There’s this girl I’ve been friends with for a while (she’s 18, I’m 20), and it’s pretty obvious she has strong feelings for me. She always finds a reason to talk, text, or be around me. She laughs at everything I say, checks in about my day, and genuinely seems to care a lot. I care about her too—she’s kind, thoughtful, and honestly a great person—but I just don’t feel the same way romantically.
I’ve tried to be honest and keep things friendly, but I still feel like I’m unintentionally giving her hope. I’m not rude or cold toward her because I don’t want to hurt her, but every time I hang out or even just reply normally, I feel like I’m sending the wrong message. I know deep down nothing romantic will happen, but I don’t know how to say it clearly without crushing her or damaging the friendship. It’s starting to weigh on me because I feel stuck—like I’m either hurting her by keeping this going or risking losing her if I’m too blunt.
The outcome I want is to keep the friendship and stop giving her false hope, but I’m not sure how to do that in a way that’s clear and still kind.
TL;DR: My friend (18F) clearly likes me, but I (20M) don’t feel the same. I don’t want to hurt her or lose our friendship, but I feel like I’m leading her on. How can I set a boundary without making things worse?
Comments
Be blunt. In the end, it’s the kinder thing to do.
Tell you how much you value her friendship, and also that you want to be sure she understands that you have not interest in anything other than that with her.