My girlfriend went to the movies with a guy she knows. They smoked weed beforehand. And she claims nothing happened. I only found out because I went through her phone and found out there was flirting and so on. Here’s the issue tho. We have been together for roughly 6 years and have a 4 yr old daughter together. She’s done things similar and I’ve always believed her when she said she was just with her friend. Because of her upbringing and values. And honestly I haven’t been able to think straight since then. She was my other half. And now I’m kinda lost. And scared for what next. Any advice or messaging would be greatly appreciated as I don’t think I can talk about this to anyone in my family. She’s not adamant on breaking up and wants to be together or work on it. However I don’t think I can move on.
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If she showed this behavior before then you shouldn’t have had a kid with her, but since you can’t undo wrongs you can either
Either way you’re pretty screwed no matter which way you go, one is financially punishing and the other is psychologically punishing. Cheaters typically never change and the fact she has done it in the past shows this time wont be any different.
She cheated on you and wasn’t going to tell you. Don’t hang onto this because you’ve been together for 6 years and have a child. Reframe it… after being together for 6 years and sharing a child your girlfriend cheated on you.
SHE has to show remorse, take accountability and earn your trust back. Don’t let her downplay what she did. If she dismisses your feelings she’s gaslighting you.
And I’m sorry but you can’t believe they didn’t get physical… she’s a liar. Tell her that. Please tell a close family member of friend that she cheated you need support from someone who truly cares about you.
Tell your girlfriend she betrayed you and your child and she needs therapy to work on her insecurities and need for attention and validation outside of your relationship that is so bad that she could betray her family.
OR leave. I would.
>I only found out because I went through her phone and found out there was flirting and so on.
I’m just trying to better understand your situation.
Since you mentioned she did things similarly before, what exactly you found out now that has not happened before?
Why didn’t you see a problem before and what happened that made you see a problems now?
You guys are still very young and it seems like one person still wants to have fun.
Maybe try mutual separating and moving on with someone else. If you guys meant to be together then one day you will be or you might find someone better with the same value.
If both parties were happy then she would not have looked for attention from another person. Plus, you don’t want to live a life questioning if she actually cheated or not. Either you believe her fully or just accept the fact that you can’t believe that reality and move on.