I’m a 19 year old male with a sister that is 10 years older than me, and growing up we never had a connection nor have we ever interacted with each other on a serious note. When I was 10, my sister had already moved out to live an independent life as an adult, so we never had the chance to see each other much. A couple years after she moved out, she then got married and had other commitments making it hard for me to spend time with her. She is also exhausted from her 9-5 job, so she never has the energy to have a proper conversation with me without waiting a day to respond to each of my messages. I recently tried to connect with her a few months back and when we did interact, we didn’t have a lot in common. She was talking about taxes, mortgages, 401K etc, non of which I could relate with. Is there any advice I can take to strengthen my relationships with her? She does still care about me and does still miss me to this day.
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Huge maturity gap, you both like different things, this is gonna be hard.
But, nothing talking can’t fix. Just talk about anything, act like you know what you’re talking about and if you’re caught you two are gonna share a good laugh.
Or that’s just my experience
If she tired from the work grind and financial responsibilities, maybe offer to bring pizza, salad, and a Diet Pepsi one weekend evening for you two to just eat and watch TV together. I promise a night of not having to figure out dinner and just having it handed to me would make me love just about anyone.
Get a good pizza, buy a bag of salad or a spring mix container from the grocery store and a 2 liter – probably about $30 bucks. If you eat together and just talk a little you will find things that you do have in common and build some memories together. It could be your thing- make a pizza rating chart for you city.
I’ve nothing in common with my siblings (+7-10yrs). Their concerns and situations are foreign to me. Their gripes and criticisms bore me.
You can’t choose your relatives, but family is who you do choose. Would you socialize with your sibling if you weren’t related? No? Then don’t force yourself.
It’s okay to just be neutral and accepting of a sibling without feeling obligated or guilty for not being into them.
I’m the oldest and one of my siblings is thirteen years younger than me. I always made myself available to her, even when I married and had children. It was important to me, because my siblings and I left home when she was a young age.
As the oldest, she is aware that you are trying reaching out to her. However, she wants to keep you at arms length and is probably content with having a superficial connection instead.
Focus on yourself, hang out with friends and family who care about you. Do well and succeed in your life. You can just see her during family events. One day she’ll come around, but it will be when you no longer need her.
Set up a annual coffee. If that goes well make it 6 monthly.