay if it wasn’t for me because I wasn’t having enough sex with him and I frowned upon him watching porn and so says that “well I started watching gay porn because you got upset with females” and now I have to compete with twinks but I’m giant so fuck you know. And he does like women too. And he’s blaming me because he didn’t advance in his career because instead of working on his certifications he was watching porn because of his porn addiction and it’s all my fault. And he says he doesn’t care what other people think , he says it’s a fact. And that every single reason why he hasn’t succeeded was because I wasn’t sexual enough even though there’s never been a week where we didn’t have sex at least 2-3 times. And he says that’s why we haven’t gotten married because he doesn’t make enough money even though he’s makes $75,000 as a 24 year old.And it’s all fucked and now I’m all financially fucked and I just have no way out of this but time but at this point I’m just like what’s even the point. I wanted to be a youngish mom I wanted to have a career established and now that everything is messed up it’s just delayed. And the dating pool in my state and in America is messed up and I could end up finding an even worse man and just have to keep starting over cause nobody cares about me. And I’m not good enough. And I hate everything. And I just wanted my dream.
I am going off the deep end
r/Advice
Comments
I stopped reading at you saying it’s valid for your boyfriend to cheat on you because you’re overweight. If he doesn’t like overweight girls he should break up with you, not cheat on you. Being mistreated and feeling like you’re deserving of it isn’t going to help you feel emotionally stable. When emotionally distressed, chances are dieting isn’t going to stick (if you’re an emotional eater) and you’re not going to have the energy for working out. The weight you need to drop is him. Maybe therapy would help. Focus on yourself and your well being.
He’s always been gay. You’re just the beard. Make a plan & bounce. Only you control you. Stop looking for validation from others. Fuk that MF’ker
Ooo girl let yourself grieve for while then later in life you’ll realize 5 years with an abusive and manipulative boy is nothing compared to the lifetime you’re about to have with someone so much better. Who will love you for everything you have and are.
I struggled with losing weight for four years. Couldn’t hold a diet or a workout routine for longer than two weeks. I’m now on month four of spin classes because the people who go motivate me, it’s kind of expensive, and I get charged if I miss a class. Take your time and breathe. You’re young, you have time, screw this guy who couldn’t see there was just more of you to love. You recognize what is causing you pain, and now you have time to make a plan and find people who love you for you and help push you to your goals. xx
Literally nothing about this relationship sounds worth staying for. Watch how much easier it is to lose weight after you dump him. And never marry a man with a porn addiction. It will only get worse. P.S. please don’t have children with this POS.
This is crazy… and you’re still with this dude? Like actively right now?
You need to find yourself and you can’t do that with this deadweight!
There are times when we all want to reinvent ourselves, but it must be for ourselves this guy is not worth your time, and you must know it based on your post‼️
Turn on some great music, singing, dance get in tuned and in love with yourself if you wanna make changes, make them with joy and happiness. You’re so young. There’s so much to come.
The only way you need to lose is this man ‼️
Time to go. You deserve better. He the asshole, not you. Don’t feel bad, he would have done it anyway, he used a convenient excuse. It’s his character flaw. Free yourself, you deserve it.
No one makes someone gay. You are born that way!!
Your boyfriend is a cheater because he is a liar and a jackass. He will always be a cheater and gay.
He might can work on the jackass part.
NOW, he must be your ex boyfriend then you must be tested for STIs.
Then probably the most important thing is you must work on your self esteem!!! You must believe what an amazing person you are. You will never get there until you dump the jackass.
Therapy, counseling, and everything else that goes into self esteem. It is probably the most important thing in your life!!
Remember dump the junk!!
Gather yourself young lady. Life comes at you fast sometimes. Gotta remember to hold on tight, and dont let the earth’s tilt knock you down. Every storm downpours the hardest just before it passes. This, too, shall pass. Secondly, as a man, a female not wanting to sleep with me never made me watch gay porn or sleep with men. He’s not taking accountability for being a cheating opportunist who plays on your insecurities. Thats a HIM problem, not a you problem.
As far as the weight goes, you should strive for good health; you will NEVER be satisfied trying to look a certain way to appeal to fickle humans. You can always adjust your eating habits and level of physical activity. However, until you deal with that underlying self-esteem issue, you’ll be more likely to attract abusers and users. Its time for you to do some introspective work.
Let life come when its supposed to, not on a predetermined schedule. It feels better when its just organically manifesting anyhow rather than being forced. Sometimes things dont happen as we envisioned, and thats okay. It sounds like you genuinely dodged a bullet anyhow. Imagine being a wife/mother with this creep and you find out he’s bisexual and cheating on you! Thank God for that blessing and go begin again. Your life just gave you a restart button!
Um, excuse me…. I don’t think so. Do not let this man blame shift all his problems on you!
He’s got a whole lot of excuses, but they’re just that. It’s not your fault that he cheated because you gained weight. You didn’t turn him gay. He is full of it.
Do yourself a favor and leave this loser. Do not stay with him. He will cheat again. There are good men out there. This guy is not the one!
honey your bf didn’t cheat on you because of your weight. he did it because he is an a hole. move on and find someone who deserves you
Go to the gym, practice self love- watch videos about how to live with urself and be better. Love yourself then you’ll love ur job and ur life
Non of his cheating is your fault. There is nothing you can do or anyone can do to make someone gay. You’re better off away from a narcissist like him.
Have some self respect, leave him, set some goals and stick to them.